Would this be a reasonable amount of food for you in a day?

[boilthekettle]

My mum is dying and I am so stressed out, as a result some days I'm really struggling to eat. I've just decided to eat whatever tempts me for now and not worry about quality and honestly I just seem to basically want stuff like crisps and toast. Being lacking in decent nutrition won't be helping with anything though.

Some days I can't face much at all from tension and nausea but in terms of amounts would the following do you?

Breakfast - 4 good big spoons of greek yogurt, two handfuls of blueberries and a banana

Lunch - slice of toast and piece of cheese

Dinner - 4 linda mccartney chicken nugget things, half a 'for 2' side of garlic chips (supposed to have a container of microwave greens but it smelled gone off so we didnt want to risk it) and two heaped spoons of Haagen Dasz ice cream.

Snacks - a packet of crisps waiting for dinner to cook, and half a pack of Munchies sweets/ chocolate in afternoon with cup of tea.

Bizarrely, my ability to drink plenty of water is also impaired, I normally drink loads but it's making me feel sick. Which I assume is also stress?

I didn’t read it as a shitty comment at all. I read it as ‘nothing to worry about’.

It seems like quite a lot of food to me and definitely not someone who is struggling to eat.
It obviously depends on person to person though and what each individual needs to maintain a healthy weight.
I’m short and petite and I’d likely put on weight if I ate what was described in OP but some may lose on it.

I’m guessing OPs priorities right now aren’t weight though so unless she’s under eating where it could affect her health and it definitely doesn’t sound the case, then now is probably not the time to worry.

Sure

It seems like quite a lot of food to me

I hate the MN competitive I’d we eating.

My kids eat more than the OP in a day. We are all slim and healthy.

What are people here who think this is a lot eat then?

@DinnerThyme don't worry, I understood what you meant.

OP, I think it sounds fine and I'm really sorry about your mum. If I were in your position I'd just eat what I fancy, when I fancy it. Your body will probably tell you when it fancies some fruit or veg anyway!

I hope everything goes as well as it can for you and your family.

Could you add in a protein ball from a health food shop. They do lots of yummy flavours and they are packed with protein.

The OP’s food is about 1,000 calories a day. When I see people saying it’s too much to eat, I understand why there’s eating disorders in the world

Sorry about your mum. Your diet is fine considering.

If it's filling you up at the moment then that's fine I think. I don't think there's anything to be gained by forcing yourself to eat more.

But generally speaking, I'd be starving by dinner if I just had one piece of toast for lunch. The breakfast and dinner seem ok (I'm not sure of the size of the Linda McCartney chicken nuggets you mention though).

There's making a shitty comment and there's making a shitty comment to someone who is struggling with her mum dying. Guess which your's is?

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet I’m not sure what your problem actually is with me. You misinterpreted my comment and I apologised and clarified what I meant. Others interpreted my comment the same way as you and some others interpreted my comment how it was intended.

It’s clearly not just over 1000 calories and your insistence that it is isn’t helpful to OP who’s presumably looking for reassurance rather than someone to pile on and tell her she’s not eating enough.

You seem determined to “call me out” when, to be honest, there’s nothing to call out. Your attitude isn’t helping the OP at all.

I’ve already apologised if my intention wasn’t clear or something happened to make me seem unkind. I appreciate my comment could’ve been interpreted two ways and I didn’t realise until you pointed it out - I apologised for the confusion and clarified. There’s nothing more I can do. OP can see my intention was to offer support and a genuine answer to her question.

It seems a reasonable amount. Sorry about your mum. I was the same but could barely eat at all. My dad was in the hospitals canteen enjoying whatever they had on special! We all react differently so Just eat what you fancy and look after yourself.

It’s clearly not just over 1000 calories

Breakfast - 205
Lunch - 188
Dinner - 335
Snacks - 304

Do you want a breakdown? In what world is yoghurt, blueberries, bananas, roast, a slice of cheese, a few chips and vegan nuggets, a pack of crisps and a bit of chocolate 2,000 calories?

