To think this is discrimination?

[Perfumeofsummer]

This is very outing as I’ve spoken to a lot of people about it but at this point I don’t care and just need some sympathetic ears (eyes) to help me feel better please.

My boss and colleagues are constantly ganging up to pick on me since I told them I’m pregnant. Most of the time they blank me and refuse to engage with me at all, so it’s them 5 against me every day. It makes for a very awkward, uncomfortable atmosphere and I spend all of my breaks crying in the loo. I didn’t get one congratulations, and no one has asked how I am, about my scans, nothing. But a lady who worked here in a different department was looked after so well, I assumed the company would treat me kindly too.

My boss and her boss have told me that they don’t care about my extra needs, that it’s not their problem if I feel unwell, they pile jobs onto me, even jobs we initially ruled out during my first risk assessment, and ignored me when I fainted and needed help to sit down last week, the grounds maintenance man helped me up.

They refused to pay me for an urgent maternity appointment, I reminded them it’s a legal requirement to pay employees for their maternity care, to which they responded ‘we don’t care you’re just causing drama you know we don’t know the rules about maternity care so it’s not our problem to find out’. I again reminded my boss it’s the law and I will seek legal action if I feel pushed to do this. She screamed in my face that I’m ruining their business and she regrets hiring me. (Payroll did pay me for it, but they believe I wasn’t.)

They are intent on bullying me to leave so I walk out freely and they haven’t got to pay me SMP or deal with any risk assessments. I refuse to be bullied out of my job, but I’m so stressed and unhappy I’m scared it will cause complications for my baby. I feel like I’m back at school being picked on by a gang of older teenagers. These are all women in their 40s+ who also have children and would not have liked being treated this way during their pregnancies. I’m the youngest at 27 and seem to be fair game as I got the impression they didn’t like me when I first started the job.

We don’t have a HR department to speak to, the managers are friends and meet every Friday night. I know they all gossip about me and call me names. One or two have let slip things they shouldn’t know, including some of my colleagues who I didn’t know spoke with them. They also know my dh name even though I have never given this information in work, so they have snooped on my social media accounts. (Now private).

I feel very alone and like I can’t trust anyone. I can’t leave because I need the SMP to survive. I have considered asking my gp to sign me off sick for the duration, but I am concerned about how it will affect my SMP. I feel physically sick at the thought of going in tomorrow (one Saturday a month on rota) and genuinely believe I’m not safe around these people as the aggression will get worse and worse as I grow bigger and slow down more. They will all protect each other regardless.

Can anyone advise me on the money side of things (sick pay vs SMP) so I can weigh up my options please, and if I have a case for discrimination how do I go about getting help? I have written everything in a book, dated and timed. I have already filled 9 A4 sheets with all the things they have said and done to me.

Everyone tells me to keep my head down and focus on my job, but the days drag slowly with them watching my every movement, and I feel very uncomfortable and upset just being there. I appreciate any replies, I just need someone to talk to.

What sort of company is it.
Are they British. (Maybe other countries have different rules and don't understand UK laws)
Phone Acas and get advice.
Keep records of everything.
If it gets violent phone the police.

Really? No wonder your daughter is broken if this is how you speak about a pregnant woman who wants her rights!

OP, nobody is going to like what I'm going to say because I don't like it either. Is it discrimination? Yes of course. But unless I am missing the hard evidence you have of any of this, you will never prove it. And you will also never be up to a tribunal case - lengthy, stressful and pretty awful. And I'm going to be brutally honest - can you afford to put your baby at risk from going in to this bloody awful workplace for the smp? If there is absolutely nobody in the workplace to support you not a single kind word, are you really tough enough to front this out. I don't think so.

If you can't, the shame is on them. Tell your doctor what is happening and get signed off. I know money is tight for so many people now, and I don't want to appear blind to that. But no amount of money is worth a risk to you or to the baby.

Get the doctor to put anxiety and stress from workplace bullying on the sicknote then start a discrimination claim. You might get lucky and get a small payout. Nothing to lose in that attempt. But don't hurt yourself in the process. Money isn't worth this pain.

How long have you been with the company? How exactly have you been discriminated against, OP?

For example - have you been passed over for a promotion since you announced your pregnancy? Have you not been invited to meetings you need to attend and that you attended before you got pregnant?

Not asking you about your scans or looking at your social media accounts does not count as discrimination.

Are there credible witnesses who will confirm "aggression", "ganging up to pick on" you, telling you "that they don’t care about [your] extra needs, that it’s not their problem if [you] feel unwell, they pile jobs onto [you], even jobs we initially ruled out during [your] first risk assessment", "believ[ing] [you're] not safe around these people", "scream[ing] in [your] face that [you're] ruining their business and she regrets hiring" you, etc?

Having written comments is helpful; but, remember, it's your word against theirs so if you want to go the legal route you will need to provide evidence that will stand up in court. And the other side will have their evidence, too.

And unions generally will not take on cases that started before a person joins the union.

