Friend and her online men

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

Some posters might recall me discussing my concerns about this friend before. She's got lots of men she talks to without meeting. All she's seen are photos, never facetimed zoomed or anything. Telephone calls with some who are local but never met. Shared intimate photos with some of these. Two current ones are real but some are obviously scammers like the

catalogue model who couldn't zoom because he slipped on the catwalk.

She talks about these people at length which often makes for a boring conversation. I just decided to back off and let her get on with it.

Last night however I was at her house and saw a list of Brut items on a sheet of paper. 2 bottles of shower gel. 3 roll on deodorants. 4 anti perspirant deodorant. 6 body sprays. One cologne. 4 Brut splash on bottles. On it goes with other items and the address of the alleged doctor in Botswana.

I'm concerned this is the start of her sending money. I can't challenge her because I shouldn't really have seen it but it was left out on the dining room table.

Her sister is very concerned about her and her activities. Do I say something to the friend, the sister or say nothing?

What would you do?

And sorry but the model incapacitated by slipping on the catwalk is hilarious, the scammer himself must find it funny too

I know! This is a different one, not the zulu warrior. Since the start of 2021 we have had:

A married logistics manager who is the cousin of her former partner connected as FB friends, he blocked her when she started wanting a romantic relationship with him

A local guy met her on a local forum, he blocked her

A van driver from Milton Keynes who threatened her with the police - met this one on a music FB page

Several "Americans" contacting her via a FB group that came and went

A Nigerian football player

A local guy met her on a local forum, married, sharing naked videos and photos, promising to call on her when he next visits "me mam"

A local van driver met on another local forum, kept blocking her for another woman, never met, just blocking and unblocking

The catalogue model, forgot where he came from, Las Vegas or San Francisco or somewhere

An African called Larry who talks to her on Telegram

Now the Zulu warrior, that's been going on about 10 months

There will be more ... there are probably more that I have forgotten, more I don't know about.

She's been into reading and calligraphy. I bought her a calligraphy set for Christmas, she's never looked at it.

I thought you wrote that your friend is partially sighted?

She is. She has diabetic retinopathy, but she reads with a Kindle (very large font) and she can see to write and draw.

I thought the Zulu warrior and the Zimbabwean in Botswana were two different men...

I'm not saying that there are no Zulu people from Zim, but usually they are from a different region.

But she does have quite a list going here. I have to wonder how much damage this is doing to her self esteem.

@isthismylifenow Have messaged you.

I could be confusing Larry with another one. There are too many to keep track of.

A male friend of mine in the US has also had the "catalogue model". It's very very sad. He utterly believes all who approach him online and commits himself to these "relationships" wholly and almost instantly. I have had to step back and not engage further with the nonsense. I'm still friends with him, but I don't acknowledge or even discuss these things. Every single time he believes that "this one is different". It never is and any attempts to rationalise or explain are met with disbelief and/or anger.

Sadly, you cannot save some people from themselves. It's horrible to see, especially when it's so obvious.

Sounds like she needs Nev and Max to stage an intervention and prove these scammers.

She's watched all these shows too which make it even more ridiculous!

But she does have quite a list going here. I have to wonder how much damage this is doing to her self esteem.

But she gets a buzz out of it. They probably ddeclaring love and telling her she is beautiful. Etc
Just keep trying to tell her to limit what she spends on them
Until she actually met them
And never to pay flights etc

Oh my days I feel absolutely awful but I'm howling at the list you just posted African Larry a Zulu warrior and the catalogue model who can't zoom because he slipped on the runway it's like a remake of Muriel's wedding or something

It's a starter, testing the water. He might even send her the money for them. Next time though it'll be €5000 for emergency medical supplies or rent for the failing hospital....

The frightening thing is that it's real! As they say, You Couldn't Make It Up.

My friend went on holiday to Barbados and ended up staying 6 weeks and walking out on her job because she met 'the one'. He took her gold rings to remind him of her. She got a smelly bandana. First time he vouldnt come over because his gran died. She sent him a suit through the post (I told her that they don't wait 3 weeks to bury there), then he had to pay his disters school fees. He asked friend to send him money for plane tickets as her was desperate to be with her. I convinced her to say the tickets were at the airport for collection. Obviously he never went to the airport! She was heart broken then admitted she'd sent about £5000 for official paperwork/passports. It took her a while to accept shevhad been scammed. Its fair to say she was unlucky in love and desperate for a partner.
Keep an eye on your friend and show her some Catfish clips on YouTube......and be ready to help her pick up the pieces.its unlikely she'll listen.

An African called Larry who talks to her on Telegram

^
I'm sorry but I am in absolute stitches laughing at this.

You're better than Alan Bennett op, absolutely hilarious

But sorry about your friend, she's a fool

Why did the local man block her? And the van driver threaten to phone the police? Were they fakes as well?

I wouldn’t do anything further OP, there’s enough info out there and has been for years, I remember all them sad stories in Take a Break about 15-16 years ago of these women scammed online by their “boyfriends” abroad. She won’t listen x

I don't know which I like bes

Which I like best the Zulu warrior or the Catwalk model. But I do know someone like your friend. She list her house her car her mother's car her condo ...to this day belives this guy disappeared because he died of cancer. Not that he disappeared when she finally lost everything

Omg , I bet your so frustrated with her . How old is she ?

42. Old enough to know better!

You sound like you are taking the piss out of her rather than worrying to be honest.

Doesn't sound like that at all have you not read what the op has done and who she has spoken to regarding her friend?

Yes I have read the thread and it still sounds like that

So what's your justification to think she's taking the piss? She makes real effort with this friend and has tried all she can to prevent this