To request WFH after Mat Leave ends

[Workdilemmahelp]

Hello, just want some thoughts & advice:

Before mat leave I was working in the office 5 days a week, in my final month of pregnancy I worked from home full time (was advised by HR due to working in healthcare/covid risk)

I am due to return to work in a few months and previously emailed in to see if I could WFH 3x a week, and office x2 due to nursery costs - I can only really afford to send DS twice a week. My mum is able to help look after DS on days I WFH, but cannot help full time as she also works mornings and late afternoons.

HR have said it is not fair on other staff and to work effectively I would need to be in the office more days than I WFH.

AIBU? What can I do?

I'm unsure what you mean by saving on childcare costs. Do you work 10 to 2? Or do you work full days? Are you proposing you will be looking after your baby during working hours? Of course that's not on!
Could you work longer days but less of them? Unless you work incredibly short hours your mums offer of 10 to 2 doesn't help much because most nurseries offer morning and/or afternoon slots not straddling lunch. You'd be billed for the whole day.
I'm assuming (as you haven't mentioned it) that your partners life with continue much as it was.

I am wondering what the OP's mother thinks of all this.
Maybe she won't be so keen to look after the baby three days a week, sandwiched in between her other job. She'll be exhausted.

I doubt if the OP is intending to pay her mother for childcare.
OP this is a ridiculous situation, which you should have foreseen.

Your employer has refused this and rightly so.

I worry that people attempting to work from home and combine childcare while deceiving their employer will ultimately affect the employment prospects of all working women of childbearing age.

have you asked them this?

If they’re saying it’s not fair for others in the office then fair enough. But why be flexible for one employee and not others?

As long as it actually works for you and your role within the department I can’t see what the problem is other than insisting on ‘presenteeism’ 🤷‍♀️

You've already requested and been turned down.

That’s fuck all to do with you though, it’s between OP and her mum, who has said she can do it. The issue is with the employer, not the arrangements between family.

Beak out beaky gets deleted. 😂

I think the people who are going to 'ruin' WFH are those who can't because of their specific jobs and so think no one else should be able to either...(instead of working towards a job with more autonomy and flexibility themselves if its so important to them).

Also very strange that people on the internet care so much about how hard a stranger is working in an unknown job....lots of people do the bare minimum if its terrible pay, a terrible company, a bully for a boss, a fairly pointless job etc. Young people even have a name for it - 'quiet quitting'.

You might want to do some self reflection before you start calling other people 'crazies'. You're name is all over these boards acting.. well, yikes. And that AS is... woof, popcorn worthy.

Your taking the piss. Get a new job

I would ask for WFH reduced hours the days your mum is there and then do full days in the office when baby is in childcare. Your boss has probably said no because you are taking the piss with your original request.

I'm sorry but WFH is not a solution to childcare issues. WFH is what it says. You WORK from home. You cannot do that with a baby there. I WFH full time and my dd has childcare before and after school so I can work. You need to sort appropriate childcare.

Blah blah blah blah

Oh, the wit.

Probably because she's a pisstaker and they know it 🤷‍♀️

@BabyOnBoard90 is everything ok, your posts are getting more and more bizarre...

It's quite clear that a lot of parents want to have their cake and eat it.

Wfh is quite a recent privilege. A lot of employers are worried because we are currently in an employees' market and are accommodating some wfh privileges.

What I find bizarre is how many people are kicking off and demanding to work from home , as if it's their right, whilst caring for children, walking their Covid-purchased dogs and filling up pubs at lunchtimes! ( don't get me started on that one!)

My husband and I work from home and we don't use childcare. Well, our 3 year old uses her free hours but other than that her and our 2 year old are at home. It works well for us, personally. We both only have one work check in a day each and other than that we are left to it.

Someone must be caring for your children, either you or your husband.
Or do they sit and play together for hours on end?
Or you're not both working full time.

We don't have the kind of jobs where we are working constantly. A lot of our job is thinking and mulling over stuff or (in my case specifically) waiting for code to run or models to train. It is very rare both of us are busy at the exact same time, so one of us is always on kid duty if the other one needs to do a work call, or some actual work at the laptop for a bit. We actually spend a lot of the day just hanging out as a family really. Doing school runs for the older children together, going out for lunch etc. We are both full time workers and our line managers are fully aware of our work patterns. We both are fully flexible, fully remote, unlimited holidays etc that kind of a role so as I said this set up works amazing for us as we save a fortune on child care and gets loads of family time and no commute.

I think your role is an exception, there’s really not many jobs like that.

Yes, it would have been useful to have been a bit more open in your first response. You must see that your set up isn't going to work for the OP.

We don't have the kind of jobs where we are working constantly

so one of us is always on kid duty if the other one needs to do a work call, or some actual work at the laptop for a bit.

We actually spend a lot of the day just hanging out as a family really.

Doing school runs for the older children together, going out for lunch etc.

How on earth can you say all of these sentences, and then, in the same breath, say

We are both full time workers

When clearly all of those statements are completely contrary to what happens when people work full time.

I am aware that all jobs are different, and good luck to you if you have found a fool employer who is willing to pay you a full salary for doing a fraction of full time hours, then I am sure many of us would take the job too, but you can't seriously claim that is "working full time"

can you get me one of these jobs