I used to be a union member and represented union members in their conflicts against management so I know from experience that this type of issue needs to be resolved in-house before going the legal route.

From what you've described, it sounds more a case of you don't like management and they don't like you.

Whereas you sound like a delight!

Ignore this OP.

I'd carry my phone in my pocket and start recording these abusive conversations quietly.

Then file a complaint and pursue compensation. You don't want to stay there.

When my boss screamed at me she was an inch from my face and she looked like she wanted to hit me until her boss came and told her to go outside. She has an awful temper and I think she would do something without thinking as clearly my pregnancy has triggered her.

it’s a cleaning company, I mostly work in the office but sometimes I clean, my boss comes and 2 others, as they’re often commercial places I can usually only do simple things but I have refused building sites which is what they kicked off about. It’s the office that things are nasty. I’ve been there for almost a year. Yes British, based near London.

The only physical evidence I can present is the documents refusing to pay me, although I was paid that time. Everything else is spoken or intimidating behaviour, no one will back me up that it is really happening so it’s just my word unfortunately.

I really appreciate all the replies and kind words, it means a lot.

The only physical evidence I can present is the documents refusing to pay me, although I was paid that time.

This isn't clear: were you or were you not paid?

ACAS are free and should be able to help you.

However, assuming you're not in a union (seems unlikely given where you work) have a look at all your insurance e.g. home insurance, car insurance to see if you have legal expenses insurance because you should get legal advice through that. Look at every insurance policy you own.

It sounds very much like pregnancy discrimination. It's hard to stand up for yourself especially when you feel so vulnerable.

The other options might be a law centre or CAB with a legal advice clinic but they might take a while.

Some local solicitors also do a drop in clinic once a week as well.

I honestly think that one well written letter from a solicitor might scare the pants off your employer and either sort things out or get you a pay off which included your maternity pay given how horrid they're being but you need to log everything in a diary - literally everything they say and if anything is on email print it out and put it in your handbag & bring it home & keep it safe. The diary and emails/other documents would support any potential claim or solicitor's letter alleging discrimination.

Good luck with your pregnancy op xx

I had a manager tell me that they knew what the law was (regarding disability discrimination) but that was just not how he worked. I reported it to my union whick kicked up such a fuss that heads rolled.

You are right OP, this is discrimination and it's disgusting. Best thing you can do is speak to your union, or join it asap, and get some proper advice/support.

Quveas Thank you for putting it in perspective. I know it’s a lost cause deep down, too many people are on my bosses ‘side’. Her boss has witnessed every nasty word and action towards me but of course she will deny it.
Florissant Thank you. I think because they are treating me so differently to everyone else, it’s what made me feel like they’re bullying me. I had no issues prior to this, although I suspected my boss didn’t like me she didn’t show it until my pregnancy. I know it’s not discrimination to be left out of conversations or nights out, but they intentionally make sure I’m aware I’m not welcome as part of their ‘gang’. I do try to overlook it and be mature but because it’s getting to me so much I just don’t want them to get away with it and ‘win’.

And unlawful discrimination.

I was paid eventually yes because when my boss sent my wage form to payroll they obviously knew I was entitled to it paid so they correct it and paid me. My boss isn’t aware this happened and still believes she got away with not paying me.

But their version is that your boss was mistaken, and it was corrected. So no issue.

Nice.

What exactly brings you to this conclusion??

Did you really make such a nasty personal attack on the OP - and then report them for responding?

Contact ACAS for free legal advice. Best of luck!

Thank you for the clarification on the payment, OP.

I'm not clear how you are being "treat[ed] differently to everyone else".

Yes, please speak to ACAS. It's interesting, I had a friend who worked for a small cleaning company and she was also treated really badly around her pregnancy. Essentially they wanted her to quit as the thought they would be off the hook for maternity pay. She ended up lawyering up and they backed down. Unsurprisingly she no longer works for them.

I do think that there are some small businesses that don't understand the laws around maternity and are pretty hostile to what they see as an additional cost. It is really poor business management, but you hear it dressed up as some fundamental attack on small business owners or similar.

Edit: Thanks, OP. I see that you mentioned not being included in conversations and evenings out but the latter does sound as though it is management only and you were not included in those events before you became pregnant.

lawyer daniel barnett has a phone-in on LBC on sats 9pm.
he specialises in employment law.

That's really awful, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I hope you are in a union so they can help.

Out of interest with the cleaning you say you can only do simple things and can’t go to clean on building sites now. Why is that?

Call ACAS and get advice on how to handle this - they will give you free advice on what to do.

Keep notes about everything that happens

SMP

If its really awful you can stop for maternity leave early. You can start maternity leave 11 weeks before your due date. You get 6 weeks of 90% of your normal pay and then £156 per week for the next 33 weeks.

Maternity allowance

If you resign or are sacked you can still claim MA which will pay £156 per week for 39 weeks.

But call ACAS is the best thing you can do

Chat to Pregnant Then Screwed, they'll be able to help.