To request WFH after Mat Leave ends

[Workdilemmahelp]

Hello, just want some thoughts & advice:

Before mat leave I was working in the office 5 days a week, in my final month of pregnancy I worked from home full time (was advised by HR due to working in healthcare/covid risk)

I am due to return to work in a few months and previously emailed in to see if I could WFH 3x a week, and office x2 due to nursery costs - I can only really afford to send DS twice a week. My mum is able to help look after DS on days I WFH, but cannot help full time as she also works mornings and late afternoons.

HR have said it is not fair on other staff and to work effectively I would need to be in the office more days than I WFH.

AIBU? What can I do?

I WFH I day a week with my 1 year old (WFH full time but have her here one day) my manager is supportive because of cost and I’ve been there a long time and make up the hours in the evenings over the week but 3 days a week even with your mum doing some I’m not surprised they are saying no and your request does seem unreasonable…..

What a load of bollocks.

If your mum can only do 10.00 till 2.00 but you are working F/T and expect to be paid for F/T, why should your work agree to this? In reality, you are not offering them a reasonable deal in return for a F/T salary. What if you offer to go down to 4 days over 5, go into the office 2 days, work 12 hours with your Mum’s help, and then find a way via compressed hours to make up the other 2 hours?

I wouldn’t be happy (as a manager) with that set up for your WFH days,
sounds very disruptive to your work day. You should reduce your hours if you aren’t able to pay for full day childcare

I think what you’re saying sounds reasonable and doable, but I don’t think you should mention your child as part of your reasons to work from home. Ultimately you successfully worked from home while pregnant so that should be justification enough that you can do it.

how you then manage your time whilst your child is there is up to you. I say this speaking from personal experience as I work from home and look after my baby 2 days a week.

if I was you I’d look for another role job flexibility is so important and I would never take another job that wasn’t working from home at least 3 days a week I think the older generation struggle to understand people want a healthier work life balance

YABU you cannot WFH with a baby!! You would be neglecting the baby while you work or neglecting work while you look after baby. Very bad idea. Working at home you should be 100% available to actually work.

Do you have a partner? Are you saying that both your combined salaries don't cover childcare costs?

your Not being unreasonable but your company could atleast meet you half way. I went back to work after my second lot of may leave (previously wfh 3 days a week due to covid) I was in the office 3 days a week part time hours and it was an absolute nightmare with the travel and childcare it honestly left me coming home crying every night it was so stressful. I requested to wfh 2 days a week and office 1 day and luckily they agreed and I changed my hours to work around childminder for my baby and school drop off. If they denied it I was going to put in a formal request which by law they have to review and give you a suitable reason it wouldn’t work (which is actually really hard for them to do). Look on citizens advice website it’s all there. Even if you compromised and reduced your days or even days wfh / in the office

Also wfh with a baby is a massive no so I can see their issue and why they said no. It’s impossible. You could ensure them you have childcare covered for the days your home…

Op your colleague who finishes at 2:30 to do the school run and makes up hours is a very different situation! I do this but difference is you can give a school aged child a snack and pop the TV on and they can amuse themselves and they also I presume sleep through the night. A baby literally needs constant care day and night and making up hours would be really hard, you could end up exhausted.

I WFH three days a week (2 days in the office) and two of those days I have my 1 year old with me. Its completely do able as long as your company is OK with it. I'm lucky and my employer supports me.

@Parkerfamilylife so if you work 8 hours a day are you always available for calls & meetings and without a one year old crying in the background. I doubt very much it is doable 1 year olds are still pretty needy.

Yes I am always available for meetings. She come onto Teams calls with me and everything. In my job I don't make or receive external calls, so that's not an issue. It all depends on the job you have. I am very lucky that she is an 'easy' baby. If she wasn't, then maybe it wouldn't work as well.
It all depends on you, your employer, your situation, you job and your baby.

You need to find childcare then!

you can’t work from home and look after your child at that age. Somethings got to give. I’d find alternative employment or look at asking your partner to drop hours if that’s more financially viable than you doing so?

You take your 1yo into the office?

Piss taker? What for? Asking to do a job from home that she has already demonstrated she can? To work the flexible hours like the OP indicates she can do within her role? The OP is working within the NHS, she already is highly likely to be underpaid before adding extortionate child care fees on top. Just because others suck it up doesn’t mean that the refusal shouldn’t be challenged.

She asked for 3 days WFH. They've said she can WFH for 2.

What option would you suggest would be appropriate for "meeting [her] half way"?

Where does OP say she's working for the NHS?

No 🤦🏻‍♀️. Out of the three days I WFH, 2 of those days I have by 12 month old.

She come onto Teams calls with me and everything

This is really inappropriate. It was tolerated during lockdowns but there’s no excuse now. You wouldn’t bring her into the office and have her on your lap during meetings - this is no different.

I will guarantee that your colleagues do not think your baby is sweet and cute.
They just find it annoying.
But are too polite to say anything
(people's dogs/cats are bad enough).

if she's an easy baby then she will sit happily somewhere else when you are on your Teams call and no one will notice.

Which do you neglect, your work or your baby?

That is so unprofessional and irritating for your colleagues.

of course you’re being unreasonable you can’t work whilst looking after a baby/toddler! It wouldn’t be fair on your child or your employer!

Just to add something to this - during the pandemic I worked from home 3 x 8.5 hour shifts a week with a two year old. After 2/3 weeks (6-9 shifts) I had a mental breakdown and went on the sick. Young children cannot possibly understand that you need to work, and my previous employer did not understand that I had no childcare available and were horrible to me about having her home (March 2020 in total lockdown).

I have since found an employer that allows me to do school run, WFH 3-4 days / 5, rest in office, and on the very odd occasion my MIL or mum are on holiday, my now 5 year old stays at home with me after school until I finish work.

Not the best thing to do but I make her a snack and stick her on her iPad on those very odd occasions. School holidays are a no-no, if I don’t have family childcare I need to use annual leave around school holiday clubs. Honest to god, it isn’t worth your sanity. It’s only for a year or two then you’ll be entitled to free hours in UK age 3.