To request WFH after Mat Leave ends

[Workdilemmahelp]

Hello, just want some thoughts & advice:

Before mat leave I was working in the office 5 days a week, in my final month of pregnancy I worked from home full time (was advised by HR due to working in healthcare/covid risk)

I am due to return to work in a few months and previously emailed in to see if I could WFH 3x a week, and office x2 due to nursery costs - I can only really afford to send DS twice a week. My mum is able to help look after DS on days I WFH, but cannot help full time as she also works mornings and late afternoons.

HR have said it is not fair on other staff and to work effectively I would need to be in the office more days than I WFH.

AIBU? What can I do?

You can't WFH with a baby around unless your other half or a nanny etc is there to look after baby. It would be vvvvvv unreasonable and rude of you. Work wants you to work....that's what they pay you for!

When exactly do you propose to work? 10-2 (or less if you need to drop off / collect from your mum’s) and then when? Your OP makes it sound line you plan on working while doing childcare the rest of the time, if it is the case YABVU.

i don’t think your employer is being unreasonable here, we have a flexible working policy but it states we must be in the office more days than we are at home so effectively 3 in office 2 at home if full time and also very strict on wfh not being childcare.

Whilst I understand your are doing childcare whilst working from home, if you have not explained it properly in your request they may being jumping to the wrong conclusion.

at the end of the day, wfh is a privilege not a right - yes a lot of us ever asked to do it during the pandemic but doesn’t mean it we can still do it now.

So how did you pitch the hours that you intend to work during the day, so the hours that your DM is available will be made up how?

*isn't

Anyone whose had a baby knows if the baby is in the same house , you will not be working 100%, even though you say you will. Your plan might have been that mum will mind him 5 days per week but she obviously has other ideas.

You can't be looking after your child when you are at work (even if you are working from home)!! If you are only just returning from mat leave this is a 1 year old max you are talking about, you aren't leaving them sat downstairs on the sofa alone, you are watching them like a hawk to make sure they don't put something in their mouth/climb/injure themselves. You've effectively asked work to pay you so you can sit at home looking after your child 😆. I wfh with a 1 year old, my parents look after him 7.30am-5.15pm 4 days a week. There's no point in the day I take 3 hours out to look after him! I'm not surprised your work have refused this, people like you are the reason many work places say no to wfh.

I have to ! My boss doesn’t know. I feel dreadful but there’s no choice.

during pregnancy I slowed down what I was getting done really gradually so that I was never working to full potential yet still working to an average level so that once I was going to be returning after mat leave they only expected so much. I’m reality what I’m doing is now going at a pace where I can work and get the amount done they have come to expect from me and also look after ds and not need to send him to nursery.
Any meetings and dh looks after ds as his work is quite flexible

Absolutely.

I enjoy WFH because i don’t have the commute and therefore can collect my kids later from childcare, but it’s totally unrealistic and UR to expect to WFH so you can look after your baby. Working and parenting are not compatible in the main.

But you can only do 4 hours from 10-2, when are you going to do the other 3.5 possibly more hours depending on your contract?
Work 8pm to midnight every night??
Its just not realistic to make up that many hours.

You can ask but they don't need to agree. I think some people have become a bit entitled and think they should be able to work how and when they want because of covid, when actually business needs are still pretty important!

If an employee asked me if they could have a a regular WFH arrangement so they could look after their child, the answer would be no. Work time is for working, not childcare, and you can't expect a full time salary if you're spending part of those hours looking after your child. It's either you reduce your hours (and pay) to look after your child or you put them in childcare. In lockdown it was different as employees had no choice but to have their children at home. That's not the case now.

God help you if they find out. It would be gross misconduct in my job. Would you have considered it a possibility pre-pandemic? You're taking the piss.

I doubt that you would WFH effectively leaving your mother to get on with it and not stepping in at any point. When covid began I had to WFH for 16 weeks, my children were 17 and 19 and kept interrupting me and they’re self sufficient. WFH to save £££ when your child is there won’t work.

another employee works 9am - 2:30pm (so she can do school run) and is allowed to make up her hours in the evening at home. So why am I not allowed?

You said in your OP that their reason was that you need to be in the office more. Did you set out your proposed hours (evening, early morning) when you put in your request?

I can’t see how as my boss is more than happy with my work !

I WFH full time and these posts give me the rage because I actually “work” from home. Yes I can walk my dog at lunchtime and collect my DS from secondary school which is 2 mins down the road but for the rest of the time I’m flat out. There is no way you could reasonably do your job with a baby in the house in my humble opinion.

We are doing what we have to do to survive financially and with our family circumstances

so you’re a mediocre mum and a mediocre employee? Nice!
what’s the plan when your child is 2? 3? School holidays with a 7 year old? You’ll just keep taking the piss? And when your employer finds out, which they will, you’ll be sacked and they’ll never hire another woman with kids again because they won’t trust them not to be a pisstaker? Fabulous

I’m sorry op but I also don’t understand how you can both care for an infant and work full time . I understand why you’re asking, but you must be able to see your request is different to your colleagues , you aren’t asking to work compressed hours to do the school run you’re asking to be able to stay home and care for your kid.

Dishonesty and you admitted yourself you wound down your output so as to be able to do it, so they are paying you the same £ for less. Stop trying to justify it, you're a chancer...

At 3 ds will have 15 hours at pre school

It's completely unreasonable to request wfh if you'll be looking after your one year old for a significant part of that time. Because you won't be doing any work. Wfh if you have childcare for the whole time is different. I'm amazed people think this is ok to be honest. Wfh is not for doing childcare.