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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I a lesbian?

18 replies

hadntbeen · 14/01/2023 22:31

I keep having sec with my female friend (both completely single) after a few drinks. I tell myself I don't and then it always happens. I would be up for a relationship with a woman but she has said she wouldn't.

Last night it happened again and she stayed till around 4 pm today.

Last night she said that she was imagining being with me all day and that she wants to do this sober rather than just when we've had a drink.

I agreed, today after she left we exchanged messages and she has asked if I'm free tomorrow for her to come over. I've said yes but I feel awkward, I feel uncomfortable. Am I being ridiculous? Does this mean I am a lesbian?

OP posts:
ofwarren · 14/01/2023 22:32

Are you attracted to men? If you are, you are bisexual

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 14/01/2023 22:34

Sounds like you’re lesbian or bisexual. Stop stressing about labelling yourself. Why does it matter?

Hunter2501 · 14/01/2023 22:34

Don’t think about putting a label on it. If you like her and want it to continue then see how it progresses.

PearPickingPorky · 14/01/2023 22:37

If you are only ever sexually attracted to women, then yes, you're a lesbian.

If you are or have also been sexually attracted to men, you're bisexual.

(Assuming you are female, of course).

Onnabugeisha · 14/01/2023 22:38

You probably are lesbian or bisexual. However, the same rules of consent apply for sex with women. She shouldn’t be getting you drunk to get you in bed or pressuring you for sex in a way that leaves you feeling awkward and uncomfortable. I think you probably need to reflect on what is going on really and not feel like you have to do anything you don’t enthusiastically want to.

underneaththeash · 14/01/2023 22:39

This reply has been deleted

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FeinCuroxiVooz · 14/01/2023 22:41

you don't need to label yourself if you don't want to, but if you are going to be choosing labels then the word "single" isn't necessarily quite the right one for someone who has a friend that they regularly have sex with and want to spend more time together with.

Original poster
hadntbeen · 14/01/2023 22:42

This reply has been deleted

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Report me then.

OP posts:
AbsolutelyLividDarling · 14/01/2023 22:44

(Assuming you are female, of course)

And therein lies the rub Hmm

Original poster
hadntbeen · 14/01/2023 22:53

AbsolutelyLividDarling · 14/01/2023 22:44

(Assuming you are female, of course)

And therein lies the rub Hmm

Once again, report me to MNHQ.

OP posts:
IDontCareMatthew · 14/01/2023 22:55

So lay off the drink and see what happens?

mynamesnotMa · 14/01/2023 23:21

What is sec?

IDontCareMatthew · 15/01/2023 00:27

Assume typo for sex?

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 15/01/2023 00:38

mynamesnotMa · 14/01/2023 23:21

What is sec?

Are you seriously not able to deduce from the content of the post?

Nicecow · 15/01/2023 00:40

You're single and I'm assuming it's good sex. You don't have to label it, just enjoy it 🤗

Quincythequince · 15/01/2023 00:41

This reply has been deleted

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Itisbetter · 15/01/2023 00:43

A lesbian is someone who only likes sex with females and is female. If that’s you, you are a lesbian.

Anon778833 · 15/01/2023 09:37

hadntbeen · 14/01/2023 22:31

I keep having sec with my female friend (both completely single) after a few drinks. I tell myself I don't and then it always happens. I would be up for a relationship with a woman but she has said she wouldn't.

Last night it happened again and she stayed till around 4 pm today.

Last night she said that she was imagining being with me all day and that she wants to do this sober rather than just when we've had a drink.

I agreed, today after she left we exchanged messages and she has asked if I'm free tomorrow for her to come over. I've said yes but I feel awkward, I feel uncomfortable. Am I being ridiculous? Does this mean I am a lesbian?

Why do you feel uncomfortable? Are your family and friends homophobic?

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