I've known this friend since nursery, and we were close in school but then inevitably drifted as life got busy. We were meeting up every couple of years for a while, and we stayed in touch with phone and video calls in lockdown.
After the pandemic, she was a bit more short in her messages (I checked whether she was ok and she seemed to be). We stopped talking at this point as it was only ever me reaching out.
She then reached out after moving to a new area where she had no friends. I understood her loneliness but wondered if she could be using me as her other friends now lived further away. I agreed to meet up anyway to give it another chance. The day after arranging plans (for 3 weeks in advance) I realised I'd double booked! Sent an apologetic message asking if we could move the plans just a few days after. She said she might be away then but she'd let me know.
She didn't ever let me know, and I didn't ever check with her (as I thought the ball was in her court and she'd reach out if she wanted to).
We went months without speaking. It's my birthday tomorrow, and she has just messaged saying she's been bad with keeping in touch with everyone but she wants to catch up.
I know I can be paranoid, so maybe I'm overthinking this and she's just busy. But I'm also sick of giving in, putting effort it, and then it being one-sided, so not really sure what to do?
I'm also aware this seems very petty, and I do have bigger problems to focus on. I just wouldn't want to drop a friend if it was unnecessary.