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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is discrimination?

59 replies

Perfumeofsummer · 13/01/2023 16:47

This is very outing as I’ve spoken to a lot of people about it but at this point I don’t care and just need some sympathetic ears (eyes) to help me feel better please.

My boss and colleagues are constantly ganging up to pick on me since I told them I’m pregnant. Most of the time they blank me and refuse to engage with me at all, so it’s them 5 against me every day. It makes for a very awkward, uncomfortable atmosphere and I spend all of my breaks crying in the loo. I didn’t get one congratulations, and no one has asked how I am, about my scans, nothing. But a lady who worked here in a different department was looked after so well, I assumed the company would treat me kindly too.

My boss and her boss have told me that they don’t care about my extra needs, that it’s not their problem if I feel unwell, they pile jobs onto me, even jobs we initially ruled out during my first risk assessment, and ignored me when I fainted and needed help to sit down last week, the grounds maintenance man helped me up.

They refused to pay me for an urgent maternity appointment, I reminded them it’s a legal requirement to pay employees for their maternity care, to which they responded ‘we don’t care you’re just causing drama you know we don’t know the rules about maternity care so it’s not our problem to find out’. I again reminded my boss it’s the law and I will seek legal action if I feel pushed to do this. She screamed in my face that I’m ruining their business and she regrets hiring me. (Payroll did pay me for it, but they believe I wasn’t.)

They are intent on bullying me to leave so I walk out freely and they haven’t got to pay me SMP or deal with any risk assessments. I refuse to be bullied out of my job, but I’m so stressed and unhappy I’m scared it will cause complications for my baby. I feel like I’m back at school being picked on by a gang of older teenagers. These are all women in their 40s+ who also have children and would not have liked being treated this way during their pregnancies. I’m the youngest at 27 and seem to be fair game as I got the impression they didn’t like me when I first started the job.

We don’t have a HR department to speak to, the managers are friends and meet every Friday night. I know they all gossip about me and call me names. One or two have let slip things they shouldn’t know, including some of my colleagues who I didn’t know spoke with them. They also know my dh name even though I have never given this information in work, so they have snooped on my social media accounts. (Now private).

I feel very alone and like I can’t trust anyone. I can’t leave because I need the SMP to survive. I have considered asking my gp to sign me off sick for the duration, but I am concerned about how it will affect my SMP. I feel physically sick at the thought of going in tomorrow (one Saturday a month on rota) and genuinely believe I’m not safe around these people as the aggression will get worse and worse as I grow bigger and slow down more. They will all protect each other regardless.

Can anyone advise me on the money side of things (sick pay vs SMP) so I can weigh up my options please, and if I have a case for discrimination how do I go about getting help? I have written everything in a book, dated and timed. I have already filled 9 A4 sheets with all the things they have said and done to me.

Everyone tells me to keep my head down and focus on my job, but the days drag slowly with them watching my every movement, and I feel very uncomfortable and upset just being there. I appreciate any replies, I just need someone to talk to.

OP posts:
Perfumeofsummer · 13/01/2023 17:22

Bumping

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 13/01/2023 17:28

How many weeks are you?
Your SMP is based on wages in weeks 17-25 of pregnancy and once you get past that stage you would get SMP even if you left work. Or you could get signed off on sick leave after that point (after 25th week of pregnancy) without your SMP being affected.

LifeIsGreatForUnicorns · 13/01/2023 17:31

I’m sorry that you’re going through this - must be very hard for you 🌷
what sort of job is it?

ClangingBell · 13/01/2023 17:31

Are you in a union?

Brokendaughter · 13/01/2023 17:33

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Thingsdogetbetter · 13/01/2023 17:33

Contact ACAS who can advise and support and probably dirrect you to a lawyer who can take you on no win no fee hopefully. Get the buggers by their legal balls and then threaten to sue them for constructive dismissal for every penny they have. Wankers!!

MichaelFabricantWig · 13/01/2023 17:35

Depending on how far you are on in pregnancy going sick if you only get SSP msg affect your SMP yes.

contact Pregnant then screwed

pregnantthenscrewed.com

Southwig22 · 13/01/2023 17:36

You need proper advice on this. Certainly could be considered discrimination.

If you're in a union you need to get in contact with them ASAP, if not then ACAS or CAB.

I do think you need to consider what you want to get out of this. It doesn't sound like a tenable workplace.

MichaelFabricantWig · 13/01/2023 17:36

Sorry I meant to say that sounds absolutely bloody awful x

MichaelFabricantWig · 13/01/2023 17:37

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No she doesn’t! Don’t be so nasty

dementedpixie · 13/01/2023 17:38

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You dont sound very nice tbh

atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 13/01/2023 17:42

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What? No she doesn't she sound aware there are some hard fought for legal rights.

Good luck OP.

MooseBreath · 13/01/2023 17:45

I had something very similar happen to me. It was awful. I had been at my job less than 2 years, and as I couldn't prove beyond a doubt that they were trying to dismiss me because of pregnancy, there was nothing that could be done. I stuck it out as long as I could and handed in my form for SMP as early as I could. I was made redundant at 25+2 weeks, but because the form was in, they legally had to pay me (I needed to fight this).

Keyansier · 13/01/2023 17:49

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How on earth does she sound like hard work? Her managers screamed in her face, stalked her on social media, told her they didn't care about her or her needs, threatened her with financial penalties and didn't even help her up when she fainted all because she has the audacity to want to have a baby.

Are you in UK OP?

rainbowunicorn · 13/01/2023 17:50

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How on earth does OP sound like hard work. Do you actually think that what is happeningh to her is okay?

Chubbernut · 13/01/2023 17:53

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Good thing that the people dealing with her are at work then. 😁

OP, you don’t sound like hard work at all

Perfumeofsummer · 13/01/2023 17:54

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Perfumeofsummer · 13/01/2023 17:55

And I’m 14 weeks

OP posts:
Chickenly · 13/01/2023 17:56

I’m a lawyer OP (not an employment lawyer though) and I had an employer try to get rid of me when I was pregnant.

How much evidence do you have? Once you have enough, quit and make a claim for constructive dismissal.

MooseBreath · 13/01/2023 17:58

Honestly, get that SMP form in so that there is clear evidence that work is aware of your pregnancy. You should also ask for copies of your risk assessments. I would also make a request for all of your information by UK GDPR. Who deals with HR? For my work, it was external, and the person trying to get rid of me was the person in charge of dealing with HR...

PinkiOcelot · 13/01/2023 18:02

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How exactly?! You sound bitchy!

OP that sounds horrific. Are you making notes of everything that happened so far?

SquishyGloopyBum · 13/01/2023 18:02

Try pregnant then screwed.

Roundabout78 · 13/01/2023 18:03

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Cocochai · 13/01/2023 18:03

Contact Pregnant Then Screwed and ACAS.

What kind of workplace is this that you think they could get physical?? How long have you been there?