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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teenager Working in Coffee Shop

52 replies

TellMeTheTruthTheWholeTruth · 21/01/2023 17:43

My 15 year old daughter works in a cafe/coffee shop on a Saturday and during school holidays.

She's on minimum wage and a zero hours contract. The owner/manager is a nice woman and lets all the staff help themselves fo a free lunch and a drink (although obviously nothing too extravagant) during their lunch break.

My daughter worked over the Christmas and New Year holidays. The owner was away. My daughter helped herself to a lunch and drink as usual. However the deputy manager charged her for these every day, despite knowing she gets them free normally (not even giving the cafe's usual friends and family discount).

My daughter didn't like to say anything but it was about £8 every day (think panini and milkshake). This is quite a lot when you're on minimum wage (it's almost two hours salary).

She won't say anything but if this were to happen going forward, what do you think the best way of dealing with it is? I think she should simply say something to the deputy manager, or should she ask the manager before she next goes off?

My daughter won't listen to me (typical teenager thinks I know nothing) so I said I'd post on here so she can see your replies!

Thanks.

OP posts:
CantStartaFireWithoutaSpark · 21/01/2023 20:35

Tbh, I think deputy was bang out of order
a mix of power gone to her/his head and also wanting to show takings were up to demonstrate she did a good job while owner was out.
shitty move.

if your daughter was comfortable with owner next time she had her lunch she should offer her money to pay for it, when the owner says no, say oh we had to pay over Christmas so I thought it wasn’t free anymore.
Basically play dumb! 😂 that’s how I get through life

Original poster
TellMeTheTruthTheWholeTruth · 21/01/2023 20:49

Thanks everyone.

I think she's earning £4.75 an hour so £8'ish for lunch is a lot. As mentioned earlier, she tends to work a bit whilst on her break too, so I think she should go out for lunch if she doesn't get a free one.

I'll show her all your responses and hopefully it will make her realise that raising it IS the right thing to DO!

OP posts:
PAFMO · 21/01/2023 20:52

It's fairly clear that the deputy manager doesn't know that the owner had told the girl she got a free lunch.
It's just a misunderstanding but if nobody clarifies it then it's going to continue.
Whether or not the girl will talk to the owner (or to the deputy) or not aside, it's obviously the only course of action.

Luredbyapomegranate · 21/01/2023 20:54

Mushroo · 21/01/2023 17:52

I’d just take my own lunch in when the deputy manager is in. The deputy manager probably isnt comfortable allowing it for free if they haven’t been specifically authorised to do so.

The owner can give the free lunch as it’s their cost and they can choose what to do - the deputy manager isn’t in the same position.

Well they are if the owner OKs it, which they clearly will. So just get your daughter to ask when they are both in, or if they are never in at the same time, then ask the manager and ask them to let the dept manager know, and then follow up to check they did.

It is really poor of the dep manager, and a good opportunity for your daughter to assert herself.

Tell her if she was a boy she’d do it. Don’t be the girl who meekly takes in packed lunch because she doesn’t want to offend anyone.

CrapBucket · 21/01/2023 20:58

I work in a cafe like this with a variety of shy teenagers. My advice is to say to the boss 'x can I check if I've been getting this wrong, am I meant to pay for lunch because I thought it was free when I'm working but Y said its £8?'. If you feel awkward asking, you could text or WhatsApp if thats normal for your cafe, it is with mine. And if you go in 5 mins early and ask right at the start of your shift you won't be worrying about asking all day. Also, well done, all cafe teenagers are lovely and doing much better than they think!!!

Original poster
TellMeTheTruthTheWholeTruth · 21/01/2023 21:00

The thing is, the owner gives them ALL a free lunch when she's there!

I don't know if the other staff had to pay when the owner wasn't there.

My daughter just needs to ask the question! There's no other way of resolving it!!

OP posts:
ItsNotReallyChaos · 21/01/2023 21:10

I think it's worth mentioning to the manager.

At the same age I worked in a shop and one time when the owner was away on holiday I got in a spot of bother as the till was £10 short at the end of the day when it was cashed up. The older staff who'd been there longer took it upon themselves to scare me into thinking that everyone thought I'd nicked it and that I'd be reported to the manager when he got back. I decided to tell him first and he made it clear to me that it wasn't my fault and nor was it anyone else's job to confront me about it.

SausageinaBun · 21/01/2023 21:14

If the owner promised it as part of the interview process then it is part of her contract - it doesn't have to be written down to be a contractual benefit.

ChildminderMum · 21/01/2023 21:17

Personally I would email the owner to clarify. She's a child, it's fine for mum to help with these things.

Dibbydoos · 21/01/2023 21:20

The manager sounds lovely, the deputy manager clearly doesn't know the rules or is after a promotion. I'd def raise with the manager - ie is lunch abd drink only available when you're here? Then see what she says. I suspect your DD will get her money back.

When I worked in restaurants, we got food and drink free. When I used to work behind tge bar, we'd get a drink free too. I think it's normal in hospitality.

OliveWah · 21/01/2023 21:20

Is there anyone else working with your DD (not the Manager or the deputy) who she feels comfortable asking? Once she's had another employee confirm that lunches are free, then I suspect she'll be happier to either raise it with the Manager in front of the Deputy, or if she's asked to pay for lunch by the Deputy, feels able to tell her that she has been assured that lunches on shift are free.

If I was the Manager and I heard that she'd been pushed into paying for her lunches when I had previously told her myself that they were free, then I would refund her myself.

