Early morning starts with children

[Sacmagique75]

When I was a child in the 90s I used to wake up super early. I’d quietly put the tv on and watch live and kicking for hours until my parents emerged, I did not dare open their closed bedroom door before they woke and came out. Which was never before 9am on a weekend. I certainly didn’t barge in, demanding breakfast at 5:30, crying and whinging until they relented. My two young children have always been early risers but now at the ages of 6 and 4 is it too much to ask that they quietly entertain themselves with tv for an hour rather than demand I get out of bed before 6:30?

It’s a bit bonkers this thread is. People are acting like children waking up is the height of disrespect and that it’s acceptable to lie in bed for hours while they roam around the house.

Ours naturally stopped waking us when they were 6 and 4 BUT they go down to their iPads. Now they are 8 and 9 they can give us until 9:30 easily.

I do take him back to bed. Or pop him in bed with me, depending. He lies awake, staring at ceiling until his groclock turns yellow or I tell him he can go downstairs. In his 7 years of life I don't think he's once gone back to sleep after 4.30. No matter what we've tried (and we really have tried, consistently). The only time he's ever slept past 7am he was ill. My mum says I was a painfully early riser though, something that's never really changed, even as a teenager. 8am is a lie in for me, but 5am is also far too early!

My eldest son was never a good sleeper. Always up with the sparrows farts . He did eventually grow out of it.....now nearly 18 and still wakes early. But that's because he has a 30 mile journey to college x

@Getinajollymood

wow roaming around their own HOUSE you say! Shocking! Almost like roaming like round the streets

It isn’t like roaming around the streets, but I am rather inclined to think that on a different type of thread posters would be criticised pretty heavily for use of iPads/tablets and for children downstairs unsupervised for what are pretty long periods. I mean, of course an age thing comes into it - if they are ten fair enough - but four seems pretty young to me. I do remember my dad getting up with me to watch The Littles if anybody remembers that, and my parents were not overprotective types: the opposite really.

Is all about a matter of example, don’t you know ? 😛 I am a great sleeer.
haha it worked with mine.

I absolutely love sleeping a lot during the weekends.
Both my children Co- sleeped with me until 7 years old. I aways had a super kind and a lot of space so I never really minded and I love cuddles.
Both of them them sleep until they have to wake up to school and to work and they don’t try to wake me up during the weekends :)

I would be fuming if I had to :)
In a serious manner: They just need to get used to your rules. I’ve learned that If they wake up at stupid o’clock, a good trick is to not talk to them, don’t say a word, don't interact, put them back to bed and walk away. And repeat, until they get the message.

next morning, explain what time is acceptable to Be up and let trying :)

Hey I have found that the Tonie box works wonders my 4 year old pops it on if he wakes up early and either falls back to sleep or quite happily sits and listens to it until around 7am which is a good time for me!

When we were young (between age 4-8) my siblings used to love going stairs to watch cartoons, I didn’t really like cartoons but I’d join them sometimes
I think a big part of the appeal was we didn’t have access to cartoons 24/7 the way kids do now.
If you didn’t get up on Saturday to watch Fun Factory or whatever there was a good chance you wouldn’t see much in the way of childrens tv at all and if you missed an episode of your favorite series there was no way to catch up!
there was also the added bonus of not having parents around telling you off for stuff like drinking seven up out of a bowl instead of a cup or moaning about how stupid the cartoons were
it was very much the kids zone for us - no grown ups allowed

Op, you’ve got children who are especially social and ready to start the day early. In other words, there’s no training them to quietly sit for a few hours 😂
What you say is correct about earlier generations, kids automatically were very deferential to parents.

I agree. I am all for things like the gro clock/Tonie Box that help kids stay in their rooms half an hour or an hour later but I think 4 is too young to be unsupervised for hours downstairs.

I just always got my eldest 2 in bed with me and stuck the tv on for them for an hour. They’re 16 and 18 now. But I have 5 month old twins and that’s what I’ll be doing with them in a couple of years. Nothing better than a film in bed and cuddles on a Sunday morning!

Why would you plan to get up at 4:30am?! I said we’d go back to bed if they woke too early. You’d be happy for your kids to play in their room from 4:30am?!

Also, 9am is in the morning. So I’d not advise going to bed then even if you did need to get up at 4:30. 😂

There is a middle ground between kids ‘being scared of you’ and them waking you to obey their every whim from whoever they open their eyes.

There should be a ‘reasonable’ time to expect morning activity and noise (different in every household) and until that time they learn that they have to quietly amuse themselves.

Healthy and consistent boundaries do not hurt children.

My 6 year old wakes up early, comes down and puts the TV on. He's only allowed down after 7. He makes himself breakfast and some for his 3 (almost 4) year old brother if needed too. Although he mostly wakes up earlier than his brother so the latter is rare.
Obviously only cereal, etc...
He's been doing this since the age of 5ish.
He doesn't get to watch any TV mid-week so it's his weekend treat. He can watch any shows he likes on Netflix on the smart TV (which has an age-related restriction) with the condition of not waking anyone up.
With the exception of him asking for permission before coming down, he just sorts himself out. But he is looking forward to his "TV day".