OP if that's enough for you, then go ahead.

When my dad was dying, I ate a huge amount of junk food and still lost more than a stone from stress, you might get that too. But if you can't eat, you can't eat.

Re water, I normally have lots but also struggled with that, plus I was most of the day in the hospital or hospice and wanted to avoid using the loo when possible. So I had a an extra big glass when I got home
and first thing.

I think it's impressive that you are even thinking about nutrition, it will be fine.

Hugs if you want them.

Sorry to hear about your DM and I agree that there's no point asking about food on here because there's too many extreme opinions and competitive orthorexics falling over themselves to try and make you feel even more anxious.

Just do what you can and try not to worry about it. The vast majority of people outside MN eat a less than perfect diet and function perfectly well day to day. Yes I know some will be storing up health problems, but that isn't relevant to the OP, nor is what others think about what you're managing to eat right now. Just do your best, you mention lots of good stuff, yogurt, fruit, cheese, it's fine.

It’s also not ‘unhealthy’ food as you claim. On what planet is fruit unhealthy.

Given that there’s 170 calories in one Linda McCartney nugget, how do you add up to 335 calories for her dinner? Please stop telling OP she isn’t eating enough when she is. She’s worried enough without you trying to make her feel bad about herself.

OP, carbs are a natural mild sedative (hence sweet tea for a shock). If you crave crisps and toast and cornflakes, it is simply your body saying it's stressed and trying to calm things down a bit.

So go with it. Eat what you want.

Try to eat something healthy every day but honestly, don't worry about it. Just be kind to yourself and do whatever gets you through xx

I’m sorry about your mum OP.

When my mum passed i couldn’t eat anything except (bizarrely) chips and curry sauce every couple of days. DH did a lot of trips to the chippy to get me eating something at least!

So you are doing much better than I did. At least you’re eating, even if it isn’t the healthiest diet.

Please take a multi vitamin though. My diet always goes under periods of immense stress, but you need to feed your body and look after yourself to get through it.

Not really - could you add in a slice of toast at breakfast and maybe some soup with your lunch?

Totally understandable though that you're struggling to eat enough given what you're going through.

You are eating enough to keep you going, don't worry about that.

I had lost a lot of weight due to a serious illness, but I made the calories count. Full fat everything, butter, yogurt (they kept me alive!), and home made smoothies with added protein powder, porridge with cream, weetabix, soup etc. It was a struggle to get enough in for a while though. My issue was that for a time I had swallowing difficulties and nausea, partly from the illness, and partly from nerves because of the illness!

I survived fine and so will you. Just try to change the odd thing to a healthy something, and enjoy your chocolate or whatever treats. It is not the time to worry about what is right and wrong food wise. That can be sorted out later.

All the best.

It's a really fraught time so you're managing as well as you can.

Some good suggestions from pp about a multivit drink and alternative snacks.

@DinnerThyme didn't mean to offend, she just meant sounds OK in intake terms

@boilthekettle when my DM was dying I too survived handfuls of this and that and FAR too much wine. Just do your best and be kind to yourself. It's a really tough time and it's OK just to survive however you can.

@DinnerThyme you came across as unbelievably snarky and mean. Lots of us thought that, not just @LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet . If that wasn't your intention, refine your communication skills or avoid threads that need a modicum of sensitivity.

It wouldn’t be enough for me… (bmi is 22ish) maybe eat a bit more at each meal and add in some vegetables…

Lots of people also interpreted it exactly as it was intended. I appreciate, on re-reading, that it was unclear and I apologised immediately to the OP and to PP who pointed it out. It is somewhat odd that people feel so aggrieved by a comment they interpreted as snarky and mean, that was immediately clarified and apologised for, but those same people think it’s ok to be intentionally snarky and mean.