Maybe it’s just me, am I insecure?

[JulietJulietWhere]

Just a quick AIBU.

So not sure whether it’s me being insecure as I have form for being a bit of a ‘princess’ or whether DH is being a disrespectful arse.

On holiday at the mo and watching all those silly Shows in bars but whenever a man comes on the stage topless absolutely loving himself I always make conversation with DH or go up to the bar to a drink not because DH says anything I just feel uncomfortable giving another male attention. When a lady comes on the stage ‘you know those really tacky shows’ DH completely ignores me stares at the stage literally like right at them full attention, open body language. I just think it’s completely disrespectful and quite creepy behaviour.

The same happens everywhere, if we are out and a good looking guy comes into our path e.g on the beach or by the pool, I will deliberately turn the other way not to give this person any attention (not that DH has asked it’s just morally feels wrong) but when the attention seeking women come along he won’t even think to just discretely turn his back or give me more attention etc it just feels like he’s constantly open to anyone and everyone receiving his attention at the detriment of me but then I may just be insecure.

AIBU or insecure?

one of the females dancing directly towards where me and DH are sat. He lets go of my hand, repositions himself sprawled out, legs wide open and any further conversation is initiated by me.

🤮

You’re both weird, just for different reasons.

When the weather woman comes on tv (can't remember her name but she's gorgeous) dh obvs fancies her so I stare at him and tell him not to look (jokingly) but I see him peeping. Most men stare, they can't help themselves. I'm like you though I look away in those situations as to not make him feel uncomfortable, I don't know why, it wouldn't bother him. He doesn't look away though 🙄. It use to bother me but not anymore.

Your husband sounds horrible but you sound like your ego is just bruised that he’s not constantly staring and marvelling at his younger, oh so pretty wife. It’s like he should be grateful to be with you.

Nobody said unattractive, he's a 'head turner' literally the most beautiful man you will ever see.

Hence all the 'peacocking' we are both attractive but I refuse to give any other man my attention. Just seems morally wrong to DH.

This must be a joke.

He is a real creep and your behaviour is unbelievably odd.

What kind of place is this that has soft porn shows every night? Go somewhere else in future that doesn’t have these acts.

You both sound very odd.

😂

This post is getting weirder by the minute. Is this actually a wind up?

He’s the most beautiful leering creep you’ve ever seen, and you’re the most beautiful, insecure young girl that men fall at your feet when you’re sat in a cafe? 😂 You’re weird. Both of you.

But he can't be a creep and me be insecure.

Either he is a creep and it's not me or I'm being ridiculous and I'm insecure, hence the post.

But you said earlier he never gets any attention? How can he simultaneously be a ‘head turner’ and beautiful yet apparently constantly ignored by the opposite sex?

Your behavior is really odd. Shows are to be watched 👀

Every thread I comment on turns out to be a troll so I imagine you are one too.
However, if you are real I will ask why you’d go to a show like this if you’re so insecure?
It sounds like you and you partner are god’s gift to mankind so why aren’t you spending time alone peacocking each other??
also, I’ve seen the most beautiful man in the world myself and I can guarantee it isn’t your husband!
but as I said, every thread I comment on turns out to be a troll so…

Your behaviour is odd, looking away because someone attractive is on stage/on the beach? What's going to happen if you look? I really couldn't care less if my husband looks (and my husband couldnt if I did), in fact hot women at the beach I'll point out "ooo look at the bum on her" I usually get "already clocked her" 😁. I don't care as I'm not remotely insecure and don't think anything of ogling. If there is something to admire I will look too.

Bonkers.

Got it in one. Completely agree.

No, both of those can be true.

But wouldn't it make you feel a bit queezy, for example if I was that girl and your man was ogling me, I would think I could have him with the click of my fingers and you were a poor f*er because you're stuck with a man that ogles everyone.

That's why I don't agree with it, if any girl had that though about my DH it would make me feel ill.

Ah this is what mumsnet has been missing. It's all been so serious & cantankerous around here lately. A few glasses of wine and a bonkers Friday night thread is just what I needed.

A man looking at a woman doesn’t mean he wants her or that he’d drop his wife for her. Sometimes it’s just a look. Sometimes it might be an admiring look yes, but nothing more than that. If a man sends a brief glance your way it doesn’t necessarily mean you could have him with a click of your fingers. And there’s a difference between looking and outright leering.

I think you have a strange way of seeing the world, OP, you sound quite naive in all honesty.

I understand op. Women (and sometimes men) are sexualised on stage in holiday resorts when you haven't necessarily sought it out. Going to a burlesque show or strip club together is completely different.

When it's suddenly thrust upon you and you're with your partner it's only polite to pretend you don't have much interest in watching a member of the opposite sex whose only reason for performing is because they're physically attractive.

Both I and my dp would avert our gaze a little and make sure the other person knew we were more interested in their company than gawping at the flesh on stage. Not in a weird way but enough to show we were signalling a positive reinforcement of our relationship.

Maybe you could both walk around with balaclavas & blinkers on. That way he couldn't look at anyone, no one would be distracted by this man's beauty & you could go about your day without men falling over themselves to catch your eye & ask you out?

I also think bit of both.

There's a balance between being respectful and being prudish. You needn't avert your eyes but your dh is being pervy and disrespectful

I think.if he's ogling which is what it sounds like and it bothers you then that's rude and disrespectful. But if someone just happens to walk by, it's more weird if he looks away if he's just normally looking like he would at an unattractive person too