Maybe it’s just me, am I insecure?

[JulietJulietWhere]

Just a quick AIBU.

So not sure whether it’s me being insecure as I have form for being a bit of a ‘princess’ or whether DH is being a disrespectful arse.

On holiday at the mo and watching all those silly Shows in bars but whenever a man comes on the stage topless absolutely loving himself I always make conversation with DH or go up to the bar to a drink not because DH says anything I just feel uncomfortable giving another male attention. When a lady comes on the stage ‘you know those really tacky shows’ DH completely ignores me stares at the stage literally like right at them full attention, open body language. I just think it’s completely disrespectful and quite creepy behaviour.

The same happens everywhere, if we are out and a good looking guy comes into our path e.g on the beach or by the pool, I will deliberately turn the other way not to give this person any attention (not that DH has asked it’s just morally feels wrong) but when the attention seeking women come along he won’t even think to just discretely turn his back or give me more attention etc it just feels like he’s constantly open to anyone and everyone receiving his attention at the detriment of me but then I may just be insecure.

AIBU or insecure?

Everyone scurry*

Name change fail!

That was meant to be everyone scurry, not Everton

But I don't think your partner is being a creep. I think you just need to chill out a bit!

@LucyMcAndrew @BatshitCrazyWoman @Aprilx

I made the holiday comment thinking of a recent experience. It wasn't Butlins! It was a 5* resort in Turkey where there was an outdoor nightclub and various other entertainment.

By the bar there was a wall with chairs attached to it at various heights and very scantily dressed women sat on them like ornaments. There were also women dancing in thong leotards.

In the daytime there was an adult only pool and there were women in thong bikinis dancing on the bar so if you looked up when ordering a drink it was quite an eyeful.

I'm sure the natural reaction for most men would be to stare at/watch these women but I appreciated the fact that my dp feigned nonchalance and held conversations with me rather than staring at their bums. The odd glance is understandable but it sounds like op's partner would have behaved differently.

I appreciate not all holiday resorts are like this and I was a bit surprised but I have seen similar in other places.

😂😂😂

good one op

one of the females dancing directly towards where me and DH are sat. He lets go of my hand, repositions himself sprawled out, legs wide open and any further conversation is initiated by me.

It’s the leg spreading for me. Definitely creepy af. 🤮

whenever a man comes on the stage topless absolutely loving himself I always make conversation with DH or go up to the bar to a drink not because DH says anything I just feel uncomfortable giving another male attention

Absolute gold. You’re so good looking you have to avert your eyes from all men.

They might start throwing themselves at her feet if they see her amazing face, so she has to hide. Poor love. Maybe a full burker would be more appropriate? 😆

You’re not just insecure, you’re fucking weird too.

Unless there is a reason (trauma, cultural) why on earth do you avert your eyes at a man on stage? Very peculiar

You are extremely insecure and are making your DH sound like a creep.
From comments you have made I’m more likely to believe your dh is actually just watching the entertainment and behaving normally and you’re imagination is going into overdrive and seeing something the rest of us wouldn’t.

I am interested in why you picked a place that has a load of embarrassing shows where you run to the bar if a mail comes on stage and he focuses on all the female entertainment

I think I would rather be at home than have to sit through this type of thing.

Whereabouts are you on holiday in January

She is probably somewhere warm, like half the hemisphere is currently

I find it really odd when women (especially those over 18, so not girls) call other women 'females'.

The old husband with his self-proclaimed beauteous ‘young girl’ 🫢 wife sounds rank, with his fixed stare and spread legs. Yikes.

They don’t. Men do.

The OP does and apparently she's a woman?

You are both behaving weirdly.

I would look at a random topless Love Island type guy the same way I would look at a random middle aged man in a suit. Averting your gaze is bringing attention to a sexual element.

If he's ogling women while sat with his gorgeous younger gf then he's a creep. But he does that because you're insecure enough to accept it. A normal respectful man would look at the random sexy Love Island type woman the same way he'd look a a random middle aged woman who is fully clothed. Looking at a sexy woman doesn't mean he wants to fuck jet. He is looking because they are on stage (which by definition commands attention even if it's just until it's been determined if they are any good at their act)

Not just insecure but incredibly shallow. You do realise that love in relationships is more than just the outside packaging. Your older man sounds just as shallow if he ogles other women, what is his past dating like ? Does he always move onto the next beautiful young thing once his current squeeze reaches their sell by date a la Di caprio ?

I would say run a mile, grow up a bit and look for a relationship where you value more than just looks !

My thoughts exactly.

Hairy trucker called Dave on his Spanish hols vibes.

So he claims. 😉

What a pair of (gorgeous, apparently) weirdos. I'm glad you two found each other OP, you sound well suited.

It’s probably the Canary Islands. All inclusive with the usual crappy cheap cabaret acts. They’re family friendly and not at all sexual or provocative, but you might get some shirtless grease ball fire eating or spinning plates, and can can dancers 👯‍♀️ or women in grass skirts and bikini tops doing a hula type dance. Far from the moulin rouge, but in OP’s eyes it’s practically soft porn 😂 Bless her

You are extremely insecure, also your husband is a bit disrespectful and creepy. If my husband did that I would tell him it looks creepy when he does it. But your behaviour is drastic and I bet you actually do the opposite of making your partner feel comfortable because you make it physically obvious that you find someone hot because you look away every time. But it doesn't matter if you look at someone hot, the world keeps spinning and your husband clearly doesn't care.

You both need to find a middle ground, your acting like an insecure teenager and he's acting like an old creep. He isn't helping you to be fair but I promise you if he looked away every-time you'd pick up that pattern and continue with this insecurity regardless. So based on that it's time to work on yourself and your own self esteem. Tell him to stop being such an obvious letch as it's disrespectful for everyone involved but seriously work on yourself.

If this is genuine, then you really don't have any reason to feel insecure. Creepy older men like your husband are a dime a dozen. 'Pretty young girls' who want them are hens teeth. You could no doubt replace him in a heartbeat. If I were you I'd make sure he understood that very clearly, and started behaving more respectfully towards you. (As an aside, how can you stand it? The open legged leering...does that not make you a bit queasy?)

Apparently. 😉

He sounds like a letch and you sound deeply insecure.

I'm bisexual do find men and women attractive. By your standards I should be walking around with my eyes closed!!

It's so odd that you refuse to look at a man if he's attractive.