Early morning starts with children

[Sacmagique75]

When I was a child in the 90s I used to wake up super early. I’d quietly put the tv on and watch live and kicking for hours until my parents emerged, I did not dare open their closed bedroom door before they woke and came out. Which was never before 9am on a weekend. I certainly didn’t barge in, demanding breakfast at 5:30, crying and whinging until they relented. My two young children have always been early risers but now at the ages of 6 and 4 is it too much to ask that they quietly entertain themselves with tv for an hour rather than demand I get out of bed before 6:30?

Yea seems a bit risky letting a 4 year old have free roam of the kitchen.

Not worried about tripping or anything like that but messing with things that might harm them would be my worry.

My child can make their own breakfast but without supervision the risks just outweigh some extra sleep.

@Plaidparty what risks are you foreseeing from pouring some cereal and milk into a bowl?

Mine helpfully wake me up to tell me they’re awake, any time day or night, but then do watch tv or read or something until gone 7am weekdays or about 8-9am weekends.
Suits them as they can watch things I wouldn’t want to.

These are perceived risks, most children are a lot more capable than their ott parents like to believe.

It’s a shame you’re content holding yours back

Also make their own breakfast, get washed and dress and brush teeth since about 7yo.
Though I am there and awake for most of it and they’ll shout if they get stuck

Do you have a partner or is it just you OP? Pretty much the best thing about having a DH is tag team lie ins at the weekend. I sleep well knowing my DH gets up with them one morning and I do the next. There's no way I'd feel rested letting my 4 year old entertain himself after waking. My 6 year old can but 4 is way too young and I doubt at that age you were doing the same. Your memories are probably from around age 6 onwards.

OTT making young kids their breakfast in the morning!? Give over. That's part of normal family life.

Mine haven’t been disciplined into anything, I just say it’s early I’m going back to sleep, they can watch tv and get some food & they of course let me know if they’re struggling with anything because we’re all reasonable humans. I’m kind to them, they’re kind to me. We’re all reasonably sensible without being too OTT or risky. Other approaches seem very stressful or infantilising.
When they were younger and woke early they’d cosleep for a couple of hours or watch peppa pig on phone/tablets. Wouldn’t let them downstairs to potentially hurt themselves before they were ok to trust and knew they had the understanding/wherewithal of when to get help etc.

Don’t worry about my child being held back I can assure you that is not the case.

I wasn’t aware not left alone to make cereal or eat chocolate brioche and watch an iPad was a sign of holding back, as opposed to you know a family breakfast.

A mum on another group years ago said she used to make a ' packed breakfast' in her dc lunchbox with crossiants, drink etc, foods they could eat themselves and then put the tv on in her room

I couldn't handle those early starts.
I'm not a morning person, and it seems neither are my nearly 3-year-old twins.

They normally wake up at 8am (sleep at 8pm).
But last night they didn't go to bed till 9pm (family birthday party) and slept till 9am. It was great!
I hope they stay like this, but I'm dreading the early starts to get them up for school, once they start.

I wasn’t aware not left alone to make cereal or eat chocolate brioche and watch an iPad was a sign of holding back, as opposed to you know a family breakfast.

You're sarcastically implying that other posters' children are left to fend for themselves somehow and never have a family breakfast.

I was brought up to have a yoghurt and fruit to tide me over and quietly play in my room until they woke up later and I cooked breakfast with my parents on a Sunday morning. I don't see the harm in this. They worked bloody hard and wanted a lie in. You'd do well to occasionally let your children have a packed breakfast and treat yourself to a lie in. Kids enjoy the fun of it the same way they like pitching a tent in the garden and having baked beans on toast for dinner while they "camp". That doesn't mean they never have a family dinner or are somehow left feral to raise themselves in the wilderness. There's no harm in it.

Mine have the option to make their own breakfast if they wake up really early and are hungry but most of the time they’ll have a drink or small snack and watch some Tv for 45 min before I wake up and we all have breakfast together. Or at the weekend they might have cereal before I get up, but I’m not really a breakfast type of person so we’ll all have nice brunch once I’m awake and had a cup of tea or two, or the youngest will have a cup of tea with me.
it doesn’t have to be one or the other. And you don’t need to get up with your kids at 5:30am every day to have quality time with them. For me & them is much better quality having been rested.
I have 2 kids though so they keep eachother company. I feel like it might be sad for an only child to be watching telly alone waiting for their parents to wake up. Depends on your family and the situation.
I know my kids have been really proud of themselves and have healthy self esteems when they’ve been able to make their own breakfast cereal and later when they’ve made toast etc. There’s a happy medium.

can they go to bed and hour later?