I hope your DD can gather the confidence to stand up for herself in this situation - I have a DD the same age, and she finds confrontation incredibly hard as well. She recently needed to take a book back to a shop and exchange it, and she nearly bottled it entirely, but called me from outside the shop and I had to talk her through exactly what to say. To give her her due, she did do it in the end, but I think teens can find it very awkward, but it's an important skill to master or they'll always be taken advantage of! Best of luck to your DD.

neverendinglauaundry · 21/01/2023 21:22

dew141 · 21/01/2023 17:52

If it doesn't cause any issues with the deputy, I'd suggest she asks a fairly innocent question to the manager.

Along the lines of wanting to check the current policy on staff lunches as she was charged over Christmas and if this is the case going forward (which isn't a problem), she'll bring in lunch as she's trying to save up her wages.

This. It's hard doing this sort of thing when you're young but well worth plucking up the courage to politely ask. I wouldn't say boo to a goose when I was 15 and it did me no favours.

blubberyboo · 21/01/2023 21:28

Well this is easy to sort.

the next day the actual owner is working send her in with a packed lunch. The owner will see her eating it and ask her why she brought a lunch. She just innocently has to say “oh DM says I now have to pay so it’s cheaper for me to bring me own”

Stressfordays · 21/01/2023 21:34

Oh bless her, I still find situations like this awkward and I'm in my 30s. Maybe she could discreetly text her boss? Or just take a pack lunch when she knows the deputy manager is on shift.

Anotherselfemployedcleaner · 21/01/2023 21:36

blubberyboo · 21/01/2023 21:28

Well this is easy to sort.

the next day the actual owner is working send her in with a packed lunch. The owner will see her eating it and ask her why she brought a lunch. She just innocently has to say “oh DM says I now have to pay so it’s cheaper for me to bring me own”

This, was going to say what @pattihews said, but this would, I’m sure, be easier on your DD as she just has to answer a question rather than raise one.

But she does need to give the real reason when the owner asks her, not just fold and say that she prefers a packed lunch!

M103 · 21/01/2023 21:38

Agree that she should politely ask the question even if she feels somewhat uncomfortable. It's not just for the money. She needs to learn to stand up for herself. She may face more difficult situations later on in her working life, and she will be better equipped to deal with them if she starts standing up for herself now.

latetothefisting · 21/01/2023 21:45

I'd ask the manager, perhaps pretend she's not sure who will be managing next weekend or something. 'Can I just check with you for next weekend because while you always give me the free meal and drink, which I really appreciate by the way, DM says I have to pay for it when she's in charge. It's not a problem but I just need to know in advance so I will bring lunch in if she's covering because I can't afford to pay for it.'

I'd be suspicious DM is putting through a free meal and drink for your dd (and any other staff) and then keeping the £8 herself personally but that's me!

Original poster
TellMeTheTruthTheWholeTruth · 21/01/2023 21:55

Initially I was going to email the owner, but thought it may be best if I keep out of it and try to encourage my daughter to ask!

OP posts:
CrapBucket · 21/01/2023 22:02

blubberyboo · 21/01/2023 21:28

Well this is easy to sort.

the next day the actual owner is working send her in with a packed lunch. The owner will see her eating it and ask her why she brought a lunch. She just innocently has to say “oh DM says I now have to pay so it’s cheaper for me to bring me own”

Its easier to ASK. The manager might not see her eating a packed lunch, or might not ask about it. Cafés are busy workplaces without time for passively hoping someone asks a particular question of you.

MargotMoon · 21/01/2023 22:06

TellMeTheTruthTheWholeTruth · 21/01/2023 21:55

Initially I was going to email the owner, but thought it may be best if I keep out of it and try to encourage my daughter to ask!

Definitely - as tempting as it is (I would be itching to send that email!) your daughter needs to speak up and ask.

It's part of life, having to navigate workplace issues, and finding ways to ask such things in a polite but firm way is a crucial skill for the future!

blubberyboo · 21/01/2023 22:06

CrapBucket · 21/01/2023 22:02

Its easier to ASK. The manager might not see her eating a packed lunch, or might not ask about it. Cafés are busy workplaces without time for passively hoping someone asks a particular question of you.

Show quote history

It’s not easier to ask if she is not comfortable asking

Calmdown14 · 21/01/2023 22:49

I think the wording suggested by the previous poster is best.

Not a tell tale 'she didn't give me lunch question ' but a simple.
'sorry can I just check what the rules are? I don't mind bringing in a packed lunch but just wasn't sure what was best'.

Don't think anyone could object to that. Perhaps someone before your daughter took the piss a bit with more expensive stuff and the deputy put her foot down

vanvanvroom · 21/01/2023 22:56

This has reminded me of a job I had as a teenager where if the till came up short at the end of a day the manager made us all split it between us and cover it from our wages so she didn’t have to tell the owner. I wouldn’t put up with it now but as a 15 year old I just took it so I don’t think it’s unusual at all that your daughter doesn’t want to say anything. Hope she finds the courage to thought. If she has the owner on text/ WhatsApp I’d be removed to send a message just asking if she should be paying for her lunch during her shift - but maybe I’m just still a wimp 😂

vanvanvroom · 21/01/2023 22:57

*though

Desertbarncat · 21/01/2023 22:58

She 100% needs to bring it to the owners attention. It’s probably easier to do that when the other manager is not present. You can come up with something ahead of time, practice it with her if she wants to. But 100% this is a big issue that needs to be clarified.