Keep being called posh at work

[Consciousuncouplings]

I've lived on and off in Manchester for a lot of my life but spent around 10 years of my childhood 20 miles away. I've been back in Manchester now for around 5 years, I don't really have the accent, it's quite a neutral one and it's hard to pinpoint exactly where from I think.
I work for a place in Manchester where a lot of the colleagues are from around that area or live close by, most have quite a broad accent.

I've been referred to as posh by them a few times, one the other day commented on 'my accent.'

I once said something and one said 'Oh I thought you'd be too posh to say that."

They're acting as though I speak like the Royal Family, far from it! I'm not posh in the slightest, and my accent is just very neutral, I spent some childhood in a market town about 20 miles away like I say.

I don't know why it bothers me really, but some people seem to associate you with thinking you're above others, snobby and so on and I'm none of those.
When they say it I just say 'no I'm not.'
Does anyone else get things like this and how do you deal with it?

I had this from some people in work who were trying to subtlety bully me. A dear friend picked up on it and said to them ‘umm no Keith. Tommys not posh, just educated…’
was very grateful someone else had noticed!

It's called banter. If your a Northerner you should know this. I have a NW accent but live in the SE so it works both ways, people take the piss out of how I pronounce certain words. It's lighthearted.

I do find it strange when someone has lived most of their life somewhere and do not have the local accent. It is usually I find because of snobbery.

It's odd, isn't it, how some comments are considered OK (still) but others rude.
So, people can comment how much weight you've lost (which many would interpret as a compliment) but not how much you've put on. Being tall is perceived as OK, but not short (my great-aunt used to exclaim, "oh, you're all such lampposts" when we arrived to visit but would have been rightly horrified if we'd referred to her as a bollard!). Posh accent is deemed OK but not a "common" one.

You sound fucking horrible.

Something like this.

Challenge them for continuing to try and pigeon hole you.

I had a woman at work who used t keep saying to me, 'Oh I didn't think you'd xyz...' Meaning 'I thought you were too posh and square ever to be even a tiny bit like lovely, earthy me' so I kept just saying, 'You thought wrong. You thought wrong again. Onmce again, you thought wrong.' In the end she shut up. But god it's boring. Rise above it. Literally, if you want to. Get promoted to a level where people don't put you down and in a box.

I've lived in all sorts of places, which has ironed out my original childhood accent. I can still slip into it, but it's so many decades away now that locals would probably think it was a pisstake. And yes, at one job in the north of England I was told I sounded like Margaret Thatcher. In case there's any doubt, it wasn't intended as a compliment. They meant posh, and bossy. I was their boss, so fair point on that score, but my background was exactly the same as theirs, ie working class. Can you tell it still rankles, 30 years later?

potniatheron · Today 11:32
I think you just need to laugh it off otherwise you will risk coming off as humourless and have it turned against you.

Would you say that if someone was being teased for having a regional accent?
Op it’s a nasty form of bullying - tell HR.

I get the frustration OP, no one knows where I’m from! Admittedly I don’t “look” Iike your typical Brit, most people assume I’m from Spain/the Mediterranean and the word exotic gets thrown around a lot (I’m from Portuguese and Jewish decent).
My accent has always been a source of confusion as well, even when I was a child I never developed the local accent so I was always called posh and asked what country was I from and when did move to England etc I’ve had people ask me if I’m Spanish, French, Greek, if I’m half Asian, Australian or from New Zealand, literally a couple of weeks ago my neighbour asked me what country I’m from! 😂 they always look a bit embarrassed when I say England.
My neighbour said my accent confused her and I look like I’m from a warmer climate.
I take it in my stride now as it happens so often, especially since moving to the SW.

I forgot to say EVERYONE else in my family has the local accent, I’m the odd one out and its always confused my parents as well

@Sublimeursula its the way you said it

Then of course people will comment. You must at some point have decided to deliberately change how you talk.

The rude person is exhibiting reverse snobbery, aka a giant chip on their shoulder. I'd say sweetly

" I'm sure your accent hasn't held you back, but if you're feeling insecure about it why not invest in a voice coach or elocation lessons? "

It sounds like because you don't have a Manc accent like they do they're calling you posh

Depends how you want to play it, you could complain or you could say yes, I don't sound common like you

I'm in my 60s and from a lower middle class background in the SE. They wanted me to do well and they encouraged me to 'speak properly'. I probably have a vaguely middle class Londonish accent.

I've lived in Manchester and now in Wales and I've been put down as 'posh' a number of times — and it's always been a passive-aggressive swipe. People have assumed all kinds of ridiculous things about me from my accent. I've been told I must have gone to private school, that my parents must own a big house, that I must have a trust fund, that I'm putting it on to impress — none of it true.

Persistently calling someone posh is a put-down and I completely understand why you're uncomfortable, OP. I don't know what you do. It says so much more about them than it does about you.

Oh god I’ve had this both ways. From a ‘naice’ town in n ireland, had the piss ripped out of me all the time at school and in retrospect realised it was in quite a malevolent way, not ‘banter’ at all, and SO SO SO SO relentless, to the point where I am avoiding going for drinks with school friends (male are much worse than female) as so fucking boring after 25 years.

I wouldn’t mind it so much except all their families are much more middle class than mine, parents are consultant doctors, headteachers, senior police, civil servants, while my mum left a secondary modern at 16 and became a secretary and dad was a retail manager. But oh no! Let’s get those wee digs in to me over a few pints, fun!

Ironically one has bought a holiday home near by and has started getting shit for now being part of the naice area and is outraged!

But when I lived in London people acted like it was miraculous I could spell or count past 10, despite our schools often being the highest performing in the U.K. Also: I don’t have a ‘regional’ accent, I come from a different country!

@2bazookas So you are advising she responds by being snobby and putting someone down? Yeah that is really going to help her in the workplace.

I get this all the time, OP. It's just banter. I banter along with whoever is saying it. I don't know why anyone would be bothered by it.

The old Mancunian chip on the shoulder, rears its ugly head again. Many a native Mancunian will tell you how proud they are of the city, and how fantastic, the people are. Unfortunately, that’s not always true especially if you’re an incomer. They pride themselves on being ‘the capital of the north’ to make up for their lack of history /cultural identity compared to eg York,Leeds or Liverpool - and will drone on about it a lot. Sadly, the city doesn’t really have any soul. The chippiness comes from a deep sense of insecurity imo so ignore it or practice the classic MN tinkly laugh, and/or i’did you mean to be so rude?’’. .

How I would LOVE to say this but honestly you’d just get punched in the face if you did!