To request WFH after Mat Leave ends

[Workdilemmahelp]

Hello, just want some thoughts & advice:

Before mat leave I was working in the office 5 days a week, in my final month of pregnancy I worked from home full time (was advised by HR due to working in healthcare/covid risk)

I am due to return to work in a few months and previously emailed in to see if I could WFH 3x a week, and office x2 due to nursery costs - I can only really afford to send DS twice a week. My mum is able to help look after DS on days I WFH, but cannot help full time as she also works mornings and late afternoons.

HR have said it is not fair on other staff and to work effectively I would need to be in the office more days than I WFH.

AIBU? What can I do?

YABU and taking the piss (or attempting too) it is one thing to be in an established role and nip out to collect for children who can be left unsupervised- another entirely to do what you are suggesting

Look for something else but those flexi hours will be tricky to find.

I think your request is unreasonable but I would have also requested it. Don’t ask, don’t get.

This. It’s hard enough with a six year old. It will never work, especially when your child hits the toddler stage. It will be here sooner than you think!

This doesn’t make any sense, you can’t wfh with a baby! If your Mum is offering to provide free childcare for you (very lucky) why can’t you go to work?

OP and people like her are piss takers, and definitely give others mothers a bad name. I put most of it on the Managers who let these shitty people get away with it. All that happens is the work gets put back onto someone else in the team. Most people who work from home, actually work. She's probably someone who slacks off in the office as well.

just go part time-did yu honestly not work this out before you had a baby

what dd you think would happen

You can’t work from home with a baby around. That’s never going to work. Not even between 9-10 and 2-5. Those are meant to be proper productive hours of the day, not juggling a baby and answering the odd email.

If you want to be paid for full time hours you need childcare for full time hours imo

I don’t even think looking after primary aged children whilst wfh really works tbh. Ok in the odd emergency (for junior ages) but not as a matter of routine.

This. Seriously OP, sort yourself out

Yeah I don’t think people who take the piss when they have a kid were the type to be working hard previously. You either have a work ethic or you don’t.

I think it would be interesting to hear the perspective of the coworkers and boss of the PP who is lying about her child being at home whilst she ‘works’ but who is still producing perfectly good work and everyone is happy…….

Probably delusional 🤣 bet everyone knows and they're just trying to find a way to get rid of her. Everyone always knows when someone is taking the piss, these people probably don't recognise it because it's always them! I don't think someone would really be like that after a baby, I agree with you, you either have a work ethics or you don't

Not to mention even worse, it's not fair on the child. Sorry to go on but this really makes me furious having worked with so many people like this in the past. They're the ultimate CF

This topic always brings out the judgemental crazies.

Do as you please OP, don't seek validation from strangers on the net.

How can you efficiently work from home whilst looking after a baby ? I can see why your company will not allow this.

You would not be working all of your contracted hours. If your Mum was working who would be looking after your baby? If you were planning on caring for baby you would be cheating your employer who expects you to work all of your contracted hours. Your child will need to go to nursery if you intend to work full time. You must have planned childcare when on mat leave for when you are back to work full time. My dh WFH most days but he logs on at 9 am and works solidly until 12.30pm. I take him up a coffee at about 11. I open door, place coffee on desk and leave so as not to disturb him. We chat at lunch time then he logs back on at 1.30 until 5. Apart from using bathroom he works solidly. You could not do that with a baby to care for. It might be appropriate for a day or 2 if baby can't go to nursery as has a cold and your Mum can do most care. You maybe could catch up missed hours in evening.

I wouldn’t agree to you working at home. You are clearly intending to take the piss and it is people like you that give mothers and indeed people that work from home properly a bad name.

You have misunderstood something. OP cannot do as she pleases because her employer won’t allow it. And majority of people responding, understand exactly why not, because OP is a workshy CF.

So you work while your partner looks after your child, and he works while you look after your child?
You don't try and work while you are in sole charge of a small child.

Your colleagues popping out to pick up children? They are making up the time later.

The issue here is that OP is intending to count the time when she is looking after her child as work time. That's the bit that people are getting judgemental about. It's simply not possible to do these 2 things at once to the same standard as you would if you were only doing one of them.

Would your employer be happy with your arrangement if you didn't have your partner there to swap childcare between?
Would they be happy if the "popping out to pick up children" simply then stopped work and didn't make up the time?
I'm guessing not so much ...

Her employer said no, so she can't do as she pleases.

It's right there in the OP.

Sadly WFH is not a substitute for childcare. You can request flexible working but you employers have every right to say no if they think it’ll negatively affect your work. You can’t work properly & properly look after a child at the same time. I understand you saying your mum will be there a chunk of the day but there is still parts of the day you will be looking after yo child. You may have to look at alternatives or another job

Can't help but think this should have been thought of before the baby arrived ...

I have put you are unreasonable as you expect to look after a baby/toddler and work at the same time. That will not happen.
I have an 8 yr old and 16 yr old . I can now work if even the 8 yr old is alone with me but she has strict instructions when not to interrupt and can look after herself knowing I am here. A baby/toddler takes up all if your time in looking after them.

I wfh most days and have an arrangement that I have a late lunch to do the school run. Work have seen this does not negatively affect my work tho.

That's not working while looking after a small child, it's a scheduled break time.

If it helps, my employer has a remote working policy which clearly states that remote working is not a substitute for childcare and employees are expected to have appropriate childcare arrangements in place. And that it will be a disciplinary matter if an employee is found to be in breach of the policy without previous discussion with a manager (i.e. a manager can make a temporary exception to the policy if an employee has a childcare emergency - eg a nanny/childminder is unwell etc).

My DH’s work has a similar policy and everyone I’ve ever discussed this with has said their employer has something similar.

To be fair it sounds like the original plan was for OP’s mum to look after her son all day, but then OP’s mum got a new job. Possibly because the cost of living has increased so sharply since OP got pregnant.