Workplace bully, upsetting comments about pregnancy

[Usernamesonly]

Sorry for the long post, would rather get all information in one go to not drip feed. I work in a family run business (sales) 6 offices across the county, around 50 staff in total and a third party HR company. I work in an office with 3 wonderful people, and 1 person who has been removed from our department but still working within our office. Been here around 3 years, LOVE my job, love my colleagues but we have an awful workplace bully who I'm 99% sure only has his job still because he earns the company a lot of money. We have collectively complained about this individual (hence him now being in a different department) but still seeing him daily. Complaining about him is difficult because he will 1) know who the complainer is 2) Make our lives truly miserable. It's not worth it and he has escaped any repercussions from HR numerous times. I'm trying not to worry or stress because I'm 20 weeks pregnant and haven't got too long until maternity leave.

However, today he has insulted me beyond belief and I don't know what to do about it. His words were "Why are you dressed like that? You're pregnant? Get a bra that fits, your t*ts are everywhere and your skirt looks ridiculous. Maybe you should just remain office based for the time being". I was wearing black tights, a black pencil skirt, a white shirt (no cleavage!) and a black cardigan over. Admittedly they aren't "maternity" but I'm too small for maternity and too big for my normal size so have opted for stretchy bottoms. I actually think I looked as professional as I always do (just not so slim). Maybe it's just the hormones but I'm disgusted and feel so embarrassed - already worrying about what to wear tomorrow! This was said infront of my colleagues who thought I should report it, but I really don't know if it's worth it. Have my life made miserable and be caught in a whirlwind half way through my pregnancy?

What would you do? I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place (and maybe just need to vent because I'm utterly shocked!)

Some very wise advice here.

Can I just add - he's already known to those higher up because, as you've said yourself, he's been moved previously. Those previous incidents will support any complaint (I hope) you will now make.

What has he done previously to cause you and others to complain about him?

Just read you're going to speak to your line manager tomorrow.

Make sure you're open with him about how it has made you feel, don't play it down to protect him but ultimately your manager has got a responsibility to you and should ensure you are comfortable at work.

I'm honestly horrified.

It's not a guarantee that he would be dismissed for this but it's very possible. You have witnesses, it's pretty extreme and it relates to pregnancy, the company have to deal with it and take it seriously. I would report. And I would keep reporting his behaviour. If you feel uncomfortable coming into the office but can work okay from home I'd be tempted to do that until this is resolved. You could request that your managers deal with it as not a complaint that came from you but say to him 'it has come to our attention that you...'

You never know it's possible the company do want shot of him, someone like that can be a liability.

Absolutely raise a formal WRITTEN complaint and if nothing is done about it tell them you are keeping notes in case you decide to leave due to the man's behaviour towards you as you'll have a case for constructive dismissal.

Report it, and go directly to HR so it doesn't get 'dealt with' at a lower level which might mean brushed under the carpet as you'll be on mat leave soon.
You're pregnant, which is a protected characteristic and this should be addressed swiftly and thoroughly. Because of your protected characteristic you're also less likely (but not entirely protected from) being discriminated against during the investigation, so now is your moment, really.

Report report report!

Gosh, stand up for yourself OP. It doesn't matter how old you are, what sex you are, what you choose to wear - he has crossed a huge line and you need to stand up for yourself! You are enough, stop putting up with shit from a$$holes or you'll be walked over for the rest of your life.
Get some books on assertiveness right away. Honestly, this guy is a loser and needs to be put in his place.

"Maybe" talking to your manager
"Indirectly raising it"

No OP. You need to stand up for yourself and take action. Please, would you want someone to talk to your daughter like this? Your friend? Your mother?

You can't go through life being scared or worried about a bully making your life hard. You need to be brave and stop him in his tracks. People will respect you for standing up for yourself when or if they hear of it. Otherwise you are giving yourself a world of pain but allowing his behaviour to continue and for him to keep belittling and humiliating you in front of your colleagues and associates. Because that's what he's doing - belittling and humiliating you. Why aren't you mad about that?! Don't be scared, get angry!

“indirectly raising it” is saying “ I don’t feel this is serious enough to formally report” and it bloody is, find your anger! As a new mum you’ll be responsible for raising a woman not to stand for this shit or a man who would never stoop so low, start now!!

Wow! Report him. Hopefully that will be seen as gross misconduct.

If it affects your employment, you can then sue your employer for victimisation. Because you've reported abuse based upon your Protected Characteristic - pregnancy. As it could then cost them tens of thousands of pounds, it could well be far, far more expensive to do nothing and they finally decide that actually, he's not worth that much to the company with the negative publicity it would also bring them to have a court case.

@Usernamesonly any money that this loser has made for the company will be completely irrelevant if you took this to a tribunal. You’d be entitled to compensation and the publicity would damage the company.

Report your complaint with an email to HR and copy in your manager so that there’s a written record of it. Don’t brush this under the carpet or be too scared to take action. You deserve to work in a safe, respectful environment without being bullied, belittled and insulted.

I think I'd report it. It's not like other examples of bullying or leaving people out or anything that can be misinterpreted or you being 'over sensitive' or taking things the wrong way.

It's a fact that he said it. And any of the other witnesses could have reported it.

Also, if he is well known, he has more to lose reputation-wise. Don’t assume people will believe him over you. He will not stop. Your email to HR should make it clear you consider this sex harassment and that they have done nothing about his previous behaviour, which has left you in this position.

Why are you worrying about what people will think of you? You have done nothing to be concerned about. But him? He's an absolute twat. He's the one who should be worried about what people think.

Report him.

It will be hard to report it properly to HR but you have done nothing wrong - he has. His disgusting comments should not go unchallenged and you just need to push yourself to report it and then don't back down. Seems like he thrives on knowing people won't report him. Be strong.

I'd have asked him who the fuck he thinks he's talking to and then reported it immediately. He's crossed a line.

As others have said, this is harassment and discrimination. Raise a grievance and if they don’t take you seriously, take them to the cleaners.
Absolutely disgusting.

He isn't the brightest is he ? Sexually harrassing a pregnant woman in front of witnesses ? What on earth was he doing looking at your 'tits' anyway ?

Good advice from previous posters to record and report it as a written grievance. I would also agree with suggestion to contact ACAS. Reasons for this - free advice as to your legal rights re sexual harassment and maternity discrimination and what is expected of employers in terms of codes of conduct and procedures for dealing with grievances;

-ACAS has a mission to improve relations and standards of conduct between employers and employees and in resolving disputes; you are providing ACAS with information about what happens to pregnant women and the bullying that goes on in workplaces; they will log the details.

You feel powerless and I understand your fear of what this man can do to harm your career and job prospects but you don't know that ACAS hasn't received other complaints about this company. They may have done. They will be interested to know in any case.

Exactly this . Please don’t back out . This is outrageous and you or anyone else should not be subject to his vile behaviour

Absolutely report the fucker
Any reference to my "tits" (awful word) word want me to punch him in the face

Everyone bitching and moaning is a waste of time
2 options

1. report it be factual with what u report and detail witness do it properly
2. if your not prepared to do the above shut up and put up

This makes me really happy. Well done! It’s ultimately the bystanders who empower the bullies. This is awesome to read.

Absolutely report it word for word and who witnessed it and encouraged you to report. Include your feelings and anxiety as you described it here.
This is beyond harassment - it is misogyny and abuse.
You don't have anything to be ashamed of by reporting this a**.