To think this is a little off

[mrsmacn]

3 of my close friends went on a holiday last year. I couldn't go as I couldn't get my child looked after for the 5 nights.

Was talking to said friends a few weeks back about a holiday for this year and it was agreed it would only be for 3 or 4 nights so that I could go this time.

This afternoon I get a call from one of the friends to say that her and one of the others had seen very cheap flights abroad and had booked them, other friend was going to book shortly and she gave me flight details so I could book.

I've just checked the dates and my child's birthday is slap bang in the middle of the holiday.

I obviously won't be going now due to this but AIBU in thinking dates should have been discussed and agreed first? I wasn't expecting anyone to be booking flights until this had been done!

I'm confused. You say friend gave you details so you can book? But also that they booked the flight?

Oh right. Sorry I misread. You were all booking individually but no dates were confirmed and one of them just went ahead and booked flights without checking.

Did they know the birthday? Tbh if it’s a great deal why would they miss out due to a birthday in your family ?

They don't have kids right?

Do you have to go for the entire time? Can't you go for a couple of days?

To put it bluntly, you're friends don't give a shit about your child or his/her birthday.

Just don't go. And tell them why.

Yanbu, that’s really crap of them, and obviously a sign they don’t care that much either way if you’re there or not. Which is crap and I’m sure feels really shitty.

I honestly don’t know why anyone would book when it’s supposed to be a group holiday, if they haven’t discussed with everyone going. It’s more, they want to go away, and if you can make it you can make it, as opposed to planning to go away together. I’m sorry, it’s really rubbish and thoughtless of them

Surely your child can gave a birthday party on another day? I'd go and celebrate the birthday either earlier or later. Your friends aren't being unreasonable to go for a good deal

Would you leave your child on her/his birthday to go on holiday with your mates? Are you a mother?

It’s not crap of them at all. Why is it their issue it the ops child’s birthday.

Because they’re supposed to be her friends 🙄

I'm guess I'm just a little upset as it was agreed that I'd be going on the holiday this year. And no, I wouldn't go away with my friends over my child's birthday!

They are not very nice friends.

Because it means she can’t go with them, again.

I don’t understand why people aren’t getting this. It’s thoughtless behaviour from these so-called friends

If they'd seen them and just grabbed them, but then are still planning on going away as a 4 as planned then YABU, but if this is in place of the one that you've all discussed then YANBU

did they even know if was your childs birthday?
how old will they be

No one starts booking holidays without consulting everyone in the group, there could be a multitude of reasons why a date isn't suitable.

Why does no one pick up the phone anymore?!

”Hi OP sorry to call when you’re at work, quick question: have seen amazing deal of £123 for x date, is that ok for you?”

“Oh no! That’s dc’s birthday”

”Oh does the week after work, the deal’s good for then too?”

”Sure! You book for both of us and I’ll pay you back.”

Your friends are selfish idiots.

They're not real friends. Ditch them.

Have the birthday celebration on a different day?

I know, the fact it is the dd's birthday is largely irrelevant to the situation that has occurred.

I don't think it matters whether they knew it was DCs b'day or not. It could be anything, a hospital appointment or a work thing that can't be missed/can't get leave approved.

To me, the point is this was supposed to be a holiday organised so OP could go (shorter duration) and they didn't bother to check if OP was available before booking the flights.

I can understand why OP is upset, I would be too.

It's not that it's OP's child's birthday specifically, but that they've booked without checking everyone is free. I wouldn't expect them to think 'oh better see if it's mrsmacn's child's birthday then', but I would expect them to think 'better see if everyone is free, can take that week off etc'.

This. I would be wondering if they have deliberately chosen those dates knowing the OP wouldn’t go. Just seems way too convenient finding cheap flights and booking it so quickly.

I'd invest your energy in other friendships op. Even if this is just carelessness on their part that's not something I'd want to be dealing with.