I need to know how to make cheese sauce

[RedCarsGoFaster]

You know the one. The really dirty, fattening, unhealthy, vivid yellow or orange cheese sauce. The stuff they coat loaded fries with at Burger King. Or they pour on your non-authentic cheap nachos in cheap takeaways and chain restaurants where "chef Mike" does all the hard work.

Not a proper roux and cheddar with plenty of English mustard and black pepper - oh no that's a cheese sauce in a league of its own - but I can make it without a recipe.

The stuff I seek is probably made with nasty American cheese slices and half a litre of oil, but I don't care. It's a bit of rough and I love it. I just can't replicate it. Bottled stuff is not the one (I've tried all sorts of brands now).

So AIBU or do you have the recipe for me?

I do a homemade Microwave easy peasy sauce:-

half pint of milk, 1 1/2 to 2 tablespoons of flour, teaspoon of mustard powder, 2 or 3 oz of cheese. - Mix/stir milk/flour/mustard, plonk in cheese and stir. Microwave for 1 minute - then stir, Microwave another minute then stir - keep doing that til it's boiling, the cheese is all melted in and it is thicker. Sometimes I blitz it with the hand blender if there are a few floury lumps I've missed. and sometimes I put in a bit more flour if I want it thicker

Oops just seen that that is not the recipe you are looking for - but if you do fancy a 'normal' cheese sauce then that one is simple

Ed I have this recipe from an American canning group i’m in but haven’t tried it. Velveeta is processed cheese. Obviously reduce quantities unless toured preserving enough to feed a ranch for six months!

Heres Velveeta Costs a bomb My kids love that stuff

@AdventFridgeOfShame , that's exactly how I would do it. Prob not for myself, I like real food, but for someone craving it over industrielly processed nachos maybe 🤣

Filthy US style cheese sauce is my secret pleasure. The quick and easy way is to buy a box of Mac and Cheese and Chuck the macaroni. Make up the sauce and boom!

second option - the giant tubs of nacho cheese from Costco

Third option: buy this tin off ebay

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/192015380764?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=2wziFmyZQ7q&sssrc=2349624&ssuid=WuktQc1VS3a&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY

Fourth option: squeeze cheese
theamericancandystore.co.uk/sauces-dressings/903-old-fashioned-foods-squeeze-cheese-mature-cheddar-326g-0048707459554.html?search_query=Cheese+sauce&results=7

Make a roux with flour, butter and milk then as handfuls of cheese and stir till melted.

Did some people just read the title? Still getting ordinary cheese sauce recipes.

If I set up some sort of American Cheese-Like Food Appreciation Society, maybe I'll get complimentary supplies? I could be a brand ambassador for Velveeta!

They are from a tin
www.costco.co.uk/Grocery-Household/Food-Cupboard/Spreads-Condiments/Ricos-Gourmet-Nacho-Cheese-Sauce-3kg/p/314216

I am sorry I dont know what was the matter with me last night. I typed my post thinking I was being funny and I just ended up being rude. I hope you find the ultimate recipe! And do share!

No. I know the stereotype is that American food is all made up of chemicals, but in this case, it's really untrue. Even the colouring in processed cheese is natural.

I'm not a food chemist so I can't explain it properly, but the reason that the cheese goo works is that it's processed cheese. The ingredients in processed cheese aren't very complicated (though it can have vegetable or palm oil in it), but the process does something so that the curd and whey and fats don't curdle and split when heated. There's an emulsifier in there, but it's pretty basic. So all you need is to add milk to thin it to the correct consistency. I have successfully done the sodium citrate trick, which lets me use whatever cheese I like, but I'm not sure where to buy it in the UK.

(And to save anyone else Googling: Ro-Tel is tinned tomatoes with chiles.)

Slightly related but if you've bought plastic cheese slices and need a use for them they make amazing cheese on toast.

Toast ONE side of the bread under the grill. Cover the untoasted side with plastic cheese. Melt just enough that you can spread it right to the edges. Lightly coat with butter. Return to the grill until brown and bubbling. Don't burn your gob off. Enjoy.

I melt cheese slices in the microwave and add a drop of milk. Works well #dirtyfood

Maybe cheese slices (the offensive orange ones ) melted with a dash of milk??

Odeon have their recipe

www.odeon.co.uk/odeon-scene/cinema-cheese-sauce-recipe/

Why, why would you do that? I would eat proper English macaroni cheese every day if I could. The fake plastic American-style stuff makes me heave, and then makes me cry tears of disappointment on top of the sick.

How about a roux but adding mimolet (sp?) lovely and orange and plasticky

That’s nowhere near the taste though? Red Leicester might be closer

i think mimiolette is banned in America.

My bf makes this with double cream,Red Leicester, mozzarella ( grated) and black pepper.
add cayenne pepper/ chilli or some jalapeños for spice.

it’s so calorific but sooo nice!!

This is one of the most wholesome threads on AIBU in a long time.

I’m now yearning for shitty cheese sauce and piles of nachos and jalopenos.

Cheese slices, in a bowl with a splash of milk, microwave on full power, stir every thirty seconds until the cheese has melted and the mixture is combined, add milk as needed to thin down to the desired consistently. I add in a touch of garlic granules, Paprika and mild chili powder.

Right, I've tried a few recipes this year, and no dice.

Next on my list is the Odeon cinema one!

Still haven't found a good one in a bottle or jar either, although maybe I'll get to a Costco in 2024.....