Wrong dog

[Fasthorses23]

I know, he's not a 'wrong dog' in fact he's an absolutely lovely wee boy but he's the wrong dog for his owners. He's a border collie and he's 2 , going on 3 so was bought in lockdown as a pup when said owners were at home all day. They live in a 2 bed semi with a small garden and are now back working full time. They probably want the majority of the dogs care to fall to me now. He's a lovely natured boy but has a lot of issues. He's very nervous, scared of loud noises, has IBS? So limited diet, no recall on walks, pulls when walking on the lead. At my home he pees in the bathrooms so we have to be vigilant about closing doors. He humps cushions and he's absolutely petrified of my grandchild who's 4 so cowers away in a corner ( I'm always in and out looking after and reassuring him) I absolutely 100% know that this is not the dogs fault but everyone keeps saying they shouldn't have bought a dog in lockdown blah blah. He's here now though so what should I do?

Who does the dog belong to then

You tell your neighbours that they need to find a professional dog walker & daily human companion for their dog.

You CANNOT have this poor animal anywhere near your grandchild. Collies are fast, & can be hair-trigger reactive. This collie is also nervous, & has not been trained to even a basic standard.

How did you come to be the dog's default carer? If it was because you found it too awkward to say "no", you are going to need to get over that. Give them a week's notice to search for paid help - they took the dog on without considering its needs when they returned to work, they need to fund some companionship & routine for him.

My son

You need to tell him that you can’t cope with the dog and there is an accident waiting to happen.

Thank you for replying.

Sorry OP - I'm getting tired & thought I'd read he was your neighbour's dog.

So your son bought a collie pup when he had a 1 or 2 year old child?
As a lockdown whim? What a prat. A collie is NOT a dog you want around small children. They need a hell of a lot of input & work in order to stay 'sane' ie well-balanced, content, non-neurotic.

The dog needs to find a new home, & your son needs a bloody good talking to. He taken on a dog he can't handle, & hasn't even been able to teach it not to pee indoors or pull on his lead. Small wonder the dog's nervous, he's not getting proper direction & leadership.

He really is a lovely boy and has never shown any aggression at all. I know that collies are working dogs and that he's bored and frustrated but what can I do? He's not my dog and they won't listen to me when I've offered suggestions ie. Dog agility I'm honestly out of ideas

Well your son and his partner found like irresponsible idiots.

what was their plan for the next 15 years?

fir you to clear up their mess for them? Fuck that

they need to get a proper force-free trainer and a dog walker and educate themselves properly about safe dog-child interactions before something dreadful happens
the dog needs mental and physical stimulation, affection, and a safe space in their house.

they need to manage this. Or they need to find him a home through a proper responsible breed rescue.

if they don’t their baby and/or dog could end up seriously hurt/dead and it would be an entirely predictable and preventable situation

I think you a clear conversation with them

Then don’t enable them. Don’t help with the dog unless they are willing to make some changes

they need to take proper responsibility, not dump him on you then ignore your concerns

Sorry just to clarify. My son and his wife bought the pup. They don't have any kids. Thanks for all your replies

I agree but that doesn't really help me does it . They're not going to do all that training

Thank you for your reply

If they won’t look after the dog properly and they won’t rehome him then I can’t see what you can do?

stop letting him come to your house - the reaction to the grandchildren is worrying - most aggression comes from fear, and he urinates inside.
don’t enable them. Just leave them to it

Ok so that poster gets a “thank you” - I get a “that doesn’t help me does it” for basically the same advice

Nice

Thanks for all your replies. I was asking for help and advice. He's not my dog 😀

I also don't know how to reply on Mumsnet x

As a minimum keep this dog well away from your grandchild, it shouldn’t even be put in a position where it can be “terrified” by a 4 year old. I wouldn’t even have them in the same room. The way your OP reads about you always popping in to reassure the dog sounds like you’ve left them in a room together but I really hope that’s not the case and I’m misreading it.

This is a people problem, not a dog problem.

There's two options:

1. They sort their shit out and provide a proper home for their dog and train him
2. They rehome the dog

This dog is definitely not safe around your grandchild, perhaps ever. You simply must put your grandchild first, which means you can no longer care for their dog - and it is not your responsibility to do so.

A very sad situation.

Thank you so much FUR and FEATHERS

I never leave them together. The dog is a nervous wreck around my gc so he always has a safe quiet space alone but he's not my dog and I don't know what to do

So ... your grandchild is from another of your children?
And when you are expected to dogsit, you sometimes have that grandchild at the same time?

You are going to have to refuse to do this in future. You CANNOT risk this, with a nervous, reactive, poorly trained & under-worked dog.

Sorry you are in this situation OP, it sounds very difficult.
I would tell your son the facts as you have laid them out here, and ask him to find a solution.
Hopefully he will come to the decision to rehome the dog, but I wouldn’t leap to suggest it yourself, as then it may be blamed on you.

Your DS won’t take any suggestions from you so you’re basically asking what you can do to make the dog happy while he’s in your care?

If so:
Stop having your grandson round when you have dog. If the dog’s terrified of him then you’re making the poor dog miserable.

Get a trainer and start training him. Give him lots of affection and plenty of exercise. Try and have him as much as possible, eventually your DS may let you keep him.

If your son won’t do it and won’t get the dog rehomed and you want the dog to be happy, you have to do what your son ought to.

The poor dog. They HAVE to put its welfare first. Their set up is totally unsuitable. They cannot both work full time away from home with a young Border Collie. I'm afraid I would absolutely have to have it out with them as they clearly don't understand that the dog is truly suffering here.

I have. Today I told them that his digestive problems and the fact that he's ripping their clothes to bits is probably down to him being bored. To be honest they don't get it. He's getting neutered in a few weeks. I fear that might make him worse