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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you split the money?

126 replies

BridgertonLady · 16/01/2023 19:30

If you referred a good friend for a job in your company, they got it and you were paid a fee of £5K would you keep it or split it 50/50?

I’m in this position now and I’m going to split it (friend has no idea about the fee) but I told a colleague and they were quite shocked.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 16/01/2023 19:31

I'd prob split, I'd feel bad profiting from not much except them doing well at an interview

BustingClouds · 16/01/2023 19:31

I was in a similar position and split it. Wasn't nearly so much though! Would have felt very wrong keeping it all to myself.

CrocodileShoooooesCrocodileShoes · 16/01/2023 19:32

I wouldn't split it but I would probably take them for a weekend away or a nice dinner or something.

You've done them a favour by helping them get a job.

Jojobees · 16/01/2023 19:32

I’d split it. The company I work for split it anyway, if the referred person passes probationary period you both get an equal sum of money.

Cherrysoup · 16/01/2023 19:32

I think I’d keep it. We have referral fees at my school, nothing like 5K, I mean, it’s teaching. I’d keep it. You’ve referred the friend and ensured they got the post? Take them out for an amazing night out, get them a present.

BCBird · 16/01/2023 19:32

It would be a great thing to do. It money you woukd not have rereceived if ur friend had not taken the job and vice versa. Yes I think I would. 2.5k- thank you. More than a month's wages for me.

Mouldyfoodhelp · 16/01/2023 19:34

CrocodileShoooooesCrocodileShoes · 16/01/2023 19:32

I wouldn't split it but I would probably take them for a weekend away or a nice dinner or something.

You've done them a favour by helping them get a job.

I'd argue if there's a 5k referral/ recruiting fee it's not an average job and so the friend would be in demand anyway

bridgetreilly · 16/01/2023 19:34

Surely their bonus is getting the job? I don’t think I would feel obliged to split it.

greenapplesredpeppers · 16/01/2023 19:34

I wouldn't split 50-50 - she got a job out of your recommendation and if it went wrong, it would reflect bad on you. I'd give her £1k and/or a lovely meal and/or spa day. She's then free to refer someone else!

That's a very generous referral scheme!

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/01/2023 19:35

After the probationary period and not before!

StephanieSuperpowers · 16/01/2023 19:36

I think I'd be thinking 1-1.5k as well. Not all of 50:50.

Mamaneedsadrink · 16/01/2023 19:36

I'd like to think I would, seems fair. Especially since they're the one who actually got the job

ellesbellesxxx · 16/01/2023 19:37

We completed a recommend a friend voucher for a friend when we bought a house and received £1000. We gave them £500. They were surprised but we didn’t feel right knowing they had been kind enough to fill in the voucher, the £500 was a lovely extra for us and for them too!

Tinyant · 16/01/2023 19:40

No I’m obviously a selfish person as I don’t think I’d even consider it! You sound a nice friend though

Rebelmcstreettuff · 16/01/2023 19:40

I received a finders fee from a colleague when I recommended someone for a position
It wasn't half but nor would I expect half,I was very grateful for anything at all.

mightymam · 16/01/2023 19:40

Of course you don't split it!!! They've used you as part of their recruitment process and you've given them someone who they feel can do the job. You keep the money for your efforts! Your friend wouldn't split the money if they were given it for finding someone else.

LBFseBrom · 16/01/2023 19:41

You don't have to, it is your fee for finding/headhunting. I hope the person you told doesn't work for the same company.

familyissues12345 · 16/01/2023 19:45

Assuming it was someone I'd want to go away with, I'd probably spend some of it treating them (and you) to a weekend away, or a nice day out.

I probably wouldn't spend it 50/50.

Original poster
BridgertonLady · 16/01/2023 19:46

Mouldyfoodhelp · 16/01/2023 19:34

I'd argue if there's a 5k referral/ recruiting fee it's not an average job and so the friend would be in demand anyway

Show quote history

Have you ever worked in HR? £5K is an extremely small fee.

OP posts:
Happin · 16/01/2023 19:47

I wouldnt feel obliged to split it. If the friend refers someone down the line she will get the same bonus. The bonus is for you, as you referred someone good and trusted who got the job.....

MissKittyFantastico84 · 16/01/2023 19:48

I was in this situation but it was £1,500.

I took my mate out for a really nice lunch after she started to celebrate her getting the job.

And, because I was on maternity leave when she was going through the hiring process, I gave 10% to my mate who also worked at the company who really advocated for her on my behalf! Grin

Suzi888 · 16/01/2023 19:50

I’d split. What a fabulous scheme!

ihaveopinions · 16/01/2023 19:50

Will your friend know you got a referral fee and how much it was? She may be pleased to have the job and pleased for you to be rewarded. Maybe get her a really nice gift or give her a wodge of money but 50/50 is generous.

Aprilx · 16/01/2023 19:52

No I wouldn’t split it, the thought wouldn’t even occur to me. The friend got a job out of it and I would presume they would only move for a better job / more pay so that this their “reward”.

Howabsolutelyfanfuckingtastic · 16/01/2023 19:53

I wouldn't split it, she'll get hers if she ever refers anyone. It's your money and you can do what you want but you definitely shouldn't feel obliged to share it 50/50. I think I like the idea of taking her out for a spa day, meal, night out or weekend away. I'd do that rather than giving her any money.