Just bought this. Great idea

DS 3 doesn’t come out of his room until his sun comes up on his Gro Clock. He sings and looks at books etc. He has to be up through the week at 6.30 for nursery, but on a weekend I set it for 7 and then he comes in our bed and watches tv for half an hour while we have a brew and pull ourselves together!

When I was little I always woke my mum up. In fact on a Saturday she used to get up at 6am to record Care Bears for me. So I think kids have always been exhausting little buggers 😂 I’ve apologised to her many times for that.

I did not speak for anyone else’s family. I said my child not making making her own breakfast was not holding her back as the other poster rudely said and yeah, I do believe that it is better for her to have breakfast with us than have something off a tray in her room/downstairs alone.

As I said don’t worry about me, I don’t need a lie in and if I do, my husband will get up with her rather than tell her not to disturb us for 2/3 hours with tough love or discipline or whatever else has been mentioned.

You might not agree, which is of course your right. But leaving a 4yr old alone for 2 hours is not my parenting style.

As I said don’t worry about me, I don’t need a lie in and if I do, my husband will get up with her rather than tell her not to disturb us for 2/3 hours with tough love or discipline or whatever else has been mentioned.

You might not agree, which is of course your right. But leaving a 4yr old alone for 2 hours is not my parenting style.

That's grand you've got a husband and can do that. You might only be speaking for your family but what you're implying about other families is dripping with sanctimony.

Some children relish time alone as well as time with their families. I was one of those. It was a joy to spend an hour or two watching vhs tapes and happily playing with my toys before my parents woke up. For heavens sake, up until not that long ago children used to happily play out all day until the street lights came on.

This, this thread is batshit. But then parenting is batshit nowadays, which is why the level of bad behaviour in children nowadays is so high!

Not read all of the thread so apologies if this has already been covered. I would say children are capable of making their own breakfast from 4yrs old/reception year at school. My youngest did it a ɓit earlier but I think that was a combination of being at breakfast club (nursery class in a school) and being emotionally reliant on older siblings to model breakfast behaviour.

We did an introduction beforehand, bigging up that they were now allowed to make their own breakfast, moved crockery and cereal into lower cupboards and as we used 6 pinters of milk we would put some into little breastmilk bottles the night before. That way they wouldnt spill too much and could just pour the whole thing into the bowl with no issues. They would then happily go down for breakfast and fruit from the fruit bowl without coming in to us first.

It has generally worked pretty well. We have had to have several conversations over the years about what is an emergency and what isn't. (Somebody hurt- wake mummy, Can't find a particular beyblade- not an emergency). Generally though they love the telly freedom, especially as us waking tends to mean turning it off, and have enjoyed "inventing" toast sandwiches.

When cousins stayed over aged maybe 7 we went through it all with them, but later found out my kids made them breakfast. Forgot to explain with another visitor maybe 6yo and was woken up by her "telling tales" on my child for going downstairs on their own. And then again for them getting food on their own. And then again for them getting an apple themselves. Man that was not fun.

Hahahahaha! Just read the last couple of pages where people are attacking each other to justify to themselves their way is best.

Look. If you like getting up as soon as your child does to spend time with them go for it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, you don't have to defend your decision to do so. It's lovely and your child will have lots of happy memories of mornings with you. But don't try make out that people doing things differently are in the wrong. Developmentally the independence is age appropriate. They will be independent in their food and play choices at school and it can be reinforced at home. They will still have family time, just not at 6am on a saturday. But come on guys if a parent isn't reinforcing independence at home the child is still going to be fine. They're not going to leave home not knowing how to pour milk into a bowl or being too scared to walk down stairs alone. Just chill out and stop judging each other. Both ways work for different families/children, the ratio is different to how it has been in the past and it will also vary between countries/cultures. Create what works for you.

Groclock here too and a very non compliant child. But she doesn’t come out early. Sometimes I tell her she can get out of bed but mommy needs some time to wake up. We had a period last summer where she was coming out at night, we tried walking her back etc but in the end explained that big upsets like nightmares and needing to poop were ok reasons to come out, but any other reason would mean we’d need to lock her door because coming out all the time meant the whole family was exhausted. She came out one more time, locked door, 20 mins tears, no more coming out. That said we’re on vacation in a house without a lock on the door so wish me lunch tonight…

We also don’t lock her door, one time was enough of a consequence.

I am not so much surprised that 4 year olds can make their own breakfasts - but I am surprised and impressed that they aren't getting up to mischief unsupervised. Mine wake up at 6 so if I left them to it till 9, that would be a long time. I think my 6 year old would be fine but my younger one (3.5), I can't see being safe unsupervised for hours in six months when he is 4.

I am inspired though and will give it a go when they are a bit older