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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Men ARE in charge

90 replies

kittycreative · 16/01/2023 19:06

do you ever think its better just to accept that men are in a position of being top dog and to let them just get on with it??

Maybe we should give up trying to get them to understand feminism and to allow them to take control , make the decisions and leave us be.

We could just enjoy ourselves and let them struggle , be who we want to be and let them deal with the major stuff. Doesn't sound bad to me!

OP posts:
Original poster
kittycreative · 16/01/2023 20:23

MadameDe · 16/01/2023 20:01

And there you have the whole suffragette movement wiped out by the start of one post. Women literally died for our right to be equal. In comparison, our lives are a lot better than they were back then. As a woman, I feel we have an obligation to keep fighting, to bring our children up with a sense of responsibility towards their families and to recognise that women have their own unique strength.

In a few months Andrew Tate will be in prison and largely forgotten about. Most men will then realise what a dick he is.

well said!!
You're absolutely right and have restored my faith

OP posts:
Slimjimtobe · 16/01/2023 20:24

You want to meet my mother in law.. she says her dh was the boss and now their son is as father in law is old 😂😂

they don’t see women as valuable

Original poster
kittycreative · 16/01/2023 20:25

Slimjimtobe · 16/01/2023 20:24

You want to meet my mother in law.. she says her dh was the boss and now their son is as father in law is old 😂😂

they don’t see women as valuable

Its just awful isn't it

OP posts:
SpaceRaiders · 16/01/2023 20:26

I agree, let’s allow them to continue killing us willy nilly 😳

SpaceRaiders · 16/01/2023 20:27

I see it’s a joke phew!

Slimjimtobe · 16/01/2023 20:28

She complains if the daughter is in the front o a hearse at local funerals and why isn’t it the son 😳😳

I try and keep my mouth shut but it’s so hard.

LoobyDop · 16/01/2023 20:31

So you’ll be handing in your credit cards, then, OP, and your driving license, and your contraception? Jolly good, you get on with that. And your opinions and your right to voice them. Which I cannot motivate myself to care about, because you do not speak for me or for any other woman. Ruin your own future, but stay the fuck away from ours.

DarkShade · 16/01/2023 20:37

Never give up. Small incremental consciousness raising steps so that the next generation can look back at us and say: "look, we can't give up, look how relentlessly they fought for us to be here".

Look at young women today. They are amazing. They are ambitious, creative, inspired and they know their worth. We did that, us and our mothers and our grandmothers. We did it by showing them a good example at home and slowly chipping away at the world outside. Just think of what they will go on to achieve for their own daughters!

DisappearingGirl · 16/01/2023 20:38

In the case of Andrew Tate I get where you're coming from - not that anyone should let him be in charge of anything - but more that it feels a waste of breath arguing with him or any of his supporters. Possibly best to ignore as far as possible (ideally while getting on with having fun AND being a successful female)

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 16/01/2023 20:39

No.

Men ARE in charge
tulips27 · 16/01/2023 20:39

@SunlightWINTER Secondly, nobody would have ever said that to The Queen

Totally agree, miss having a Queen (though nothing against the King).

FloydPepper · 16/01/2023 20:39

Spendonsend · 16/01/2023 19:21

I'm glad men exist. I think cooperation between the sexes is best to secure the best future for men and women.

I’m not sure mumsnet is the site for you 😀

EmmaEmerald · 16/01/2023 20:40

Slimjimtobe · 16/01/2023 20:28

She complains if the daughter is in the front o a hearse at local funerals and why isn’t it the son 😳😳

I try and keep my mouth shut but it’s so hard.

I am absolutely baffled by this. Is it like a time slip? But if we crossed over with the Victorians, we'd know because they'd be dressed accordingly!

I have no patience for grown women who refuse to take responsibility for their own choices. Were they raised by ghosts like this though? So weird.

Cherrydropsandchocolatemice · 16/01/2023 20:44

No, we certainly shouldn't just give up.

It's not as simple as just sitting back enjoying ourselves while the men make all the important decisions.

Sadly lots of men here and throughout the world happily murder, rape, abuse, deny women of basic human rights, freedom to be educated, to drive, to dress as they'd like. Deny medical care and mutilate women's bodies.

