Wrong dog

[Fasthorses23]

I know, he's not a 'wrong dog' in fact he's an absolutely lovely wee boy but he's the wrong dog for his owners. He's a border collie and he's 2 , going on 3 so was bought in lockdown as a pup when said owners were at home all day. They live in a 2 bed semi with a small garden and are now back working full time. They probably want the majority of the dogs care to fall to me now. He's a lovely natured boy but has a lot of issues. He's very nervous, scared of loud noises, has IBS? So limited diet, no recall on walks, pulls when walking on the lead. At my home he pees in the bathrooms so we have to be vigilant about closing doors. He humps cushions and he's absolutely petrified of my grandchild who's 4 so cowers away in a corner ( I'm always in and out looking after and reassuring him) I absolutely 100% know that this is not the dogs fault but everyone keeps saying they shouldn't have bought a dog in lockdown blah blah. He's here now though so what should I do?

I know it's wrong but if the dog is not chipped I'd be tempted to say it got away from you on a walk, then give it to a responsible rehoming centre.

What do you think you should do Fasthorses23?

A family member of mine has a border collie, this is a dog that has plenty of exercise and the owners work from home. Even so, I would describe it as neurotic/anxious/highly strung and with a particular dislike of my children (noisy teenagers). Agree with others that they are not a family pet type dog.

What would happen if you refused to look after him OP - would your son still refuse to rehome him (which would be the best and kindest outcome)? I think you are going above and beyond having a destructive, anxious and unhousebroken dog in your home. If they insist on keeping him then they should be paying for daily dog walking and weekly training. There are lots of intelligent dog toys and this breed needs a purpose so some search training maybe? Like others have said I would not have this dog and your gc in the house at the same time.

If you really care about this dog, and it sounds like you do, you need to help him because he's living in fear and must be so stressed all the time. You need a good dog behaviourist to work with him, he could also benefit from medication to bring his stress levels down.

Collies are intelligent, working dogs that need lots of physical exercise and mental stimulation. I have a collie cross and, even at the age of nearly 15, she walks 1.5 hours a day with me and has plenty of stuff to occupy her mind. Do you have puzzle toys for the dog? Teach him tricks - my dog knows loads of tricks. Is he getting enough exercise? Collies generally love a ball. Get out in the garden with a tennis racquet and a ball and wear him out.

It breaks my heart that so many dogs were bought in lockdown on a whim and are now living miserable lives. Your son should hand ownership of the dog to you so that you can really put the work in with him that he needs. Good luck.

Refuse to be the dogminder, then they will have to rehome him which is the best outcome for the dog.

At that age he is still retrainable and he has at least another 12 years of life left. Don't let him spend it in misery.

They were very irresponsible to get a dog that's entirely unsuited to their lifestyle, as a temporary lockdown entertainment. You mean well, but your support enables their continued feckless and selfish behaviour, and the dog is suffering because you let this continue.

It is unlikely if they won't listen to you and they won't do the work that needs doing, that there is much you can make them do.

You may find that they will allow YOU to do the work - walk him, train him, have a behaviourist round (and I would do that before neutering it almost certainly WILL make his anxiety/fear worse as testosterone plays a huge part in confidence), take him to classes or activities when he is more capable of that (classes and sports like agility are NOT the solution to a fearful unhappy dog - fix the fear first, get him confident and THEN look at things like that).

Ultimately - if you don't step up (and I am not saying you should, or that you must, or that it is your responsibility, because it isn't, it is theirs!) then I doubt they will.

If you DO step up and take over, theres a really strong chance that whilst you meet his needs where and when you can, they still won't and will undermine and undo what you're doing and this could lead to an even more confused and unhappy dog.

Personally I would encourage them to return to the breeder (assuming they bought from a reputable breeder...) or find him a place in a collie specific rescue, but again... I doubt they would until something happens and their hands are forced.

Poor dog - he's lucky someone is looking out for him!

I’m guessing there must be times you have the dog but not your grandson with you. In addition to the advice from previous PPs, I would use that time to really try to get the dog socialised (both with other dogs and people), perhaps through training classes and things like walks in the park.

Stop looking after the dog when your grand daughter is in the house with you.
It’s that simple. She should be a higher priority than a dog

In the nicest possible way, I say this but I understand you also don't want the dog to suffer. BUT, all the time you are helping your son with the dog, he probably won't bother trying to change anything as he is still getting what he wants, doggy care. It's a catch 22 type situation. You are either going to be stuck in the same rut or have to put your foot down and say no (and feel bad about the poor dog as I know you, and I would too), but somethings got to give to make things happen.

How often do you have your GC? Maybe start gently and say you cannot have the dog whilst the GC is there but other times are ok for now. Meaning he will have to look for at least a part time alternative.

I feel for you as I am an animal lover and hate to see poor animals unhappy.

I'm sorry, I know you love the dog but this is simply the wrong set up for it. I've had border collies all through my childhood and teens - they are anxious, neurotic and permanently wired if not given the right kind of stimulation. These dogs are incredibly intelligent, they need good exercise and not just physically but mentally too. Lovely, lovely animals, but they are workers through and through and need engaging to be happy. This sounds like an accident waiting to happen with your GC. I'd strongly advise rehoming to a collie experienced home or a breed specific rescue centre.

As a Collie owner this makes me sad. Firstly they're one of the easiest dogs to train. So the fact he's not toilet trained demonstrates the absolute lack of any basic training. On the plus side, he's still young and with good training could be sorted.
Despite a lot of training my still pulls on lead when excited. And despite being fine around my kids, he gets wired if faced with little ones. Not agressive but in collie alert mode waiting to he told to round them up. He's the soppiest thing but I wouldn't trust him on his own.
I would encourage a re-home if poss. Mine has been the easiest dog but did require a lot of input in the early months and still high maintenance in terms of exercise/company and stimulation.

Why are you being so aggressive with posters who say you shouldn't have the dog in your home? You said your grandchild comes first but also insist you have to have the dog. You don't.

This is a dreadful situation for you.

Collies are the easiest dogs to train so there is absolutely no excuse for its behaviour. The fact that it is nervous is very worrying. Unfortunately I don't think your son should have a dog at all if he is so disinterested in training it. Collies need much more exercise than you are able to provide and need a lot of stimulation. This dog is suffering and with a GC to look after, I really don't think it should be down to you.

The dog is clearly very unhappy and therefore the best thing you can do for this collie is to re-home it.

Thank you for all your responses it's given me a lot to think about. It's a very upsetting situation and I'm sorry if I've come across as defensive or rude. to be clear the dog is very well loved and obedient with his owners, he takes the piss a bit with me on walks though with pulling and recall. He is never alone with gc.

I don’t understand it. I’ve lived on 1/4-1/2 acre block properties and they were waaay too small for a border collie, no way I would have considered one in that situation. They are a working farm dog.

Similarly, I once got another working breed (not border collie) when I was on a several acre property. While space was not the issue, there was no ‘work’ for them and while we loved each other, it didn’t work. I had a close family friend whose elderly and greatly loved working dog died and they had both the space and work mine needed so I ’gifted them’. While a temporary heartbreak for me (and likely my dog), it was a long term match made in heaven.

Stop letting them make this your problem. This dog should not be around your dgc at all.

You need to tell them that you can’t cope with the dog and they need to make other arrangements. When they are having to clean up the accidents and paying for doggy day care (who are unlikely to tolerate a dog with these issues) they will have to take action.