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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you split the money?

126 replies

BridgertonLady · 16/01/2023 19:30

If you referred a good friend for a job in your company, they got it and you were paid a fee of £5K would you keep it or split it 50/50?

I’m in this position now and I’m going to split it (friend has no idea about the fee) but I told a colleague and they were quite shocked.

OP posts:
OnTheBoardwalk · 16/01/2023 23:20

No one referred me I think I got good deal on my pay. The person I got a job for ended up with a higher salary than me even though much less than me previously.

My bad for not pushing more, they did better than me

Original poster
BridgertonLady · 17/01/2023 00:11

Glorianna · 16/01/2023 22:12

Really, you never considered keeping it? Really? 🤔

Show quote history

No I didn’t. But it doesn’t matter what I say because you’ve clearly made your mind up so why even ask.

OP posts:
Original poster
BridgertonLady · 17/01/2023 00:17

NoBiscuitsLeftInMyTin · 16/01/2023 23:12

I’d keep it, what if they leave after you get it - would they give your share back to you?

If I was choosing to give someone money then I wouldn’t put stipulations on it.

And questions like this and would my friend do the same for me are redundant. Ultimately we all might say one thing when it’s easy because it’s just hypothetical but when we’re actually in the situation we could react entirely differently.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 17/01/2023 00:57

I would keep it.

You did what was required, you referred someone. They applied and the company employed them, that is between them. You fulfilled your part of the deal when you referred them, its your money.

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/01/2023 00:58

But I say that as someone to whom £5k would be a massive windfall, I am not in a position to give away £2.5 grand, so perhaps if I was I would feel differently.

Chibbers · 17/01/2023 01:01

No I wouldn't split it, nor would I say anything.

kalookaloo · 17/01/2023 01:21

No it's for you, not for them. If they refer someone then they get $5k.

readingismycardio · 17/01/2023 05:26

I wouldn't even think about it Blush

Tratjymp · 17/01/2023 07:57

Give your money away if you like.

LisaD1 · 17/01/2023 08:04

Depends on other factors for me. Did your friend get a sign on bonus? My friend referred me for a role which I got, as part of my package I received several k in sign in bonus, when I passed probation she got a 3k referal bonus which she didn’t share and nor should she.

AhNowTed · 17/01/2023 08:11

We run a similar scheme.

It saves the company recruitment fees.

It wouldn't occur to me to split it.

You'll always feel somehow responsible for recruiting her, and if she doesn't work out that's a weight on your shoulders. The money is some compensation for that.

Keep it.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 17/01/2023 08:36

I'd keep it I think. I know people that have done this and they've always kept it. The friend has already benefitted from being told about the job, given additional info and got a new job

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 17/01/2023 08:56

I'd try and get her sacked and then put another friend forward for the vacant position and get another £5K. I would repeat this until I ran out of friends.

(I wouldn't really do this...

... I haven't got any friends Sad)

Dangermouse2 · 17/01/2023 09:05

Absolutely not
You'll pay tax on it as a bonus (even if you give your friend half of it who won have you pay tax as it's a gift!)
Your friend will get their own bonuses and has a new great job thanks to you.

You are being too kind OP

ouch321 · 17/01/2023 09:12

Did said friend that you recommended the job to know that you were going to be making money off them if they applied and were chosen for the post?

Otherwise they might have gone for and got a totally different job.

So yes absolutely you should split it. I can't imagine trying to profit from a friendship like that otherwise.

mrstea301 · 17/01/2023 10:37

ouch321 · 17/01/2023 09:12

Did said friend that you recommended the job to know that you were going to be making money off them if they applied and were chosen for the post?

Otherwise they might have gone for and got a totally different job.

So yes absolutely you should split it. I can't imagine trying to profit from a friendship like that otherwise.

This feels like a bit of a reach for a bad motive imo. You wouldn't just refer anyone to make money - as people have noted earlier in the thread, it will always be on your shoulder that you referred someone, so even if something catastrophic happened five years down the line, you'd feel partially responsible (well, I would anyway!)

The friend always had the choice to go for a different job surely?

Movingsoon21 · 17/01/2023 10:43

This is standard in my industry and it’s always standard practice to split the fee 50:50

Pollysprocket · 17/01/2023 11:02

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 17/01/2023 11:09

bridgetreilly · 16/01/2023 19:34

Surely their bonus is getting the job? I don’t think I would feel obliged to split it.

This.

I might get them a congratulatory gift though.

2Rebecca · 17/01/2023 11:09

I would keep it as I would be taxed on it and would treat the friend to a meal out. If you split it 50 50 you will still have to pay 100% of tax

picnicshicnic · 17/01/2023 12:43

In this situation I would give them something not not half.

You got them a job, after all.

I'd probably take them out for dinner and give them £1k

Sceptre86 · 17/01/2023 12:45

No I wouldn't share it. It's aimed towards the person that does the referral so as that's you, it's yours. There is no moral obligation to but its up to you to do what you want.

Lulu2171 · 17/01/2023 21:42

Absent extenuating circumstances, I'd buy her a fancy handbag and take her for a particularly nice meal to celebrate the job. But I wouldn't give cash.

ProductivePenny · 20/01/2023 01:23

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/01/2023 00:58

But I say that as someone to whom £5k would be a massive windfall, I am not in a position to give away £2.5 grand, so perhaps if I was I would feel differently.

But that’s £5K you never would have had. Different than giving away £2.5K of money you currently have.

bbqchickenandsalad · 20/01/2023 10:00

Hilarious. I work in a male dominated field where the referral bonus is 15k. No man ever splits his bonus. It's business. It's what they would have paid a recruiter.

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