Cosmetic surgery DOES affect others

[EmmaDilemma5]

I'm sick of reading people who defend others cosmetic surgery/procedures with;

"it's their body, they can do as they please"

"Each to their own"

"If it makes them feel happier then what's the harm?"

The harm is, that it sets a ridiculous standard that most (usually young women) can't meet naturally and therefore feel pressured to undergo changes to their body to look "good".

It's not a personal decision, because collectively, it's impacting society norms and pressures on people.

I'm not talking about those that truly help people with abnormally different features. I totally get why someone with ears that grow out at 90° may want them pinned back. Or someone with a huge nose may want to reduce it to a more "normal" size. I still hope they'd feel fine in their own skin but get why the majority of people may struggle with largely unusual features.

But I am actually angry sometimes at those that "enhance" normal looks. Lip fillers, tattoo makeup on eyebrows, lips, boob jobs. It seems to me that the majority of women who have these procedures have very normal features before having them and it's just really sad that they feel they need to undergo them to feel ok.

Lip fillers are the worst for me. It's affordable and easy to arrange. I fear my daughter will grow up thinking her lips aren't big enough (if her parents' are anything to go by anyway) because every other person seems to have massive lips and to look beautiful she'll need to pump her face with crap.

When do we say, enough is enough, we don't want the next generation living like this?!

This kind of thread will always inspire defensiveness in those having cosmetic procedures and maybe some kind of resistance to it from those that don't.

Women can do whatever they want, of course, without justifying their decisions (although we are all role models in our own way to younger generations). It does boil down to personal taste, and how you wish to come across and your securities/insecurities real or imagined.

It needs to be a much safer, and more regulated industry in the same way any medical procedure is regulated - and with greater transparency and a regulator with some recourse if things go wrong. Thats probably the one thing we all agree on. Disfigurement is a thing, and very real concerns about leaking and implants in general and the affect on the body. Much more research also needs to be done so that there women and men can make an informed decision.

This kind of thread will always inspire defensiveness in those having cosmetic procedures

If that's what you want to call refutation of bullshit.

The illuminating white veneers are the worse.They look bloody awful!

That’s my point! I had this idea it was a temporary thing. She obviously tattooed the bloody things on and if I hadn’t queried the monstrosity she first came up with I’d have had further expense trying to rid myself of the mess.

Those poor sods with Turkey Teeth are just walking dentures in the future. I think it’s an absolute scandal and I’ve already said to my children that I’ll write them out the will if they trundle off abroad and get their teeth filed down.

I won't bombard everyone as I posted earlier but all I can say is I'm happy for people to do whatever they want but this craze for fillers, botox work is noticeable on ALL and it doesn't improve people's looks. Youngsters do it when they don't need it and it makes people look corpse-like - I don't want to sound unkind but this is an anonymous forum where we can feel safe to air our true opinions. Some plastic surgery, done by the right surgeons is fantastic as it's effective and subtle, totally different and they still look alive! Us non "filled-in" posters are just perplexed at the bizarre choices some people make about the most noticeable part of their bodies. It's really sad to see someone ruin their face. People need to really think it through before having it done, such a waste of money in most cases.

I totally agree with you x

I feel sorry for women who use Botox and lip fillers. It’s also an incredibly sexist phenomenon. But they probably tell themselves they are ‘empowered’. I just hope my daughter’s generation will rebel against this social pressure.

Plenty of us have told you what we feel about it. I don't think anyone used the word "empowered", but it's true there's more power in doing what we want rather than what you think we should want.

Don't feel sorry for us because we have minor, common cosmetic procedures. Feel sorry for us because people like you don't listen to anything we say and insist you know our minds better than we do.

I do think it should be better regulated, but although I wouldn't have anything done, just let those who do crack on! They mostly look ridiculous as do the little pointy face filter pictures on social media, some of them have such narrow jaws that if they were real, they wouldn't be able to eat anything wider than a pea!

I rather have a face full of Botox and be a lovely person who don’t spout vitriol against other women on the internet.

Agreed wholeheartedly. Jealousy is such an ugly trait.

We need more indirect social commentary on how ridiculous people look with most body modification. No one wants to be unkind to an individual. Yet sometimes it can start to feel like we are on our way to becoming District 1 in the Hunger Games.

‘Both of these things don’t change my actual appearance just make me feel a million times better so worth every penny.‘

This makes zero sense. You pay for cosmetic surgery that doesn’t change your appearance? You need a refund then.

