To consider re home for dog

[ZED55JAX0]

I have crippling pnd a newborn and struggling my dh had to go back to work no choice or no money he’s had a month off as long as he possibly could. Our older dc are not old enough to help out still primary/& pre school age

we have two dogs an older rescue who’s chilled and lazy very low maintenance and would happily not be walked and not be bothered in the slightest

and one younger rescue is almost 18 months
(got her two month before I found out I was pregnant )

she’s a small terrier type and as a result is so hyper- so much bouncing energy!! Her temperament though is unbelievable amazing!! She fine when I was walking her theee hours a day but now I’m lucky if I manage half an hour

my parents say she’s need re homing she’s bored started barking digging and whining and chewing

im worried I’ll regret it when feeling better but I may not feel better for a while and
plus don’t know how I’ll manage with two dogs and kids
I feel really overwhelmed as it is

now I have family that say they would take her but it means we won’t get her back an see her they live five hours away a cousin I am in touch with by social media only!
and my parents said a local friend they know would take her but again we’d not see her too far away and don’t know them
however we’d receive updates I’m sure!!

so Aibu to find her a better life I think she’ll have more attention walks outdoors time etc.
or selfishly keep her because I feel bad at the thought of giving her up and should I just wait it out and see how I go and hope that the future works out?” With juggling life!
i feel like my heads swimming and I can’t think straight at all

If there are good homes waiting for her then you need to let her go, completely.

Take her to a reputable rescue they will re-home

Could you get someone to walk the dog? A friend? A family member?

PND is a bitch!! Are you getting help with it?

How happy were you doing the longer walks before?

personally I'd put the youngest in a sling and the middle one in a buggy while the eldest is at school and walk. It'll be good for all of you.

what does DH think about the dogs? My friends DH leaves for work at 5:30, but gets up earlier every day to walk their dog, only for 20mins, but it helps. Then he does the same thing before bed. Could/would your DH do that?

depending on how you felt about the dog/the walking before you were heavily pregnant, I wouldn't rehome while in the throws of PND.

it's sad that none of those willing to rehome are willing to foster instead.

if my situation was different id happily walk or foster until you feel well enough to decide what you want long term.

A vets/charity might be able to help you find a foster placement.

any neighbours you could ask if they're interested in walking them?

there's always 'borrow my doggy'

I would say your husband needs to do a long walk before and after work if you can’t manage. Or is a dog walker an option?

To be honest it seems like an odd choice to get a young bouncy dog with young kids. I run a rescue and would never home any dog to someone with young kids never mind a dog so young and hyper. Which rescue was this?

I’m someone that would do whatever it took to keep the dog, they’re family to me.

Most rescues stipulate you should return the dog to them if you are considering rehoming.

You should contact them for advice.

It wasn’t a rescue in terms of a business it was an elderly neighbour who’ was taken to hospital we knew him and he asked us it was never meant to be permanent but did! He didn’t have any family sadly other than an elderly sister we never met and he’s now gone unfortunately :(

What witchbitch20 says.
Check your contract.

Sorry meant to add husband is getting up at 5 to help before work as well as helping with baby in night he’s at burn out he does long hours and a lot of driving with work so none of it’s ideal

So this neighbour got a hyper puppy despite being elderly. Fuck me, people are so irresponsible. 😡

Yep me neither :(
I see it a lot actually
people not knowing the breed but getting a puppy because it’s cheap she’d had no training either I spent a lot of time on her :(

We got a lab when I was 6 months pregnant. The first few months after giving birth, I wondered what on earth possessed us but honestly, it's worked out amazingly well. Our now toddler dotes on him and vice versa. Our daughter also has a smashing immunity and I do think that's partly down to having a dog who was ALWAYS nearby.

Top tips:

• Get a supply of kongs and have them ready in the freezer. When you're busy with the baby, give him a kong to occupy. Frozen carrots are also a hit!
• Try and walk outside, even just a little.
• Play hide and seek with treats/toys. I used to show him what he was looking for, hide it in the garden and he'd have to find it. You could do that whilst holding baby?
• Play pens are great - they keep baby contained but still allow the dog to roam.

Only you can make th decision but I can promise you, better days will come 😊

Are you always so unkind? The OP feels awful as it is!

Poor dog. And poor you obviously, I’m not unsympathetic to the fact you are struggling and you didn’t plan to take the dog forever. People make me angry and now you’re in a horrible position due to others irresponsible behaviour.

I would do everything I could to keep the dog if it were me though. I see so many dogs that are abandoned and some don’t recover. If she has her third home, fourth including this irresponsible breeder, by the time she’s 18 months ish, she’s at a huge disadvantage. It does affect them. 😔

That probably reads that I’m trying to make you feel guilty and I’m not. Obviously you need to do whatever you have to, to be able to cope with your children and recover from your PND. If you can keep her, get help with walking her, then dogs can help massively with depression. Your PND is likely to resolve.

If you do rehome her privately, please be sure that her next owners really can provide a home giving her what she needs as a very young energetic dog. No one that’s considering kids any time soon, no one that works full time. She’s going to needs even more attention and training after her less than ideal start. Someone with lots of time and energy for her, someone that can commit to the next 15 years.

I think you're being responsible. But before you rehome, try the Cinnamon Trust. If you could get somebody in to give her a good walk once a day and your dh could take her before work then it might be OK? I know when I wanted to dogwalk with Cinnamon Trust they had no available dogs, so you might find someone? Otherwise I think it would be kinder to rehome as long as you trust the people he will go to.

You can't give this dog what it needs, and you have family who have offered to take her, so let them. It's not about if you will get to see her again, it's about her getting the home she deserves.

Trying to make me more upset? anxious? and feel terrible?
well done you’ve succeeded :(
mall im trying to do is figure out what is the best for them not me

Thank you
really helpful advice actually

Thank you this is good advice

People that abandon dogs make me very angry. But OPs situation is slightly different if you read her posts. She helped out a neighbour and then ending up with the dog. She didn’t make a choice to go out and get the dog. Still very sad for the dog but unfair to be so harsh on the OP in this case.

Sorry to hear this OP, I hope you’re getting support with your PND. With PND and a newborn, plus school age children, I’m surprised you manage half an hour walks.

If your family really cannot give this dog what it needs though, the kindest thing is to rehome. It is young and hopefully without any severe behavioural issues yet, and is (I assume?) fine around children.

Since I gave birth, without question my husband is up an hour earlier every day to walk the dog then does another hour after work, but we only have the baby so it’s not really comparable to your situation. I can’t imagine what a nightmare our dog would be without these walks, she’s a similar age to yours.

I’d suggest getting a dog walker, but would imagine if this was in your budget you’d have done so already?

Having said all that, do you think you could be in a position to do longer walks in a couple of months? I’m starting now to really enjoy strapping the baby in his carrier and going for a wander with the dog during the day, could this be a possibility when your older children are in school?

I have a high energy dog, have a google of enrichment ideas - they can exhaust my dog as much as a long walk!

Things like scattering and rolling up dry biscuits in a towel, letting her work out how to get to them. Save loo roll tubes, put in a box, scatter biscuits in. Lick mats - put on various things and freeze.

A shorter walk and letting the dog sniff at her pace can use a lot of energy and calm the dog down as well.

I hated my dogs every time I had a new baby - in that baby blues time I found them inconvenient, smelly, irritating etc, but that passed and I would have hugely regretted rehoming them.

I think that as you have offers of two good homes for this dog, I would rehome him.

I think it would be kinder to let him go to one of the homes that have been offered. Sounds like you and DH have a lot on your plate and will have for some time