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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think taking children to weight loss groups is wrong?

79 replies

EmmaGrundyForPM · 14/01/2023 10:47

I'm posting here rather than on the weight loss boards as it seems more appropriate.

I've recently joined a weight loss group. It's one of the "big name" ones with weekly meetings. I don't want opinions of the merits of these groups, but I am concerned about one aspect.

At the first meeting I went to, there was a child present, about 9 or 10 years old. Their mum was a group member, child sat through the group and played on their iPad throughout the session. Everyone gets weighed, lots of talk about how much people have gained or lost over Christmas. Then some "motivational" words from.the group leader.

Today I went to a different group (same leader) as I couldn't make the usual one. There were more children this time, and younger - I'd say maybe 5 - 8 year olds. Again, lots of talk about sticking to the diet, importance of thinking about what you're putting in your mouth/body, lots of clapping for people who'd lost weight.

AIBU for thinking that under 18s shouldn't be allowed in these groups? I appreciate that they are not taking part as such, and it's not aimed at them, but I'm concerned that they are picking up messages around dieting and weight loss.

I know it's really difficult if people are single parents and can't afford or arrange a babysitter, but there are online options which have got to be better, surely?

OP posts:

MissHavershamReturns · 14/01/2023 10:48

YANBU - I think it’s really inappropriate.

BeanCounterBabe · 14/01/2023 10:49

It’s inappropriate and distracting having small children running around. It’s one of the reasons I stopped attending.

Heartsofstone · 14/01/2023 10:51

Yabu weight loss is not a taboo subject. Many people, including myself are fat, overweight, need to loose 2/3 stone, call it what you want…. Pretending otherwise is not helpful. Having an awareness of learning healthy eating habits and self control is not a bad thing.

grafittiartist · 14/01/2023 10:51

Yes- I dont think that they should be hearing it all. Difficult.

AHelpfulHand · 14/01/2023 10:51

I would have no problem with it, in fact it’s very good for children to learn about healthy eating and the importance of keeping, and maintaining a healthy weight.

Original poster

EmmaGrundyForPM · 14/01/2023 10:52

It's one thing to talk about healthy eating, it's another to have children listening to people applauding weight loss without any context.

I'm.there because I'm overweight, I can listen to the talk and make my own mind up, but I'm an adult

OP posts:

Original poster

EmmaGrundyForPM · 14/01/2023 10:54

BeanCounterBabe · 14/01/2023 10:49

It’s inappropriate and distracting having small children running around. It’s one of the reasons I stopped attending.

To be fair, they all sat down and behaved. One little boy immediately wanted to know how much his Mum had lost this week and was quite vocal about it, but otherwise they were quiet.

OP posts:

LlynTegid · 14/01/2023 10:55

If the alternative really is not attending, then it is the least worst option.

Whatwouldscullydo · 14/01/2023 11:20

I understand the concern. But presumably the parent attending wants to lose weight and become healthier to be able to play with their children, take them out, and be around for their children long term.

I'm.sure uts probably the lesser of two evils tbh. If the alternative is that they don't attend and continue in their unhealthy habits and gaining weight which can leave people to incapacitated to even manage the basics for their children.

They are trying to help themselves and their families. Its not like they have taken them to the pub and are getting pissed.

80smercedes · 14/01/2023 11:22

If it's the "big name" weight loss group I'm thinking of, then children are allowed to join as members from the age of 11. They don't pay, or have their weight discussed in group, but they get weighed weekly. They follow a different plan that focuses on making healthy choices. It's something I have always felt uncomfortable with (I used to run my local "big name" weight loss group for a while).

Everydaywheniwakeup · 14/01/2023 11:27

If I didn't have childcare, I used to take DD and just get weighed rather than stay for the meeting, but that was because it was boring for her, not because it was inappropriate. She knew I was fat, and knew I was trying to lose weight, didn't have an issue with that.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 14/01/2023 12:01

I agree but I got pulverised on MN for saying that as apparently it’s fine for those who can’t hear because of screaming kids to have to quit the group but if a mum has to quit because she can’t bring her baby and toddler then that’s anti-feminist or something.