People think they have ‘free choice’ about this. But they are being conditioned by society and modern expectations. Nobody is immune; we all make decisions based on external influences. In this case, sexist ones. Nobody can convince me that as many men as women are having lip fillers and botox (in the non-celeb world).

I can’t help it. I do feel genuinely sorry for woman who think they need to inject their skin and lips to feel good about themselves. I am not insulting the work done, or anyone’s appearance. But I think it’s a hell of a shame that women feel they need to do this to themselves. Especially under 40s. It’s an awful phenomenon.

What most of you need to grasp is that with the exception of lip fillers, if cosmetic work is done well then you won't even be able to tell.

and sometimes you can guess, but still recognise it’s done very well. Kate Middleton is a good example of Botox and fillers done very well. She doesn’t look ridiculous, does she?

It's a sad but true part of our society that women are more harshly judged than men and some people will take that to the extreme. Most of the young girls dealing with these unrealistic images will grow out of this trend in a few years. And something else will come along for the next generation. OP the best thing to do is talk to your daughter about this and the risks involved.

Long before plastic surgery was a thing women were under the influence of other trends, hairstyles, make up, weight loss. Women used to take dangerous slimming tablets (I think they were really methamphetamines or something ridiculous).
I agree that it's problematic - but I don't think banning things outright is the answer. There are many other harmful things that we tolerate in society - smoking, alcohol, obesity. People should be allowed to make choices for themselves, even if they are not great ones.

There's another thread on here today with someone complaining about her teeth, saying that because so many people have straight white teeth she feels bad about her natural teeth. Should we ban cosmetic dentistry because it makes people like her feel bad?

Thank you, but speaking for myself, your sympathy is entirely misplaced.
I'm a confident 53 year old, extremely happy with my life. I have a fulfilling job, a great network of friends, loving partner and family and a wide range of interests.
While it's not popular to say so, I also very much like my face and body and am more attractive now than I was when younger by some margin. So truly, there's nothing to pity here.
Unfortunately years of squinting at books and screens gave me deep 11s that make me look like I'm frowning at people. Weight loss took some volume from my cheeks and left me with a down turned mouth which makes me look sad in repose. Given I'm a happy, friendly person, I want my face to reflect that. A little botox and filler (cheeks) do the job.
I don't think they don't make me look younger or more beautiful, nor do they change my face to something it never was. I don't need or want that. I wouldn't be insecure or miserable without them either. I simply prefer my face to reflect how I feel.

You should feel sorry for us. Because like I said, no matter what we say, we still get the likes of you ignoring it completely, assigning totally different motivations and imagining it as something terrible ("do this to themselves") rather than the piddling thing it is, as anyone who's actually got experience of it will tell you.

Why not do it, if we're only going to be ignored and patronised by the ignorant anyway? At least we'll look good while it happens!

I like my Botox and filler. Sorry not sorry.

@Icantbelieveitsnotnutter you deliberately chose an over exaggerated photo. Well done you. Seriously how many people do you come across that look that way?

@itwasntmetho fully agree. Judgy spiteful bullshit

I have Botox. Have for years. By very carefully chosen practitioners. My forehead is beautifully smooth. Nothing weird about that. No crows feet. Nothing weird about that. I have liked after my skin and it is very good. So what.

It's about the means in my opinion. Jealousy over those of us that spend their money on ourselves and can easily afford to have such treatments.

It's like saying people shouldn't have expensive clothes or cars or live in expensive houses. Go on expensive holidays. Or have children all because it " sets an expectation " Ridiculous.

*looked after

Jealousy over those of us that spend their money on ourselves and can easily afford to have such treatments.

Sometimes. But a lot of the time, I think it's just that they think it's morally superior not to have certain treatments (for some reason it becomes evil once it's injected, even though piercings and tattoos are OK) and they're furious because we don't subscribe to that. And why would we, when it's bollocks? It's a minor skin treatment, not a bank robbery.

@ReneBumsWombats oh yes there's definitely the superior attitude. Funny thing is I know someone who would have everything done if they had the means to do it. But because she doesn't, she ridicules those that have treatment. So petty.

It's about personal choice. All the spiteful, venomous comments aimed at any woman who dares to choose what they want shows that these women are against other women. They do not believe in body autonomy. How incredibly sad.