Anyone else’s house a shit hole because their ‘D’H is a half-a-job-Bob?

[Halfajobbob]

Getting fucking sick of it now.

Desperately trying to get the house on the market, there’s a few jobs which need finishing which with a bit of effort could be done by the end of the week. But of course it won’t because DH won’t pull his finger out of his arse and when he does, whatever he attempts goes wrong and it’s up to me to get a professional in to fix it. Either that or he leaves it half done and never finishes it.

Would paint and do the manual stuff myself but heavily pregnant so I can’t. No I won’t LTB as this is pretty much my only complaint. Purely a
moan thread.

Not sure why you’re trying to shame someone else who is heavily pregnant. My bump was huge compared to some of my friends- turned out my baby was 11lbs which is a lot to carry when 5”1 and 8.2st. Leave the tired pregnant woman alone and go hang out with the other ceiling painting martyrs

Did you not bother reading the OPs update that said when she’s not pregnant she does do what she is physically capable of? Or did you deliberately ignore that because it doesn’t fit your agenda of jumping down a pregnant woman’s throat to worship the penis?

So I get your frustration then, if you are capable of DIY and he isn't but honestly some people are just crap at it. Get someone in or talk him through it if you are better at it.

And her excuse for all the other jobs? Or has the OP been heavily pregnant for years

No excuse as it why it should be always left to her, pregnant or not

If this were the case she wouldn’t have posted this in her OP

‘whatever he attempts goes wrong and it’s up to me to get a professional in to fix it. Either that or he leaves it half done and never finishes it’

Unless there has been no DIY before this pregnancy of course, which seems unlikely

Yes me similar. DH is excellent at DIY and I am terrible so he does the majority. I say does but I mean he starts it, leaves a collection of tools near it then wanders off and starts doing something else until I lose my cool months and months later and scream at him to do it. Horrible tbh but getting someone in isn't an option. When he does things they're great but getting anything finished is an absolute nightmare

'Did you not bother reading the first part? What was the OPs excuse all the other times I wonder'

Yes I did. Why does she need an excuse for not wanting to do everything around the house herself? Heaven forbid a man should be expected to actually do something around the house when there's a perfectly capable 9 month pregnant woman to do it

Stop stressing and let him deal with it.

Seriously, drop the rope and focus on yourself and your children.

everything else is secondary.

It didn’t. You just need to learn to read OPs updates before going off on rants that make you look a bit thick.

Jesus. Here’s your medal emoji. 🥉

I dont have time for useless men in my life so I can't offer any advice other than if I can't do it I get someone in. I have a handyman I hire who will come in and do a day's work when I've saved up enough jobs for him to do. They prefer a full day of work rather than bits here and there.

In many ways, having a hubby with good DIY skills is just as bad! My ex was brilliant at doing jobs around the house tackling things that many people would leave for tradespeople. But his timing led a lot to be desired! His firm shut down over Christmas and New Year with the staff using some of their holiday allowance to fill in the days between bank holidays. My ex hated losing this time so always tried to do a fairly major DIY project.

One year he decided to remove every internal door in the house at the same time to strip the old varnish and repaint. The problem was that we had my parents staying with us for two nights followed by his parents for a week - with no doors on bedrooms or bathrooms! I had three children as well so it was very hard to find the privacy to go to the toilet or have a shower!

Another year, I woke up on Christmas Eve to find he had ripped out most of the kitchen units in order to decorate and change the layout of the kitchen. It was a great idea and made a much more usable kitchen but not the day before I was cooking Christmas dinner for 9 people! I ended up getting my mum to precook some things at her house before setting off on a 100 mile journey and borrowing my neighbours kitchen on Christmas Day to cook the rest of the meal. Luckily she was going to her family for lunch!

And many women aren’t able to. All pregnancies are different – my first id have been up a ladder wielding a drill; my second I was on crutches. The OP has said she can’t do it because of her pregnancy so why not assume she knows her body and abilities best?

YANBU OP! As above, I pretty much was disabled by my pregnancy, and it was so frustrating to see the issue – mess on the floor, empty dishwasher and pile of dirty plates, wall cupboard unhung, curtains on the floor next to the curtain pole that needed putting up – and to give DP a list, remind him, facilitate time for him to do it…and still mess! Aaargh!

Try the OP like this "My partner isn't pulling his weight he doesn't share the chores/kids/DIY whatever". MN response "You must be lazy, you should be doing his share too, if you're sooooooo fucking lazy pay someone to do it. But whatever you do, penis must be placated. Poor penz".

This happens in RL too - I've got a few friends who do everything including all the DIY, work full time, run the house and take care of the kids, and the H simply does his normal job and eats food. I've noticed this is more likely to happen if the female partner has an underlying illness or condition, temporary or otherwise, that would normally mean she couldn't undertake heavy work.

You then get the strategic incompetence - man "tries hard". Not his fault, nothing can ever be his fault. He tried. Rinse and repeat. This can happen more or less in most partnerships I find, its one of the reasons I am divorcing (like a PP mentioned?) - not the sole reason, but a fairly major one.

Sorry I don't have the answer OP, even when I told my H I'd applied for divorce and even in Relate, he still said he'd done nothing wrong. Well, he'd definitely done nothing, and even if he had, it wasn't his fault ...

Woman doesn't do her share - lazy cow.
Man doesn't do his share - his partner is a lazy cow and don't upset him by asking.

Yes mine. House is bloody awful but he won't have anyone in to do the jobs as he says he can do them. All have ended up worse than before he started. Thats when he's actually bothered to start them. Some can be years. Since he holds the money I cant overrule him.

The jobs I have done myself have ended up being sabotaged. Guess who by.

This won't help. She needs the jobs done so the house can go on the market. If her DH is anything like mine, left to him they simply won't happen

So this may not go down well - My father was good at painting and decorating ( as an amateur before they could afford people in) He would do this gladly. In fact he came to help DH & I with our first house . Other than that - no. He once tried to put a screw in the wall to hang up a clock in this and DM's house and it cost them a fortune because he went through a wire. He just was not good at it. I am not sure all men are good at DIY. Now if Dh is and just can't be arsed - different debate.

Get your finger out OP. You'll have to do it yourself or get a tradesperson in. Screaming at DH isn't going to make him to it and it sounds like you don't think hencan do it well enough either ?

Agree with PP. Get someone in. Even if they take longer than you’d like, at least it will get done.

Stop looking to your DH to fix the issue.

Either he's lazy or he can't do diy and knows he can't. So no point going on about it. Just get a man in!

^ This.

It's as though DH feels shamed into it when I start doing it myself. Or feels like his masculinity is being questioned. Woman: Stop: That's a Man Job.

So if I am reading this right, every DIY job he does you don't think is good enough? And wondering why he doesn't jump at the opportunity to do it just to be told it was not a good job yet again and wonder why he put the effort in?

And I assume he works? If he's out drinking down the pub with his mates rather than doing it then fair enough, but those calling him lazy should cut him a bit of slack if he's out grafting all week long.

I was extremely active and doing what needed to be done up until my due date. Ended up with PGP and a prolapse and will probably now need surgery. Pregnant women are more at risk of injury and need to take it easier.

My DH isn't too bad at DIY, but he tends to never finish a job in one sitting. At the moment it's taken him a week to put up a flat pack wardrobe as he was just putting one piece together then going off to do something else. He's like that in other areas of life and work, so I don't think it's strategic incompetence on his part. The spare parts and instructions are still strewn all over the floor. He'll also start jobs late in the evening which can be quite stressful sometimes.