Anyone else’s house a shit hole because their ‘D’H is a half-a-job-Bob?

[Halfajobbob]

Getting fucking sick of it now.

Desperately trying to get the house on the market, there’s a few jobs which need finishing which with a bit of effort could be done by the end of the week. But of course it won’t because DH won’t pull his finger out of his arse and when he does, whatever he attempts goes wrong and it’s up to me to get a professional in to fix it. Either that or he leaves it half done and never finishes it.

Would paint and do the manual stuff myself but heavily pregnant so I can’t. No I won’t LTB as this is pretty much my only complaint. Purely a
moan thread.

I can sympathise with your husband tbh.

I do the DIY around my house, and he doesn't think that I do it to a perfect standard. He's right in some cases, but it comes down to the fact that a) I do most jobs to a decent standard, b) I'm free labour and c) I always get someone in if I need to.

But he endlessly thinks he should have a say in how I do it, or when, and he can't stand the inconvenience of say, the house smelling of paint. Or he watches me do it, and doesn't realise that the steps I'm taking to sort it are the same ones a tradesman would take.

It's a BS masculine thing. It gets on my wick, and slows EVERY job down. They'd all be done and we'd live in a 98% nice house with a happy bank balance instead of a 100% nice house with a not so happy bank balance.

How are you cutting in the corners/ edges neatly?

Didn’t work on mine. He had no shame. He would come out. Use the paint roller for about five minutes just so he could say he did his bit… but he hasn’t really don’t word all.

^ but he hadn’t really don’t much. Sod all.

@Inertia - very good question . Unless I suppose coving and just paint ceiling and cut in the walls if lower . Am thinking about this because of our stairwell.

Here you are @Limesodas 🥇.

women like you really grate on me.

Just to answer a few questions. We can’t afford to pay hundreds of pounds to have a room painted so I can make a point. Nothing I’m asking him to do is complicated or beyond him - it’s mainly painting, walls and the bannister/gloss. Plus some window cleaning and clearing the yard. That sort of thing. Anything like floor fitting/new carpets/anything that requires a screwdriver and I get someone in. But I don’t have the money to do that for jobs that he can do.

I’m heavily pregnant, have PGP, and a placenta previa so I won’t be going up any ladders anytime soon. If this had been my pregnancy with DD (zero pain and a placenta that was in a normal location!) I would’ve been more than happy to do most of it myself.

We need to sell the house ASAP to move in time (or as close as we can) for DD to start school. Our mortgage payments will be increasing in a few months as well, so no longer affordable.

I completely understand your moan and I moan along with you. DH knocked a wall out of our bathroom 3 years ago and there the gaping hole sits. I know I am going to have to hire someone to do the bathroom but I haven’t gotten annoyed enough yet. 😂

If you're selling the house what's the point of going to the trouble of painting it?! It's surely not going to bump up the price that much and the new owners will probably want a different colour anyway!

Do you have any family members or friends husbands who you can ask to do the jobs cash in hand? If not look on local neighbourhood groups for recommendations. There must be some good tradespeople in your area. Suck up the cost as it will be less than the amount it reduces your sale price.

Why does the house need painting/new carpets etc if you're moving?

Surely as long as the house isn't in terrible condition then new owners will want to put their own stamp on it. We looked at some houses that had clearly been superficially touched up in shades of white, grey, neutral paint and the sellers seemed to think it warranted buyers paying substantially more for the property.

He needs to get a grip and set aside a morning to clear the yard. I don't blame you for not wanting to pay for someone to do jobs that your DH is perfectly capable of doing.

Why have you and DH made the joint decision to leave all of this until now? School year places etc aren’t moving goal posts.

Amazed you can’t even clean a window.

Weirdly enough we didn’t. It’s because he’s dragged his feet for so long that it’s become so last minute.

Amazed you can’t even clean a window.
Things I could do when I had PGP: weep. Rest. Exercises my physio gave me. Medicate. Not much else, definitely not something like cleaning a window: I cleaned the hob once and paid for it the next day.

Clearly moaning at him hasn’t worked. It’s your house too.

If you’ve moaned at him for other DIY he probably can’t be bothered to try.

@rwalker agree on the roller and long handle for painting a ceiling BUT I would not want to do this 10 days before due date it involves a lot of core muscles. I'm really active and wouldn't do that job that late on. Can't remember name of PP who said they were doing this but it didn't seem a hugely helpful comment to the OP.

OP and everyone else I feel your pain. My DH is a builder and it's even more frustrating because things still don't get done on our house even though he has the skills and tools. Just not the motivation arghhh

but you e only been pregnant for 8 months or so max. And this needed doing 8 months ago, you both knew then, so I’m not getting he’s entirely to blame> you seem to be the same?

So you can't get a trades person round..
And your partner doesn't have the skills you think he should have just been born with..

Yet you're just banging a drum that you want things done because you think its important?

Wow... I bet you're easy to be around...

I bet you're not.

Just get some trades round to do it.
Painting or DIY isn't everyone's forte.

@Halfajobbob moan away because it must be incredibly frustrating to have done your bit and then have a “D”H who isn’t pulling their weight. As for all those people asking why you haven’t done it - putting your difficult pregnancy aside, not entirely sure why getting the house sale ready should entirely fall to you just because your DH can’t be arsed or isn’t man enough to admit he hasn’t got the skills to do it. Why is up to you to either take on the job of hiring trades people or to nag him constantly? Why are so many women on MN intent on mothering their husbands? How do you have sex with someone you mother? Ew.

Ha! I divorced him.

I’ve said I don’t have the money! I don’t have hundreds of pounds to spend on something that would take him one weekend. Not everyone has thousands to piss away on something they could easily do themselves.

So what do you actually want OP?

DH isn’t going to do it.
You can’t afford a trade in to do it.

Friends or family?
Adjust your expectations?

You can’t keep moaning about something without either taking positive steps to sort it or adjusting how you deal with a situation that isn’t going to change.

You are clearly getting distressed, and I don't think this thread is helping you.

Why not just let it go and put the house on the market 'as is'?

Maybe it'll sell. If not, viewers' comments may perhaps spur him to get on with the jobs that might be putting people off?

Above all though, you must take care of yourself and your baby.