To be hurt by colleague?

[TheLostNights]

Been confiding in her a lot about difficult colleagues and she has always had my back.
There was a mix up where she expected me to be back from a work lunch at a certain time and I was not but I had told the other colleagues but they were not listening and were also wondering where I was. So she ended up leaving the office late. Then when I apologised by text she seemed a bit off and today has barely said a word to me and when I tried explaining what had happened, she didn't say anything, just sort of nodded and walked off. Aibu to say she should be talking to me if there is an issue and not behaving so sullen?

She sounds incredibly childish. Simple miscommunication.

Why does you coming back late from lunch mean she has to stay late?

I’d just let it blow over, it is a non event.

Maybe she’s just concentrating so she can get stuff done and leave as close to on time as possible.

“Been confiding in her a lot about difficult colleagues”

Is it possible you’ve been sounding off too much, and she’s trying to distance herself from it?

We work with vulnerable adults and needed to be in ratio @Iwrotethelyricstoaxlf

You’ve been bitching about other colleagues together. And you expect her to now act like an adult?

We haven't been bitching, I've just been confiding in her a lot about how bad they make me feel.
She was absolutely fine up until now.

So she is now someone else who has made you feel bad. Could there be a pattern here perhaps.

I do think you need to stop talking about colleagues behind their backs like that. It probably comes across as bitching.

Did you know what her finish time was?

I would just leave her to it now that you’ve apologised.

However, I don’t think you should be complaining to about other colleagues to her. Either they are small annoyances in which case talk to someone outside of work, or they are genuine issues and you should escalate to your manager

Be careful about confiding in work colleagues too much. Generally not a good idea IMO.

It’s only been a day. She’s just a bit pissed off - give it time to blow over.

I trust her so that's why I feel able to speak with her.
I did know when her finish time was but the others knew when I would be back and because they didn't listen to me, they thought I was back at the same time she did.

Did you know that being back late would mean she had to stay later? If so I would say it was your responsibility to make that clear to her. Most people would be pretty pissed off if they were waiting for someone to come back from lunch so they could finish their shift?

As I said, I had told the others so if they had listened, they would have relayed this back to her. It was their fault for not listening.

It’s not your colleagues’ fault, it’s yours. If you are giving important information you need to check it’s been understood.

You should have checked the colleague you told was listening. You can't just impart important information and hope someone is listening, you need to check.

[wonders why I am engaging in this really minor workplace issue on an anonymous internet forum]

But, even if they had listened and relayed info to her, you would still have been late back and she would, presumably, still have been late leaving.
Why were you late?

Yeah, I’d not be too pleased with you either if you were late and didn’t talk to me (the affected person) about it. As others have said telling the other coworkers is irrelevant. Because of she had to work late. The only difference is that if she had know from your coworkers she wouldn’t have been left wondering…she still would have been inconvenienced with little to no warning.

You apologized, she’s still annoyed, you need to get over it. She is allowed to be annoyed at you.

If you feel you have multiple difficult colleagues, and are now having difficulties with another perhaps it’s time to look inwards and consider if you are chasing some of these difficulties with other colleagues?

Why did you take your break then if you knew it would mean colleague had to stay late?

This reminds me of the time my colleagues forgot I had a GP appointment on a Friday morning. One of them still wasn't speaking to me on the Monday 🙄 Petty AF. Glad I don't work there now.

You probably should've told your colleague directly you going to be late, however she is a grown adult and should speak to you about it in an adult way if she is still put out by it.

I would also be wary of confiding too much in colleagues.