To be envious of my cousin's youthful looks?

[MinnieSmall]

I attended a wedding the other week and was sat next to my older cousin. I am mid 30s she is 10 years older. Since my late 20s early 30s my skin has developed a lot of dryness, fine lines and now wrinkles. I also have sagging round my eyes. I have a lot of grey in my dark hair and dye it to colour it but despite deep conditioning treatments and olaplex my hair is dull and dry. Her hair was long dark thick and glossy.

I was sitting very close to her and in good light and she had literally no wrinkles or even fine lines. Her face was very smooth and glowy and young looking. My skin is dry and I have lines all over my forehead, round my eyes, lips mouth, cheeks. My lip lines are very deep and I hate them as I never smoked. I was beautiful in my 20s but my skin has shrivelled in recent years. I did ask her her skincare but most of it seemed to be prevention so sun screen, tretinoin for decades, so sun, no alcohol etc. She never wears make up but a has such lovely skin she doesn't need it. She genuinely looks younger than me as does her mum who is 70 and also has lovely line free skin and looks decades younger so genes do play a part.

Am I unreasonable to envy her?

I don't wear makeup most days, I use Tret and Spf, it's the quickest routine ever. At mid thirties you're still a good age to start! I think I was 28 when I started Retinol, I'm 33 now, I think this is the age people start to pay a bit more attention.

I'm a big fan of Dermatica always had a good experience, I alternate 0.05 and 0.1 most nights. But I spend a lot of effort on hydrating products as glowy skin looks much younger

I still get I'D for matches so I must be doing okay 😂

If anyone wants to try it here is a code. I will get £5 off if you use. Full transparency

www.dermatica.co.uk/referrer/Y2K0NE

My skin purges on retin a regularly so I look reptilian 50% of the time and goddess the other.

YANBU. I only started wearing sunscreen at 28 😢 wish I’d started earlier

I’d recommend an LED mask like omnilux. It is amazing and has worked wonders for my skin.

Or some of us chose not to yield to social conventions and peer pressure when we don’t actually like alcohol and wearing SPF is more about protecting the largest organ in our body from damage and risks of skin cancer and not simply worrying about looking young.

It takes less than a minute to put on sunscreen and you’re supposed to wear it daily regardless of whether the sun is out or not due to UV rays. I had and have lots of fun without alcohol and spend a lot of time outdoors. My skincare routine with lip tint takes about 5 minutes start to finish.

I started thinking about my skin more when I moved to the UK and my skin was not happy with the climate in my mid 20s. My skin was sallowing and drying out due to the dampness and the humidity so had to completely change my skin routine and stumbled onto the Korean skincare method before it became mainstream which I still follow today.

She doesn’t sound like she has had a whole lot of fun tbh. Imagine worrying about daily spf and tret in your 20s. And avoiding sun and alcohol all those years… many of my best memories involve sun and/or alcohol! There’s more to life than looking young.

Slapping on sunscreen and tret takes about two minutes of your entire day, it’s really not difficult.

I'd like to know what all this means

Whilst you can't reverse the signs of ageing - not without surgery, anyway - you can save what you've got.

Hyaluronic or polyglutamic acid for hydration, everyday, twice a day
Vitamin C for brightening - everyday, once or twice a day
Retinol to try and reduce some of your lines, a couple of times a week
A decent moisturiser, everyday, twice a day
A decent cream mask, once a week
SPF 30 everyday, even indoors

Tret does really help
I've always worn SPF as I'm a redhead
I don't drink except for once a year and I've always avoided the sun
My skin looks pretty decent I think

I think some of it is genetic. I’m 56 now and have a handful of grey hairs and good skin. Minimal skincare routine. It’s just luck I think. I am overweight though!

To everyone saying “I avoid the sun” watch out for Vitamin D deficiency! I was feeling run down a few weeks ago, was tested for everything and came back as deficient. It can creep up on you without you realising.

One word. Genetics.

Which products can we find tretinoin( spelling) in please?

Yeah I had a level of 12
Took a high dose prescription for a bit and now take 4000 daily

I think tretinoin is prescription strength and probably quite strong to start on but lots of products in boots have retinol which is milder but still effective. Just google retinol serum or face cream.

1% of retinol is equivalent to prescription tretinoin - Inkey List retinol serum is a purse friendly option, as is the Ordinary. I'd also recommend Medik8, Sunday Riley, Drunk Elephant and Dr Denis Gross

Yeah same, below 12! I think loads of people probably have it but don’t get tested

@MinnieSmall No acne here thankfully! DHEA can cause spots if you take it when you don’t need it. It increases testerone/DHEA-S levels so you test before taking it and whilst taking it to ensure you are at the correct levels. Your friend clearly didn’t need it or took too much!

Think it's more down to genetics than foresight and SPFs. I am nearly 46 and have minimal wrinkles, certainly no 'deep' ones at all. I've always been a bit lax on the sunblock front and always have a deep tan in the summer even when recently I use them religiously. My Mum and Dad have both always been sun worshippers, always as brown as can be every summer and they both look way younger than their years too. We all enjoy alcohol although have never (my mum) or only occasionally smoked.

Also known as retinoic acid, tretinoin is about 20 times more potent than retinol. It's stronger because retinoic acid is a form of vitamin A that acts directly on the skin to boost cell renewal, turnover, and DNA damage repair.

Best to start with OTC Retinol I think or if you use Dermatica / skin and me they start you on 0.001 or 0.025 typically. I used Medik8 Crystal Retinol for a year before I moved to Tret

It's genetics. I drink a lot, don't bother with skincare or make up and mistaken for 19-20 despite being 37. Most of my family are the same.
It isn't all fun and games. Being spoken to like a child is no fun and leads to many awkward situations

Everyone has at least 1 good thing going for them. For your cousin, it may be her skin. I would have complimented her, but not gone down the spiral of comparison as it’s not beneficial for your mental health. Someone else being attractive doesn’t take anything away from you.

What cream do you find with spf50? Ive never found higher than 30 except actual sun cream.

Ive just moved to the Caribbean and for the 1st 4 months it was so humid that I couldn't wear face cream as it just slid off, even after a shower at 6am.....

Actual sun cream! A face one. You would struggle to apply enough of a moisturiser to get the coverage
I use this usually
https://www.lookfantastic.com/garnier-ambre-solaire-ultra-light-sensitive-sun-protection-face-fluid-spf50-40ml/12564736.html?affil=thggpsad&switchcurrency=GBP&shippingcountry=GB&thgppccampaign=71700000089950619&adtype=&productid=12564736&gbraid=0AAAAAD-fXir7gyszJOS5q-BY2Um60LfP1&gbraid=0AAAAAD-fXir7gyszJOS5q-BY2Um60LfP1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-fDn463PAIVA-7tCh2rigQ3EAQYASABEgKrHfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Altruist is a good SPF 50 that feels like a face cream and it’s cheap too.

Agree - Altruist is great stuff. Just don't buy the tinted one by mistake if you don't want an extremely thick foundation!