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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teenager Working in Coffee Shop

52 replies

TellMeTheTruthTheWholeTruth · 21/01/2023 17:43

My 15 year old daughter works in a cafe/coffee shop on a Saturday and during school holidays.

She's on minimum wage and a zero hours contract. The owner/manager is a nice woman and lets all the staff help themselves fo a free lunch and a drink (although obviously nothing too extravagant) during their lunch break.

My daughter worked over the Christmas and New Year holidays. The owner was away. My daughter helped herself to a lunch and drink as usual. However the deputy manager charged her for these every day, despite knowing she gets them free normally (not even giving the cafe's usual friends and family discount).

My daughter didn't like to say anything but it was about £8 every day (think panini and milkshake). This is quite a lot when you're on minimum wage (it's almost two hours salary).

She won't say anything but if this were to happen going forward, what do you think the best way of dealing with it is? I think she should simply say something to the deputy manager, or should she ask the manager before she next goes off?

My daughter won't listen to me (typical teenager thinks I know nothing) so I said I'd post on here so she can see your replies!

Thanks.

OP posts:
Ivesaidenough · 21/01/2023 17:50

I would just ask about it directly, while both manager and deputy are there. eg. "Is lunch included when I am working? As sometimes you charge me full price and sometimes you don't charge at all, so I'm not sure."
Maybe the deputy doesn't feel comfortable with authorising it while the owner is away but would feel OK if the owner confirmed it was fine.

Mushroo · 21/01/2023 17:52

I’d just take my own lunch in when the deputy manager is in. The deputy manager probably isnt comfortable allowing it for free if they haven’t been specifically authorised to do so.

The owner can give the free lunch as it’s their cost and they can choose what to do - the deputy manager isn’t in the same position.

dew141 · 21/01/2023 17:52

If it doesn't cause any issues with the deputy, I'd suggest she asks a fairly innocent question to the manager.

Along the lines of wanting to check the current policy on staff lunches as she was charged over Christmas and if this is the case going forward (which isn't a problem), she'll bring in lunch as she's trying to save up her wages.

Steviebrown · 21/01/2023 18:03

Op said that her daughter won't say anything, so what's the point of relating what we would say?
She's only 15 Op, so why don't you just ask her to warn you when the manager is going to be away next time and you'll get some stuff in so she can make a lunch and take it in. That's if she can't be brave enough to ask in advance next time.

Original poster
TellMeTheTruthTheWholeTruth · 21/01/2023 18:23

Steviebrown · 21/01/2023 18:03

Op said that her daughter won't say anything, so what's the point of relating what we would say?
She's only 15 Op, so why don't you just ask her to warn you when the manager is going to be away next time and you'll get some stuff in so she can make a lunch and take it in. That's if she can't be brave enough to ask in advance next time.

I worded it wrongly.

She wouldn't say anything previously and she doesn't WANT to say anything going forward.

However, if people on here say that it's OK to ask then she will pluck up the courage and do it!

OP posts:
Trinity65 · 21/01/2023 18:58

Ivesaidenough · 21/01/2023 17:50

I would just ask about it directly, while both manager and deputy are there. eg. "Is lunch included when I am working? As sometimes you charge me full price and sometimes you don't charge at all, so I'm not sure."
Maybe the deputy doesn't feel comfortable with authorising it while the owner is away but would feel OK if the owner confirmed it was fine.

This ^

Its non confrontational and a question that is very valid.
At 15 I wouldn't know what to do and its only with age and the passing Years I started to stand up for myself.

Original poster
TellMeTheTruthTheWholeTruth · 21/01/2023 19:10

Thanks.

Sorry, don't mean to drip feed, but my daughter has just told me that at her interview the owner said she would give her a lunch (but it's obviously not part of a contract).

I wonder if the deputy paid for her lunch when the manager was away?

If she has to buy it herself I'd be tempted to go somewhere else for lunch (or take her own) as currently she sits at a table to eat the lunch provided but still gets up to clear tables despite being on her break (she's very conscientious). I'd be tempted to go somewhere else so she can relax.

OP posts:
SpentDandelion · 21/01/2023 19:11

Surely the deputy would be aware 're free lunch?
When l worked in a pub we all got a free drink and packet of crisps at end of shift, no matter who was in charge.
Your daughter needs to clarify this with her manager as deputy could be pocketing the money thinking she won't be challenged.

JudgeRudy · 21/01/2023 19:12

You've already said your daughter won't listen to you so get her to take a packed lunch or pay. If she's old enough to ignore you and make her own decisions she's old enough to live with the consequences

Original poster
TellMeTheTruthTheWholeTruth · 21/01/2023 19:13

SpentDandelion · 21/01/2023 19:11

Surely the deputy would be aware 're free lunch?
When l worked in a pub we all got a free drink and packet of crisps at end of shift, no matter who was in charge.
Your daughter needs to clarify this with her manager as deputy could be pocketing the money thinking she won't be challenged.

Very valid point.

And the owner is a nice woman and I think she'd be upset if she knew my daughter was buying lunches in there every day!

