To be envious of my cousin's youthful looks?

[MinnieSmall]

I attended a wedding the other week and was sat next to my older cousin. I am mid 30s she is 10 years older. Since my late 20s early 30s my skin has developed a lot of dryness, fine lines and now wrinkles. I also have sagging round my eyes. I have a lot of grey in my dark hair and dye it to colour it but despite deep conditioning treatments and olaplex my hair is dull and dry. Her hair was long dark thick and glossy.

I was sitting very close to her and in good light and she had literally no wrinkles or even fine lines. Her face was very smooth and glowy and young looking. My skin is dry and I have lines all over my forehead, round my eyes, lips mouth, cheeks. My lip lines are very deep and I hate them as I never smoked. I was beautiful in my 20s but my skin has shrivelled in recent years. I did ask her her skincare but most of it seemed to be prevention so sun screen, tretinoin for decades, so sun, no alcohol etc. She never wears make up but a has such lovely skin she doesn't need it. She genuinely looks younger than me as does her mum who is 70 and also has lovely line free skin and looks decades younger so genes do play a part.

Am I unreasonable to envy her?

Interesting my friend took DHEA when trying to get pregnant and it gave her terrible acne.

No, you're not BU. What skincare she's using? Asking for a friend 🙃

Yeah it's a light hearted envy, I'm not planning on skinning her or anything

This made me actually lol!

Wearing SPF takes less time to apply than makeup-

Also, you don't have to cut all alcohol but not binging every weekend does not equal boring life

Yeah it's a light hearted envy, I'm not planning on skinning her or anything. Just envious of her genetics and foresight!

It rubs the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again!

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As far as I know she uses tretinoin, SPF 50 every day, vitamin c serum (different ones). Also uses basic type skincare like eucerin or cerave. Sadly I think a lot of it is down to lifestyle and prevention but I'm still going to use what I can from her myself!

Lol, this is what I was thinking 😄, my poor cousin I hope she is on here!

That should be op she isn't on her!

Lots of people don’t find alcohol fun. I don’t understand people who think not taking drugs means you don’t have fun. Alcohol actually tastes vile and smells unpleasant to lots of people.

The ‘sun part’ , I agree with.

Ive never heard of Tretinoin. Off to Google

Tretinoin is just retin a, I think you can get it online now although it's pricey. 20 years ago it was hard to get without a prescription from a dermatologist.

It's mostly down to genes. I've almost 47 but barely have any lines on my face despite drinking plenty of wine over the years and being lazy with sun cream. My décolletage is a different story though. But I don't care. I love being 'older'.

I do think genetics have a lot to do with it. I'm in my early 40s and don't have a single wrinkle. I do get creases at the corner of my eyes when I smile, but they're gone when I go back to my bitchy resting face. I rarely drink and have always avoided the sun (because I have a high risk of getting skin cancer), but never bothered with cleansing, toning and moisturising. I don't even take my makeup off at the end of the day. My mum had only a tiny frown line by the time she was 50. She drank, smoked and lived in the sun, so it definitely wasn't "good living" that kept her youthful-looking. We were/are overweight, though, so maybe the extra nutrients from our diets and having more fat under the skin also plays a part.

Thank you. I use tretinoin for acne on my chin (not now, because I'm pregnant), because my skin cells turnover is horrible. If I don't exfoliate it, it looks awful. I'm not great with SPF though, I know we're supposed to use it every day, but sometimes I think what's the point if I go to work at 8.30, in a car for 30 minutes, so barely see daylight. By the time I finish work it's dark again. Anyone is confused about it too? 😬Am I going to damage my skin by ignoring SPF on days like this?

I think even light through the window or even from devices can age your skin and driving has been shown to cause more wrinkles on the side that faces the window! So it probably does matter but I'm not great about SPF either. I think if your using tretinoin its a must as tretinoin withot spf = worse sun damage then no tretinoin and so spf if that makes sense?

Ah but if you have coupled your good genes with healthy living you'd probably still look 17😁

Me too! 😂

I'd be less focused on her and more on what you can do for your skin. Mid 30s is VERY young ti be having the aging you discuss. Is your skin naturally dry?
I have used Tret for a long time also. Also Vit C 15-20% Ascorbic acid.
I love the sun but I wear factor 50 dally and on holiday I reapply constantly.
I don't drink because I don't like it. I'm mid 50s and only have a little crinkling when I smile. My skin is starting to lose firmness a little but there must be so much you can do at your young age.

Oh no, I need to improve then. It felt so good ignoring one layer of cream in the morning😂Although I really like skincare, it makes me feel like at least I try.

@minipie you are conflating looking after oneself with being boring and no fun. That's a very strange way of looking at things and an attitude I thought had died a long time ago. Not all of us need alcohol to be and have fun. Terribly sad if anyone was to require alcohol to enjoy one's self.
I agree with the comment that looking after one's skin takes a whole lot less time and focus than applying makeup to cover up poor skin.
I actually love makeup but I'm happy to not wear any as my skin is good.

Diet plays a huge role in the appearance of your skin. Ditch the processed crap and sugar, and eat more fat (including saturated) and you’ll look a lot glowier. Alcohol does make a visible difference, too - unfortunately!

My sister is 6ft 3 with a figure like a gazelle. I am 5ft 4 and we'll, haven't got a figure like a gazelle! Both same parents. Her legs are almost long than my entire body but guess what?! Her hairs shit and mine is fabulous so small wins!!

I am late 40s and am relatively wrinkle free. I avoid the sun (hate being hot), don’t smoke and rarely drink. I also have chubby cheeks which also helps I think.

However, a few years ago I got frontal fibrosing alopecia so also have a noticeable receded hairline and barely any eyebrows! I feel this has definitely aged me.

Without sounding too moralistic, you cant predict what will happen.

But always wear suncream!!

It's ok. I'm fine with looking 21. 😂

Kidding! Unfortunately my good genes don't extend to the rest of me. I am covered in psoriasis from the neck down!

YANBU to envy her but comparison really is the thief of joy so try not to let it eat you up.

I've always had pretty good skin but in the last month's my face has collapsed! I didn't use strong enough suncream in my 20 and 30s. It's definitely not to late for you to start doing this. I'm 47 so quite a lot older than you are.

Re the dry skin, I've been having similar issues lately and I've found the CeraVe moisturising cream is really good. It sounds like it would be too heavy on the face but I'm finding it's not at all. I'm putting it on the skin around my eyes several times a day. Obviously it can't get rid of lines and wrinkles but it makes them less noticeable and gives my skin a nice glow. Obviously factor 30 when I'm out, and in the spring and summer it will be factor 50.

You'll never be younger than you are right this minute so try not to spend your time wishing you were different. Easy to say I know....

Yes retina is good. I started at your age and the skin on my face is excellent at 53. My hair is thinning at the temples and looks shit most of the time so...