So no, it might feel as though you're fighting a losing battle but to give up is to just say that all of the above is acceptable.

lljkk · 16/01/2023 20:46

I don't agree with assertion that "men are at the top" as a sweeping about-everything generalisation.

Yes they can reach further, run faster & lift heavier weights (on avg, at extremes).

ILookRidiculous · 16/01/2023 20:47

Are you serious?

I find this SO insulting and belittling.

Our predecessors fought for the right for us to be treated equally and to have a vote!

ILookRidiculous · 16/01/2023 20:50

@kittycreative
^*
I sometimes wish I was gay then I wouldn't have to think about men at all!!!*^

What is wrong with you?

You either want men to be in charge or wish you were gay!

Stand up for yourself (and other women)!!

AlwaysAReason · 16/01/2023 20:59

They've had their chances. Time they let women an minority groups have a go.

RosesAndHellebores · 16/01/2023 21:01

I love being a woman. I love pink and femininity and loved the 7 years at home.with the dc when DH was going for gold re his career.

My 7 years at home were facilitated by the fact that I had a high paying job from 1981 to 1997 and owned my own home.

I am 62. I have had two careers. DH and I are equals. There may have been a couple of decades when he brought the "bacon" and far more than we could eat but our input was equal and we worked as a team.

My grandfather married grannie, in terms of money, way beyond his station. When he went to war, grannie managed the farm, the other business, the workers, the pows, and drove the tractor until she was 73 .

My mother worked and then worked again when she married step managing all the paperwork and payroll for quite a significant small business.

Being a woman is great. One can cream off the fluffy bits thoroughly enjoy them and do the the work/career/corporate bits.

It only works if women don't settle.

GemJewels · 16/01/2023 21:05

@Grumpybutfunny I made a point of making my daughter's attend to judo from being six and taekwondo from being seven, both of which they kept up and earned their Dan's until they began university. One continues with her judo in her thirties.
I pity their partners if they start getting physical.
My young grandchildren are doing the same.
I wish more parents would enrol their daughters as young as they can to give them at least a fighting chance against a physical attack. They also carry themselves with confidence, which can help to deter an attack to begin with.
It won't give a guarantee that an attack will never happen, but at least they're given a chance to fight back successfully.

As for giving up on our rights op, no, it's not an option. Women were tortured and killed just to get us the vote, their fight is worth carrying on for as long as it takes.
A woman's right to be treated as a human being with the same rights as men, is and always will be worth fighting for.
It's taken many years to get to where we are today, but look at what has been gained during those years.
There is everything to gain and nothing to lose.
It can seem disheartening, but the more you stand up for yourself, raise the bar in your personal standards and let no one treat you like a lesser mortal then the further forward you will go.
On another thread, there is a poster who is pregnant and was spoken to in the most despicable way by a male colleague. She is now wondering whether to report him to her bosses.
Ask yourself, why wouldn't you? What have you to be scared of? Is it because as a woman you've been conditioned not to complain? To put up with any shit that comes your way, just because that's how you were raised as a little girl?
Again, even in a situation like that, stand up for yourself, because if you don't then you will never be taken seriously as a woman and we will never move forward in the fight.
More so, raise your daughter's not to put up with any old rubbish, raise them to place a high value on themselves as females and most of all, to fight for their rightful place in the world.

GemJewels · 16/01/2023 21:06

Sorry, that was a bit longer than I intended 😂

GreenManalishi · 16/01/2023 21:15

I sometimes wish I was gay then I wouldn't have to think about men at all!!!

They don't cease to exist just because you're not fucking them.

HotSauceCommittee · 16/01/2023 21:17

No, I want to smash the patriarchy hard and fast and replace with a Matriarchy.
It would be far, far better.

gravyriceandchips · 16/01/2023 21:18

BeenPurple · 16/01/2023 19:37

Blessed be the fruit

Lol I only came on here to say isn't this how the haidmaids tale started?

Prouddoggieparent · 16/01/2023 22:43

@GemJewels i am not saying your daughters cannot stand up for themselves but it is pure Hollywood to think their safe training in a local sport centre is the same as being attacked. Attackers do not fight fairly with a referee. This applies to domestic abuse also.
Bear in mind the group of people most likely to suffer a violent attack are young men. Maybe won’t get much sympathy here but violence is wrong against anyone.