OP posts:
Original poster
TellMeTheTruthTheWholeTruth · 21/01/2023 19:16

JudgeRudy · 21/01/2023 19:12

You've already said your daughter won't listen to you so get her to take a packed lunch or pay. If she's old enough to ignore you and make her own decisions she's old enough to live with the consequences

Oh come on. I'm just trying to help my 15 year old.

At that age it's a big thing to ask your manager if you're entitled to a free lunch.

She's just not convinced that what her mum said is the right thing to do so wants to check with others!

OP posts:
Athenen0ctua · 21/01/2023 19:18

Was she asked to pay and decided to go ahead anyway, or was it deducted from wages?

sharperimage · 21/01/2023 19:23

Why would she listen to a bunch of random strangers on an internet forum?

Original poster
TellMeTheTruthTheWholeTruth · 21/01/2023 19:23

Athenen0ctua · 21/01/2023 19:18

Was she asked to pay and decided to go ahead anyway, or was it deducted from wages?

She prepared her lunch like she would normally and then, as she was taking it to the table, the deputy manager told her how much it would cost.

She was too embarrassed/shy to say something and then felt awkward not having lunch there on subsequent days!

I suppose confidence comes with age and experience!

OP posts:
Original poster
TellMeTheTruthTheWholeTruth · 21/01/2023 19:24

sharperimage · 21/01/2023 19:23

Why would she listen to a bunch of random strangers on an internet forum?

Well we might as well get rid of MN if nobody is going to listen to any responses!

OP posts:
Cotswoldmama · 21/01/2023 19:51

I think I would talk to the manager when the deputy wasn't there. And just ask something along the lines of 'blank could I talk to you for a minute? I don't want to sound ungrateful but can I check if I am allowed a free lunch when I'm working as deputy told me I had to pay but I thought my lunch was free? I love eating the food here but I can't really afford to so I can bring my own lunch in if it's not free'

Dacadactyl · 21/01/2023 19:55

She should definitely say something along the lines of "Is that right? Because usually Sue doesn't charge me for this, has that changed? She didnt tell me before she left. I'll have to bring my packed lunch tomorrow if there's been a change" and see what the deputy manager says.

ravenia · 21/01/2023 20:00

Absolutely ask, whoever of the manager/owner she's most comfortable with.

Also, since you said "all staff" in your first post, are there any other staff who have been charged for their lunch by the deputy? Just thinking if it's only your daughter it's definitely taking advantage, but if it's all of them, maybe a genuine misunderstanding which can be sorted out.

Alternatively, if she really isn't comfortable with directly asking, when the owner/manager returns, could she bring in her own lunch and see if the owner asks why? Not ideal as very passive, but I think as a teen I might have done that rather than raise it directly.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 21/01/2023 20:07

She should ask the manager to clarify. It’s a huge amount of her salary to be wrongly taken from her.

Coffeellama · 21/01/2023 20:10

Ivesaidenough · 21/01/2023 17:50

I would just ask about it directly, while both manager and deputy are there. eg. "Is lunch included when I am working? As sometimes you charge me full price and sometimes you don't charge at all, so I'm not sure."
Maybe the deputy doesn't feel comfortable with authorising it while the owner is away but would feel OK if the owner confirmed it was fine.

This is perfect, she should do this. But also in future if you realise you will have to pay £8 every day, start taking your own food in!

Reluctantadult · 21/01/2023 20:14

If she asks the deputy manager politely next time, what's the worst that can happen? She would just confirm she needs to pay. If that's the way it goes then your daughter is free to go somewhere cheaper for lunch or take her own and chill out somewhere. Which is a win. If on the other hand the deputy didn't know the deal then her lunch then becomes free again. Also a win. So I make that a win win! She's just got to be polite. Maybe she could role play out with you to build up some confidence. Good luck op's daughter!

asblindasabat · 21/01/2023 20:24

I’d be furious. If the owner says it’s free, it’s free! Tell her to ask the deputy manager (politely) as to why he is charging her when the owner allows her to have lunch for free.

tictokontheclock · 21/01/2023 20:30

Sounds like the deputy like showing authority while the boss is away. There's always one like that. If she's too shy just make sure she brings in a lunch on those days as £8 is serious money to fork out each day.

Oblomov22 · 21/01/2023 20:32

This is so poor, and I would talk to dd and implore her to say something to her boss.

pattihews · 21/01/2023 20:33

Ivesaidenough · 21/01/2023 17:50

I would just ask about it directly, while both manager and deputy are there. eg. "Is lunch included when I am working? As sometimes you charge me full price and sometimes you don't charge at all, so I'm not sure."
Maybe the deputy doesn't feel comfortable with authorising it while the owner is away but would feel OK if the owner confirmed it was fine.

You've had the answer. I'd suggest wording it a bit more like this, but it's an issue that needs sorting out. Charging a teenager who's being paid £5 an hour £8 is appalling.

'Oh, while both of you are here together, can I ask a question? Sometimes when I'm working I'm allowed to help myself to a free lunch and sometimes I'm charged for it. I'm only earning £5 an hour and I can't afford to pay for a meal. I can bring a packed lunch from home if necessary, but I need to know what the rule is and where I stand. Thank you.'