House sale, 3 adult children, 1 with nowhere to go

[MakeMineALarge1]

So MIL passed away, she had 3 children ( all children 50 yrs +), I am married to one of them
Adult 1 - I am married to, both him and me in good jobs, 1 dependant child
Adult 2 - Single, decent job, mortgage free
Adult 3 - Single - never had a real job, works hard but plays hard and has never settled down, spend half the year skiing and then comes back lives with mum and goes back again in the winter

MIL passed away, house being kept on as if sold, child 3 will effectively be homeless ( they do have 2 children who both have homes and lots of friends, so wouldn't be on the street ) but he cannot buy the other 2 out and cannot afford to keep the house on his self - the house isn't worth a great deal, say £180,000 ball park figure, so if sold and split equally only £60,000 each, which wouldn't be enough to buy him a place, but would cover rent for a good while until i presume benefits kick in?

Adult 1 and 3 are not pushing for the sale and they will not see number 3 homeless, but this can't go on forever ( its all very recent) I am not getting involved, but would be interested in knowing what others think.

Also this situation very much mirrors my own family with my sibling being very much like adult 3 and I may be facing this conundrum in the future.

First reply nails it.

Understand you don't want to push DH but it might be worth a bit of research to establish whether adult 3 has or will get any rights to the property if they live in it for a certain amount of time. This would focus the minds of DH and his other sibling.

It’s only really the business of the children involved. I assume at some point 1 and 2 will have had enough and want the sale.

Slightly confused about the skiing. Does he earn money doing this?
If he can’t afford two tents when he’s off skiing, sure the answer is to ditch the skiing and get a job here!

*rents!

… though a tent could be an option…

How I would love to spend half my year on holiday, half letting someone else pay all the bills and not work.

Time for Adult Sibling to grow the hell up and realise it's not his siblings' responsibility to continue to baby him as his parents did.

Sell the house. Split the proceeds. Offer to help move his belongings.

Why on earth would you push that? It is the worst of both possible worlds for your DH and other sibling. They can’t release their equity but they also don’t get market rent for the house.

Meanwhile third sibling gets to live there for peanuts! I really would not go down that route because as PP say the longer it goes on the more likely your DH and other sib will be stuck with it forever and tough luck should your own circumstances change and make your DH want to sell. Renting sibling will only get older and less able to find a FT job or get a mortgage.

You also don’t know what might come in the next government regarding increased rights for tenants. If the situation is regularised by him entering a tenancy agreement, it may get a lot more difficult to increase rent or evict him (to be clear, I think that such reforms are for the most part a really good and much needed thing, but for a sibling who’s paying nominal rent and would get some cash out of the sale, no!).

OK, so £60k won't buy him much outright, unless it's in a really cheap part of the UK. However, it's a damp good deposit.

People are talking like he’s had his hand in your mum’s biscuit tin!

He’s been working 6 months of the year, in a ski resort. So he’s not lazy. Having a job you like doesn’t make you lazy.

For the rest of the year, it suited him to stay with your mum - and it suited her too. Depending on her age and personality, it probably suited your husband too. I have a 45yo sibling living at home, parents in 80s, other siblings are happy we don’t need to worry about falls, or someone to quickly notice if health deteriorates.

From what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound like he’s suggested he stay living there.

Your husband and other sibling shouldn’t jump the gun worrying, just say what they think about timing for going on the market - and take it from there. Given that it is his home, as a sibling I’d happily wait 6 months if the best thing for him was to sell after the winter work trip, whilst he’s also in the country to sort out accommodation, so he wasn’t coming back to no home.

He’s not done anything wrong in living there, to date.

Also OP has every right to have an opinion being married to one of the parties being taken advantage of.

I am answering questions as they come in, I am not pushing for the sale, I am genuinely interested in other opinions especially as I will be in a similar situation in my own family

Me and my husband have already said the money, if we get any will be put away for our children.

He does ski, but he also works out there general maintenance, taxi etc, lives quite cheap and cheerful, so not out skiing and drinking etc

We’re going to be in this situation one day, sell the house and spilt it 3 ways. If your sibling 3 is anything like our one, he’s already had his inheritance a few times over already. Who do you think has been subbing his lifestyle all those years?

If he cannot afford to pay two rents he will need to decide where his home is. I also cannot afford two mortgages- so I only have one home. I also cannot afford to ski for half the year, because I need to pay my mortgage.
i would not deprive my family if a good chunk of money so that sibling can have the life of Riley

Their is no reason for that nasty remark🤦‍♀️

Give it a good clear out and put it on the market in March. End of. This really isn’t a conundrum at all. 1+2 can force a sale if 3 gets arsey. 3 has no rights, bet he isn’t on the council tax bills!

This is down to the executor to sort out (whoever that is). If the will splits the estate between the three siblings, the house will have to be sold.
Not much to discuss, really.

My parents will was specifically worded that the property be sold and the proceeds even distributed amongst the beneficiaries. To avoid just this situation.
I would think that selling soon is the right thing to do. If not now, when would be the right time? Given that all the sibs are roughly the same age, there will never be a good time

I think that any arrangement that ties you financially or to a joint property should be avoided at all costs. The siblings need to express what they want. If your husband doesn't want to be tied then he needs to say that and then the other 2 or 1 can buy him out.
You will not be making anyone homeless. He has the means to not be homeless

My own view would be 2 options...

1. The house is sold right away
2. The resident sibling gets a period of time to sort himself out (his choice if he does or not), e.g. 3 years. He will pay the day-to-day costs of the house such as heating and council tax for that time, but the siblings will all share any structural costs - if there are any. At the end of that time, the house is sold.

Resident sibling gets to choose which one he wants.

Sell the property without the emotional decorations of sigh poor John , noone wants him now.

Taken advantage of?!
MIL is barely cold.
OP said it’s all very recent. If BIL takes a working skiing trip every winter then he was probably already there when his mother died, or committed to the accommodation he’d booked out there, and possibly the work.
You make it sound like he’s dug his heels in refusing to sell… and nothing OP has said suggests that’s the case.

@Testina No one is suggesting he has had his hand in the biscuit tin, you're right the arrangement suited both of them.
I don't want to see him out on his arse, none of us do.
We are however conscious that an empty house is vulnerable and is sucking up money due to insurance - there is money to cover this

Good grief WHAT conundrum?!

This isn't a sibling with physical or mental impairment. Just one who has had his bread buttered on both sides until now!

House on market now. That gives him notice to sort himself out. Proceeds split 3 ways equally and job done.

£60k would be a good deposit in investment property. Meanwhile he can ski and rent a room when in uk. Up to him really.

Let’s credit the MIL with some agency - the op says she enjoyed his company and if she didn’t she could have turfed him out.