MrsSkylerWhite · 14/01/2023 12:02

Agree with you, wouldn’t have wanted our kids listening to that.

BigFatLiar · 14/01/2023 12:07

fitzwilliamdarcy · 14/01/2023 12:01

OH goes and his complaint about noise isn't children but all the women who sit and gossip the whole time getting louder and louder. The children apparently are fine the lady who runs it has a table and chairs set up with coloured pencils and pictures to colour. Besides he likes babies and toddlers, just gets a bit sad that they grow up and become people.

Moomoomeemee · 14/01/2023 12:07

I think it's inappropriate. I know people will say there are too many fat people, including children, obesity epidemic etc, but....these groups have been going for decades now and children have always attended themselves or been brought along by parents. I think a lot of people from my generation remember that and not fondly.

So yanbu. I don't deny there are plenty of people who are fatter these days, but that doesn't make bringing kids to weight loss groups is appropriate.

As a pp says, I'm sure it isn't great for the other group members either.

Moomoomeemee · 14/01/2023 12:09

Ugh excuse all the grammatical errors. I'm half asleep today

ScarlettSunset · 14/01/2023 12:14

I took my son with me when I went as a single parent and the only class I could get to was on the way home from collecting him from school. Several of his school mates were also there with their parents. They used to just sit and play together.
I lost weight, he played with his friends. Other people may have disapproved, but I had no other way to attend (no online options back then and I think in class was better anyway).
Single parents have enough to deal with without being excluded from groups that could help with their health.

Jessandtess · 14/01/2023 12:17

Tbh most of the big named groups allow children to join in terms of being members, so not sure how you’d manage that.

At my slimming world group there are a few in their mid teens doing the more child friendly plan

MrsCarson · 14/01/2023 12:20

Kids won't be taking a blind bit of notice at a meeting like this with people talking about weight loss. It's not a long meeting, hiring a babysitter if you have no one to watch kids for a short time can be out of many peoples budgets.
Ignore the kids, chances are they are ignoring the lot of you.

DiddyHeck · 14/01/2023 12:23

It's one thing to talk about healthy eating, it's another to have children listening to people applauding weight loss without any context.

Surely they can actually see the context with their eyes? People who are overweight and therefore need to lose weight to be healthier?

This country is fucked up when it comes to weight. Roughly 63% of adults are overweight/obese and yet kids aren't supposed to know that some of those people need to attend groups to change that?

If people stopped all this taboo nonsense around weight and needing to lose some, things would be a lot easier all round.

Twizbe · 14/01/2023 12:27

I used to take my children to slimming world. Granted they were under 1 at the time so doubt they listened much.

It was either that or don't go. For some of those parents it might be the same issue.

Stressfordays · 14/01/2023 12:28

Took my children with me when I went. I'm a lone parent. My youngest was a week old when I rejoined so obviously came with me. They still sometimes go with my Mum. Just because I had no childcare, doesn't mean I couldn't attend something that was important to me. I'm able to maintain my weight now without the groups but at the time I did need them.

Stressedmum2017 · 14/01/2023 12:28

Yabu, a 10 year old seeing a bunch of overweight adults be supported to make healthier lifestyle changes is not going to give them an ED. I say this as someone recovered from anorexia which started really young and then bulimia. And let's be real for a second what sort of 10 year old with an ipad is going to be the remotest bit interested in listening to the virtues of swapping white grain rice for wholegrain?

MuggleMe · 14/01/2023 12:43

I'm open about my 'weight loss journey' with my 9yo. I talk about the importance of being active and making wise food choices on your health, and that since I've made poor choices in the past, I have extra fat that is not helping me have a healthy body. But that she has been making good choices and her body is healthy. So I don't worry about her listening in group (not that she goes).

Mariposista · 14/01/2023 12:56

If the person attending is a single parent and has no other choice, I would rather her bring the child (provided it wasn't disturbing and has a book/toy with them to entertain themselves), rather than not come to the class and potentially change their life habits for the better. Being overweight is so damaging to your health, and if you are a parent, you need to be healthy for both you and your kids.

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