I need to know how to make cheese sauce

[RedCarsGoFaster]

You know the one. The really dirty, fattening, unhealthy, vivid yellow or orange cheese sauce. The stuff they coat loaded fries with at Burger King. Or they pour on your non-authentic cheap nachos in cheap takeaways and chain restaurants where "chef Mike" does all the hard work.

Not a proper roux and cheddar with plenty of English mustard and black pepper - oh no that's a cheese sauce in a league of its own - but I can make it without a recipe.

The stuff I seek is probably made with nasty American cheese slices and half a litre of oil, but I don't care. It's a bit of rough and I love it. I just can't replicate it. Bottled stuff is not the one (I've tried all sorts of brands now).

So AIBU or do you have the recipe for me?

..."want TO make it"
..."looking for TEX-MEX QUESO"
..."NOT REAL Mexican queso"

This cheese is the best on tacos, nachos etc.

I did the whole melt the cheese slices with milk etc that was okay not quite it.

Then I came across this bad boy in Costco!

www.costco.co.uk/Grocery-Household/Food-Cupboard/Spreads-Condiments/Ricos-Gourmet-Nacho-Cheese-Sauce-3kg/p/314216

Taste like cinema cheese on the Nacho's! Don't even bother making your own 🤣.

Nacho cheese in a jar - usually with the doritos. Warm it up and its perfect.

Here...

I am so sorry darling I think you and I were on the same page of basically "newbie cook". As I read the thread I realised it is a whole new world - our OP doesnt want to learn how to cook "proper" - they want to recreate crappy shite. Beyond my expertise, even as a crappy shite proper cook.

I wanted a US style plasticky cheese sauce a little while ago, I was missing Mac and cheese after a visit. I started the cheese sauce in the regular manner and simply substituted the cheddar I would normally use with the orangest cheese slices I could find and a lot of them.

I might have to try that for dinner tomorrow night!

A teaspoon of sodium citrate will turn cheese into that lovely goo. Use half a pint of milk, a pound of cheese, and the teaspoon of sodium citrate powder.

That said, Americans make it with velveeta and for salsa con queso, a tin of Ro-Tel. (Cube up the Velveeta, put it in a bowl, pour the Ro-Tel on top, and microwave it till the cheese melts.) The violent colour is actually natural: it's annatto and sometimes a bit of paprika depending on brand. Annatto aka achiote is also what you use to get tacos al pastor bright red.

Velveeta and Kraft Singles cannot legally be called cheese in the US either, they are "pasteurised process cheese product" or some such. The FDA has a whole list of terms for not-quite-cheese.

Me right now

“Ro -Tel”? That’s a new one, just had to Google it.

This is not it. It's not nearly plastic enough. Doesn't cut the mustard.

Yep, I'm not a newbie cook. I've worked in pub and cafe kitchens as a cook. I can make most things without a recipe. I'm no trained chef, but I'm plenty good enough. A roux is easy.

Plastic cheese sauce appears to need an actual recipe.

Looked at some recipes. Tried others. All failed. Wanted to speak to actual humans who might make them, not one of those cooking sites where they tell you some made up story about their grandmother, sunsets, memories of eating said cheese sauce at her knee and then spam you with ads to be able to read the ingredients and instructions.

I have a large jar of that salt and pepper sprinkle - bought it in B&M.

I make this for nachos. Flour, milk, butter some paprika and lots of cheese singles, the kind in the individual plastic wraps (Easi Singles in Ireland, don't know if they are in UK). A delicious orange mess.

What happens if you try to melt American plastic cheese slices in a little milk?

Fun Story: Shortly after we brought our first home and I was just getting into cooking from scratch I looked up a recipe to make this nasty plastic cheese sauce as it’s one of my favourites on nachos.. to get the colour they suggested adding some cayenne powder. So I did, mixed.. didn’t look very orange.. so I added some more.. still didn’t look very orange. - so I dumped the whole jar in. Looks kinda orange so just rolled with it - served it up having never tried cayenne before anyway and just assume it was a bit like paprika - no.. it’s not like paprika. Our meal was ruined 😂

B&M, you say? <looks up bus times>

And is it like yer proper filthy takeaway stuff? I can add on my own chillies and spring onion.

I have a Byron cook book and have made these slices for burgers. I have also made this and poured it over fries and nachos too. I also put those fake cheese slices instead of Monterey Jack as I didn't have any, it was lush!!!!

I don't have a recipe but if you microwave a pot of cathedral city spreadable it turns into DELICIOUS cheese sauce similar but better than the cinema nacho cheese. It's so yummy but obviously so bad for you lol

It's not as good, no, but looks like mine has no MSG in it which will be part of it!

However the recipe you want for that is attached - Kwoklyn Wan's cookbook. It's never let me down with a recipe, exactly as made in a really decent Chinese takeaway. Highly recommended!

Isnt the main issue with those types of sauce that probably over half what goes in isn't food, its weird chemicals or industrial by-products?

I think they can only sell it in the US, its probably not classified as fit for consumption in the UK.

No, the main issue with those types of sauce is that they're DELICIOUS!

I'm sure OP knows it's not something to be eaten out of the tin for breakfast every morning...

Don't worry OP - I'm here and I have your answers.

New Ricos Premium Nacho Cheddar Cheese Sauce 3kg Tin Suitable for Home Professional Chefs & Restaurants https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B089DLQMH7?ref=cmmswrrapindpp_ZBZTX5SPBNDSFZ8FCCXP

Enjoy - it's INSANE

@DahliaMacNamara mine's the proper filthy stuff, also from B&M.

You could make your own

Cheers. I like filth.