Your memory of doing that surely can’t be from when you were just 4 though? A 4 yo out of bed without an adult up too would surely be dangerous?

My youngest is almost 9, and broadly speaking I get up when I’m ready on weekends - unless there’s somewhere to be (which tbh is most Saturdays - necessitates an 8.30 wake up so not too bad)

I think you just have to wait a bit!

My sister allows their ipad on Sunday mornings,has a setting set that it doesn't allow apps tbe used u til 7.30am. She gets up then around 8 and that's the end of it (in theory) reckons only way to lay on a Sunday

I do agree when we were little we would get up and go downstairs (not from age 4 though) and put on the tv. We didn’t go straight into my parents’ room.

However my dad is an early riser naturally - who also got up v early for work so was in that rhythm- so he’d be down not long after us. Making tea and so on.

I do remember getting a bit older and deciding I would make my parents tea in bed - from age 9/10 or something. Not sure how welcome it was!

Be careful what you wish for - a family member gets their children (3 and 5) to go downstairs and watch TV while parents keep sleeping. The other day they came downstairs to find the youngest had drawn all over the walls 🙃 So it might not be the best solution!

My kids know to stay in their room on their tablets until one of us gets up to feed them. It's not foolproof though and the youngest comes in about a billion times to get help with changing the game for him 😅 but it's better than getting up for the day before 5am

My boys are 10 & 11 now.
Generally on a weekend they get up at 7.30 (very rare it's later, but can be 8am occasionally). Of course you can guarantee eldest - yr7 of high school - I often have to wake at 7.15 Mon-Fri...but no...not on a weekend 🤦‍♀️
It's taken a long hard slog of putting them back to bed, teaching them to tell the time & the use of gro clicks, to get them both to stay put until after 7am weekdays & 7.30 weekends.
Youngest would be up like 5am everyday if we let him - still!

They can go downstairs, requested they do this quietly, close the living room door & watch TV/tablets/phones.
They can help themselves to fruit for snacks and technically could do their own cereal or a sandwich. But they don't, they will wait for us to get up.
Yongest is always hungry for breakfast as soon as he gets up, eldest prefers to wait.

Sometimes yongest will come & ask if we can go make breakfast at like 8am....but we can now get to 8.30 or sometimes 9 before he comes to bother us and we call that a win.
At which point I'm normally awake anyway since compared to my 6.30 weekdays, anything after 8 is a good sleep in 🤦‍♀️

I put them to bed later on Friday and Saturday nights, result, a lie in the morning. If I’m really lucky, we get to stay in bed until around 8am.

Not a chance! Mine would be told to get back into bed or stay in her room! No way would I make her breakfast that early… you’re training their bellies to need food at ridiculous times and their belly is waking them up!
I’ve never been up earlier than 7am with my daughter.. she told to go back to bed.. and I didn’t give in… eventually they learn not to bother.

My son was the same, would quietly entertain himself until I got up. He’s 26 now. I was a very lucky SM.

If they are hungry, look at their diet - how they eat and what they eat. Try: cutting all sugar after 4pm, cutting processed foods after 4pm, reducing carbs and increasing protein and veg, which will all help stabilise blood sugar overnight and keep them fuller for longer. Make sure they have a substantial dinner. And make sure they understand they need to have a substantial dinner full of protein and veg, because they are waking up hungry, so what they are currently eating isn’t working. Maybe leave a banana next to their bed, so they eat that and go back to sleep if they are hungry before it’s time to get up.

They are used to waking up early now, so you will have to break the habit. Invent consequences rather than incentives, because at the moment, their whinging seems to be rewarded and they get what they want. Put a clock or groclock in there and set a rule that they must stay in bed until 8am - they are old enough to do that. If they can’t, you’ll be so tired during the following day and moaning about your own exhaustion, that you’ll have to cancel the lovely plans you had for them 😉 or delay / shorten them etc.

Make sure they know at bedtime (and through the day) that you need your sleep to keep your brain healthy and that the consequence of getting out of bed for no reason before 8am, is you will be too tired to have a lovely day - it’s an important lesson for them both about sleep, consequences and kindness. They need sleep to keep their brain healthy, as well as for good mental health. If they have the habit of staying in bed and there isn’t an incentive to get out of bed, then they might start sleeping longer as well.

Good luck - sleep is so important and setting healthy sleep habits for the kids and looking after your own sleep is protecting your health.

I really appreciate you taking the time to write this reply. It feels a bit like a lightbulb moment reading this. My youngests diet is pretty appalling when I really think about it. She’s not fussy per se but is certainly fickle and what she ate yesterday she will not like tomorrow. She front loads the day with breakfast (a big bowl of porridge, but then usually followed by two bowls of sugary cereals) claims to be constantly hungry all day and is always asking for and eating food, then often rejects her evening meal but does still always get a pudding - usually sugar based. Writing it down like this it’s quite obvious where we are going wrong! Although in the moments constantly being begged for food it’s hard not to just give her a sandwich to make her quiet. So I suspect there is some logic between her crazy sugar intake and her bad sleep and mood swings. Implementing better eating though is the challenging part.