Cosmetic surgery DOES affect others

[EmmaDilemma5]

I'm sick of reading people who defend others cosmetic surgery/procedures with;

"it's their body, they can do as they please"

"Each to their own"

"If it makes them feel happier then what's the harm?"

The harm is, that it sets a ridiculous standard that most (usually young women) can't meet naturally and therefore feel pressured to undergo changes to their body to look "good".

It's not a personal decision, because collectively, it's impacting society norms and pressures on people.

I'm not talking about those that truly help people with abnormally different features. I totally get why someone with ears that grow out at 90° may want them pinned back. Or someone with a huge nose may want to reduce it to a more "normal" size. I still hope they'd feel fine in their own skin but get why the majority of people may struggle with largely unusual features.

But I am actually angry sometimes at those that "enhance" normal looks. Lip fillers, tattoo makeup on eyebrows, lips, boob jobs. It seems to me that the majority of women who have these procedures have very normal features before having them and it's just really sad that they feel they need to undergo them to feel ok.

Lip fillers are the worst for me. It's affordable and easy to arrange. I fear my daughter will grow up thinking her lips aren't big enough (if her parents' are anything to go by anyway) because every other person seems to have massive lips and to look beautiful she'll need to pump her face with crap.

When do we say, enough is enough, we don't want the next generation living like this?!

Hey, how did you get my latest selfie?

So much judgement and just horrible comments on other women’s appearance. Mostly from posters clueless about cosmetic work, though see themselves as expert in (strange when they presumably have no interest in it).
I don’t see the posters who have work done spout off about how awful it is to see women with jowls, wrinkles, hooded eye lids and marionette lines.

Some procedures are very obvious. Some are very subtle.
Where procedures are subtle people typically don't notice. Women on this thread have explained this from their experience.
If you're insistent you can always tell, well good for you. But in the real world very few people go round staring at women's foreheads trying to detect microscopic signs of botox. In fact it seems to be a somewhat niche hobby of certain women without any experience of it.
In real life my chances of meeting someone so preoccupied with procedure spotting that instead of engaging with what I'm saying they're busy squinting at my forehead, are very slim.

If they can tell, they can tell. I'm very open about it anyway.

I always feel really sorry when I see women who have had work done. It rarely looks good and just a bit pathetic really. It does not in anyway make me think I want to jump on that bandwagon. I am not a vain person though, I guess for others all they care about is what they think they look like.

Women always think it looks subtle and and noone can tell. You are wrong.

Wow! And what colour is my hair?

How can you always tell when my own mum hasn’t noticed I have had work done? Believe me, she would comment if she knew!

That's because when women feel good in themselves they don't feel the need to be cunts.

Haha. Same!

Which begs the question if people don't even notice then what's the point of the treatment?

Because I am no longer self conscious about looking like I'm scowling all the time and I feel better.

Nobody is looking at me thinking "she had Botox". They're just looking at me and not thinking "she looks angry and tired and too young to have lines that deep".

Someone once asked, long before I first had Botox, if I'd had a facial because my skin was glowing. I hadn't, but it was nice to hear. It's not about a noticeable "change", it's about looking like the best version of you. And people do notice if you do or don't look tired and angry.

Although I admit, I don't know how people didn't notice the disappearance of my deep lines. I thought that was pretty obvious. I guess they didn't notice them as much as I did and perhaps they expected me to look like shit during the worst time of my life, then happier as time went on. Even without treatments, people do sometimes look significantly better or worse due to sleep, hydration, nutrition, weight change, all that.

I know plenty of women who have fillers and enhancements, and I have never heard them judge women who don't.

I know plenty of men who prefer a more natural look and are not fans of obvious enhancements.

The only cruel, vitriolic comments I ever hear are directed at women who have these procedures, and they are made by women who don't, and don't think anyone else should either.

I think it's fantastic that we live in a time where people - and my friend, who runs an aesthetics business tells me that 30% of her business is men - can correct features that make them feel insecure.

As if people should make decisions about their own body in case it encourages weak-minded individuals into unwisely doing the same. I guess piercings and tattoos should also be regulated. Adults should be able to take personal responsibilities for their decisions.

I think of it a bit like the “natural make up” trend. When people are really clever with make up (I am not!), they can create a fresh faced look which gives the illusion they are not wearing much make up when in fact they are. Botox makes me look really well. It’s also cost effective for me as I don’t spend money on expensive creams or make up.

Before I had botox people would regular ask me 'what's the matter?' 'Why are you looking like that at me?' 'Do you have a headache?' because my 11s made me look like I was constantly frowning. With botox, I don't look like that and people don't ask me those questions anymore.
So while people don't notice the presence of the botox they also don't notice the presence of a frown either. That's the point. For me at least.

I agree OP.

I sometimes look at my face and wonder about giving Botox a try.

How then however can I teach my daughter to love what she has? I would not want to set that precedent for her.

I dint mind if people can tell I’ve have Botox- why would I? It’s not a secret. I prefer my head to look smooth rather than lines and wrinkly even if it doesn’t move ‘naturally’. Why would I give a shit lol?
Theres so much anger and bitterness on this thread- my friends who don’t have any procedures done and are happy and confident would never be so bitchy about what others choose to do. There are some unresolved issues going on here for sure.

Oh please cut the crap about women who have cosmetic treatments are not only ridiculous- looking, we are also poor role models for our DDs.

I have a late teen DD. I have never discussed cosmetic treatments with her. Some softening of her mothers lines are not going to crush her confidence in herself.

I definitely think it’s based on confidence when it comes to our children and upbringing as opposed to society.
I have Botox and wouldn’t rule out other procedures- my adult daughter rolls her eyes and tells me it’s waste of money. She’s never had any of the trendy lip fillers or makeup tattooed despite most of her friends getting it. She’s really happy with how she looks.

It’s easy to roll your eyes at 25 though

@Swissmountains

I can see the most subtle Botox as can most people, as humans you can see something is ‘off’ with the face but may not be able to pinpoint what exactly.

I think it's really amusing that you seem to think that people who have had Botox either don't interact with others themselves or don't fall under the category of 'most humans'. I'm out there in the world just as you claim to be and I see badly done Botox and fillers, people who overdo them, people who have nothing done, and people where the work isn't discernible. What do you make of that?

This doesn't make sense to me. So as an adult woman you look at your face and think about trying Botox to improve it a bit.

Yet you don't want your daughter, when she's an adult woman, to look at her face and think about trying Botox to improve it a bit.

I think give your daughter the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure she'll be at least as smart and capable as you, and certainly clever enough to make her own decisions.

Besides which, how many of us make decisions about our appearance based on what our mum did? I watched my mum use Sun In and have bubble perms but they're not for me.

I can't see what's wrong with having microblading done on your eyebrows. How is that the same as everything else you mentioned OP? I have non-existent eyebrows, so have mine done in order to look and feel 'normal'. If I didn't have microblading done, then I would have to fill in my sparse eyebrows with makeup. I'm not hoping to apologise if you feel offended that I want to look like I have normal eyebrows OP.

I've had botox didn't hurt
Cured my awful headaches stopped me me frowning.
I've also had fillers no one noticed infact you wouldn't know. My lips were non existent before. It was very painful so won't be doing that again.
I'm loving the big bottom I have a natural large arse so I won't be sticking anything in there.
Each to their own
My kids don't know

It's my money my body my choice.
I look good not artificial just healthy.