Would this be a reasonable amount of food for you in a day?

[boilthekettle]

My mum is dying and I am so stressed out, as a result some days I'm really struggling to eat. I've just decided to eat whatever tempts me for now and not worry about quality and honestly I just seem to basically want stuff like crisps and toast. Being lacking in decent nutrition won't be helping with anything though.

Some days I can't face much at all from tension and nausea but in terms of amounts would the following do you?

Breakfast - 4 good big spoons of greek yogurt, two handfuls of blueberries and a banana

Lunch - slice of toast and piece of cheese

Dinner - 4 linda mccartney chicken nugget things, half a 'for 2' side of garlic chips (supposed to have a container of microwave greens but it smelled gone off so we didnt want to risk it) and two heaped spoons of Haagen Dasz ice cream.

Snacks - a packet of crisps waiting for dinner to cook, and half a pack of Munchies sweets/ chocolate in afternoon with cup of tea.

Bizarrely, my ability to drink plenty of water is also impaired, I normally drink loads but it's making me feel sick. Which I assume is also stress?

It’s not healthy food but it’s what you fancy so just go with it. It doesn’t really matter what else someone eats, but it will be enough to keep you going for now? Can you add in a multi vitamin for the time being,

I wish you and your family every peace and strength at this time.

ps I lived off haribo for days last year sat with my dying dad

But on the flip side, MN is also full of people saying they’re overweight and expecting two meals at weddings or full lunch when invited for “nibbles”

Breakfast and lunch sound ok, but not dinner. No goodness in chicken nuggets. I am totally sympathetic, my mum and I went through this recently with my gran, but getting anaemic and run down will not help you nor your mum, and you will feel so weak and so much worse. Try and get some veg/fruit into you and some protein - please don't rely on junk.

I didn't read @DinnerThyme's comment as being sarcastic, to me it just read like someone saying 'don't worry about it'

Even if it is closer to 1,000 than 2,000 it's doable while the op has so much on her mind and to deal with.

It'd be nice if people would stop bickering on this thread when OP's mother is dying.

Op, you eat whatever you feel like at this difficult time 💐

And the competitive undereaters are out in force!

I know you've said you aren't drinking much water at the moment, but if the mental space and appetite for 'proper food' isn't there could you try something like Huel or other meal replacement shakes/drinks? Not necessarily swapping out lunch for a shake, but if you had one and got that down okay, at least you'd know you'd had something with ostensibly some balanced nutrients in. Then if later you only fancy picking at some toast and crisps it's given you a base to work from.

When I've struggled with my appetite when under extreme stress I tried to have premade fruit smoothies in the fridge to make sure I was still getting some nutrients. Just eat what you can manage, your mum is your priority right now

Im so sorry about your mum. You're doing ok, managing to eat, and if you don't feel like drinking water maybe try hot drinks which are soothing, or satiating that sweet tooth with some iced tea, fizzy drink or squash.

Might not the healthiest, but you're eating all the food groups and enough to keep you going for now.

What a nasty shity response to someone who's Mum is dying.

OP Very sorry to hear about your mother. It's such a sad time for you. As others have said, eat and drink just whatever you can face - and a vitamin tablet would probably help.
Just two things:
a) when I was in hospital and recovering from a big operation, I said I was thirsty and a very kind nurse said 'I'll make you a cup of tea - it's more refreshing than water'. Surprisingly, I think she was right and I am not a great tea drinker
normally. So tea might perhaps be easier for you than water?
b) when my mother was dying, she spent her last few weeks in a hospice. They were very good to her - and to family members visiting. They had free - help yourself - tea and coffee and all kinds of small, tempting portions of homemade cakes and biscuits for visitors. They knew that in times of terrible stress people might not be eating properly and/or be exhausted and therefore turn to comfort food - and also that, as a previous poster has said, carbs are mild sedatives...

All the best.

It’s absolutely fine, as long as you don’t eat like this for the rest of your life. Sorry about your Mum. x

Sorry about your mum op, your clearly love her and I bet she adores you.
So I’m sure she would like her baby girl to be fit and healthy. Can you try and eat some healthy food just for her, to sort of honour her and be strong for her?
Just ignore me if you think this is a stupid suggestion.

And plenty didn't see it as mean. Why don't the people who wrongly did accept her clarification and also accept they got it wrong and move on rather than pick a fight with another poster?

This thread is ludicrous

breakfast is about 350 calories
lunch is 200
dinner is 350
rhe two big spoons of Hagen das is 216 min
bag of crisps and half a pack of munchies is another 200

so the op is eating about 1300 calories a day. Potentially more depending on the size of the cheese and the size of the scoops of ice cream and yoghurt.

it’s fine op. Not enough veg, but for a short period it’s ok. Your food intake is the last thing to worry about 💐

It's not very healthy but yes this would be enough for me I think as some of those items are high fat content.

Sorry about your mum. Don't add extra pressure to yourself x

hi OP. I’ve been in your situation and I mainly remember living on cheese sandwiches and Haribo. The problem I found was that when my mind and heart was so consumed with the failing health of someone else, looking after myself felt both selfish and irrelevant. Is there anyone around who can look after you a bit? Someone to make you dinner occasionally? Or make a big lasagne that you can eat over a week?

On zero exercise days (how most people live), at my age (mid 50s), I'd maintain my weight or have a slow weight loss on diet OP describes. Like 1 lb a week. So very sustainable, esp. given most mid50s adults need to lose at least 10 lbs to get down to a 'healthy' weight.

OP's description looks a little low for iron & Vitamin C, I suppose.

So sorry to hear about your mum OP. I would make life easier for yourself by just taking a multi-vit to fill in any gaps your diet might provide.
You are going through an awful time, don't spend it being down on yourself.

Are you veggie, OP ? Have you got someone doing a shop for you or can you get to a supermarket easily/delivery?

I would suggest boiled or scrambled eggs (with toast), porridge, and/or those ready-to-eat lentil/grain pouches which you can eat cold or zap in the microwave for a couple of minutes. Or vartons of fresh soup. All quite comforting textures, nourishing and easy to prepare.

If you're feeling tense that can make it hard to take large quantities of food/liquid. Can you try to sip regularly? You won't need as much, though, if you're not movig around so much.

Sorry about your mum. Don't beat yourself up about food.

Also - most ptocessed bread and breakfast cereals are fortified with vitamins

Op I’m really sorry to hear this. I’ve been through a similar trauma (along with many others) and the same day I held my loved ones hand and said goodbye I was off on a week long activity school trip where I literally ate a bowl of salad for dinner every day! My body coped fine, I have plenty of reserves.
during regular times I eat much, much more than one bowl of salad a day but you’ve more to worry about at the moment than your food consumption. You’re eating what you can manage which is plenty enough to keep you going for now, focus on other things at this moment rather than also worrying about this. You’re eating a version of 3 (small) meals a day plus snacks so at least you’re keeping up a calorie intake.
sending love 💐 I hope you have someone at home to give you a big hug. Take care.

I didn't eat much when my DM was dying - I think it's normal. But you sound like you're doing OK. Your appetite will come back. Try snacking on nuts rather than crisps so you're getting some protein. Herbal teas if water not appealing?

You're doing the best you can at a very difficult time.
If you do want some advice:
It depends on your height and weight, but I'd try and leave off the ultra processed food and up the nutrients so could you maybe manage some home made veg soup or Dahl for lunches instead of toast?
There's increasing evidence that your gut health directly links to mood and mental health as serotonin is produced in the gut. So I'd try and make sure the little I was eating was as diverse in veg, seeds etc as possible when feeling low (easier said than done I know)