To request WFH after Mat Leave ends

[Workdilemmahelp]

Hello, just want some thoughts & advice:

Before mat leave I was working in the office 5 days a week, in my final month of pregnancy I worked from home full time (was advised by HR due to working in healthcare/covid risk)

I am due to return to work in a few months and previously emailed in to see if I could WFH 3x a week, and office x2 due to nursery costs - I can only really afford to send DS twice a week. My mum is able to help look after DS on days I WFH, but cannot help full time as she also works mornings and late afternoons.

HR have said it is not fair on other staff and to work effectively I would need to be in the office more days than I WFH.

AIBU? What can I do?

Sorry but I also think your request is taking the piss. Wfh makes the world of difference to working parents but for that age child you have to have proper childcare in place. It is not safe to be working while in charge of babies and toddlers (as many of us will confirm due to awful lockdown experiences). Your proposal just isn’t viable and I’d turn it down as well. With an older child who wil just watch tv and amuse themselves it is fine but what would you do if your baby needed a nappy change while on a call, was doing something dangerous or just wanted a cuddle. If your child knows you’re at home they’ll be wanting you even if your mum is there. This is something you will just need to rethink.

It would be a refusal from me as you can’t be working and caring for a baby at the same time. Sorry but your childcare costs are not your works issue

Thank you for explaining what I’ve obviously failed to do.
I can work anytime, so can make up hours, catch up with things in the evening etc - it’s not a set 9-5 job.

also, another employee works 9am - 2:30pm (so she can do school run) and is allowed to make up her hours in the evening at home. So why am I not allowed?

I don’t blame work for denying you WFH. I would do the same. You can’t WFH with a baby it’s just not possible. You either need to compress your hours / drop hours or pay for nursery. It’s quite cheeky really to think you can WFH whilst also looking after a baby / you can’t really think that’s appropriate.

Unfortunately as others have said, only real option is to request reduced hours for those days.

Could baby’s dad split the decrease so you each reduce your hours slightly rather than you taking all the reduction?

Theres no way you’ll be able to WFH while doing childcare, and you could soon find yourself out of a job if you tried.

If it’s purely financial check you’re claiming all you’re entitled to, UC may be able to help with childcare costs

What are the exact hours you are planning on the days your mum is looking after your child?

Are these working hours inclusive of traveling to and from work....or will that be additional time added?

You didn’t say that, just that you wanted to WFH those days because of childcare. Sounds like you could request to do office hours around your mum and make up the time as colleague does.

Although just because is been granted for her doesn’t mean it definitely will be for you.

Yes - if you could offer your mum some pay for taking care of your child, maybe she'd drop the job.

And just because they have allowed your colleague it doesn't meant they have to approve your flexible working request

The thing about flex working requests is that they have to work for the business as well as you. For example, we have lots of people on compressed hours but new requests for a Fri/Mon to be a non working day are being refused as lots of people have that already.

The reason for the request really doesn't matter. What were your mitigations to show there was no impact to the business? What was their actual reason for saying no? Can you comprise a little?

Unless the 9:00-2:30 person is the same role wfh you won't be able to cite it in support. In fact it may work against you since there is already less cover in the afternoons.

Will you working from home more reduce others opportunities to work from home? Unfortunately if they've said no I don't think there's much you can do. Have you looked if you are eligible for tax free childcare or if there are any cheaper childcare options? Otherwise reduce hours so you can go in when your mother has baby?

I’m always 😳 when people breezily explain that they can ‘only afford’ childcare for a couple of days of their working week, as if it’s what people feel comfortable paying that determines how much childcare they use 🤣

Childcare cover needs to match working hours. People don’t pay for more than they need for fun! Yes it’s bloody expensive, yes it takes sacrifice and insane budgeting for most families to pay. But they do, because it’s a prerequisite of having a job not an optional bonus!! If you can’t make the sums work with full time childcare then you can’t work full time. It’s that simple.

Because her child is of school age and she won’t be home alone with a baby when working. Sounds like your work don’t want you working at home more than half the time so you’re going to have to do 3 days at office at very least by sounds of it. Flexible working doesn’t have to be approved if it doesn’t work for the business. Can you drop hours? Guess it’s that or find the cash for a 3rd day, or look at childminders which is cheaper than nursery

No, im sorry, and people taking the piss thinking they can work and look after kids at the same time makes it harder for all mums to find understanding employers. You need to pay for childcare or quit your job. Simple as that.

I'm not sure what job you have/what field you are in. But I think it highly unrealistic to expect to work as usual while caring for a pre-school child, for any portion of your working hours. If you are working, you need adequate childcare provision whether you are at home or at an office.

Honestly you can't WFH with a baby ..it's impossible

Does she do her 9.0-2.30 at home?

Is this for real ?

Are you honestly going to log back on and do four hours more work on each of those three days after your baby is in bed? Really?

There's no way you will be working your contracted hours under this arrangement, not without killing yourself with exhaustion, and I’d say no if I were your manager too. ‘Arrangements’ like this are what scupper wfh opportunities for genuine hard working employees with proper childcare in place, because the upshot is no one is trusted.

It's Work from Home not look after the baby and do a little bit of work when you can from home. You either need to go PT, compress your hours or quit and find another job. I finish ML soon and posts like this piss me off because women with children already face so much prejudice from employers because they assume we are not as 'focused' as men and crap like this proves those people right! Part of choosing to have a family is working out childcare, that's what you need to do, not half arse your job. Cheeky mare.

Another employee works 9am - 2:30pm (so she can do school run) and is allowed to make up her hours in the evening at home. So why am I not allowed?

Impossible to say without being there, OP - it may be that the balance of those in/out of the place no longer works if too many WFH, or they could be making decisions based on individuals' own productivity/value to the company, or any number of other reasons

The bottom line though is that you're perfectly entitled to ask and they're equally entitled to say no - and since that's what they've done the next decision has to be yours

Is she in the office the hours that her children are at school and make up the rest in the evening?