Would this be a reasonable amount of food for you in a day?

[boilthekettle]

My mum is dying and I am so stressed out, as a result some days I'm really struggling to eat. I've just decided to eat whatever tempts me for now and not worry about quality and honestly I just seem to basically want stuff like crisps and toast. Being lacking in decent nutrition won't be helping with anything though.

Some days I can't face much at all from tension and nausea but in terms of amounts would the following do you?

Breakfast - 4 good big spoons of greek yogurt, two handfuls of blueberries and a banana

Lunch - slice of toast and piece of cheese

Dinner - 4 linda mccartney chicken nugget things, half a 'for 2' side of garlic chips (supposed to have a container of microwave greens but it smelled gone off so we didnt want to risk it) and two heaped spoons of Haagen Dasz ice cream.

Snacks - a packet of crisps waiting for dinner to cook, and half a pack of Munchies sweets/ chocolate in afternoon with cup of tea.

Bizarrely, my ability to drink plenty of water is also impaired, I normally drink loads but it's making me feel sick. Which I assume is also stress?

I’m sorry to read about your mum, op. I think it sounds fine- eat what you can manage and try not to worry about it too much. It’s natural to lose your appetite.

Sorry to hear about your mum. When my brother was dying I had little interest in food and ate to survive and not for pleasure. Just do what makes life easy and be kind to yourself.

All the best OP. Just try to eat what you want when you can. My mum died in the summer and we nursed her at home for the last two weeks. We all drank too much really but it helped us at the time.

Please ignore people here saying you need to eat healthier.

I’m so sorry about your mum Op. When I was losing mine I couldn’t focus on anything and my diet was not a top priority either. That’s absolutely normal. You will recover your appetite with time, please try not to add that to your list of worries right now.

I’d also like to know how you calculated 2,000 calories, please.

I'm sorry about your situation and can completely relate. I'd always been a massive eater but when my mum died I spent weeks wondering how people managed to get their daily calorie allowance as I had no appetite.
My only bit of advice is maybe try to eat things that are more fatty, as fat contains 9 calories per gram, whereas carbs and protein are only 4 calories per gram. Double cream is a fabulously calorific option.

Stop gaslighting. You’re the only person here who has made an insensitive comment to OP. Do you normally struggle with tact or empathy?

OP, ordinarily that wouldn’t be enough food for the average woman and most of it is of poor nutritional quality, but it is normal not to feel like cooking or eating anything if you’re stressed, overwhelmed and beginning the grieving process. Any food is better than no food, and if beige convenience food is all you can manage right now then so be it.

I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum, do you have IRL support that you can lean on? Don’t be afraid to ask for help when people say “let me know if I can do anything”; I’d happily help a friend with shopping or cooking at a time like this. Perhaps someone could make you a big casserole with protein and veggies that you can reheat in portions?

Yep. To say it’s unhealthy is completely different (no vegetables, etc) but it’s clearly not excessive quantity wise.

A single slice of toast and a piece of cheese is not a meal, in my book.

I’m really sorry about your mum, OP.

Everyone needs different amounts of food, what your eat could be fine for some but way too little for others. Eating healthier will help your mood and stress though. I know it’s easier said than done.
Could you buy some healthier snacks to have at hand instead of the sweets and chips? Unless you’re seriously underweight you will likely be fine and adjust when your feeling better so I would try not to worry.

It reminds me of the Divorce Diet, OP. So long as you are managing to eat a bit of something (anything) every day, it will right itself once you are less unhappy and stressed. I wouldn't think about it at all. Just keep on keeping on.

I am sorry to hear about your Mum. Do you have someone looking after you?

Are you worrying about your diet as a distraction from the huge strain you are under?
That's OK - anything is OK right now, but you honestly don't need to worry about what you're eating (or not) at the moment. The whole "but you have to eat to keep your strength" thing does of course hold true, but unless you are already under nourished or you find you are fainting or unable to do what you need to do, you body will be able to handle it.

Eat what you fancy, when you like. If it's the food prep you can't be doing with maybe, when someone asks if there is anything they can do, ask them to prepare a meal for you.

THREE people is not lots. Catch yourself on.

OP, I am like you and can’t eat when anxious/stressed. I just don’t feel hungry. I tend to just pick at things rather than have big meals, milk shakes are usually something I can just about manage and crisps. When I am not anxious I am a pig and can eat loads.

Just try and eat little and often and keep sipping water. I lose weight quite quickly when I am feeling like this but I also gain it back quite quickly when my apatite returns.

Sorry about your mum.

Take a multi vitamin with iron as you don't really have any in that example and anemia will impact your ability to function and make you feel more anxious (fluttery heart).

It seems reasonable provided you are not already underweight.

Perhaps add a banana even if you have to force it down and peppermint tea is good for that low level nausea feel

Sorry to hear about your Mum, OP.

As to the food, just eat what you can. Don't worry, don't look for approval. Your body is going 'Ohhh fuuu...' about the whole situation. It'll make you crave veggies later on!

I'm one of those horrors who empathises by sharing their own experience - however, if it's of any comfort when I was splitting up with a long-term partner a few years ago I went a few months where I physically found it hard to eat, and believe me, I'm normally food-obsessed! I lost some weight, but it did all turn out ok once the first shock subsided.

It doesn’t sound much to me. But you have bigger things to worry about. Maybe invest in some smoothies to get some vitamins in and try not to get I’ll?

My appetite disappears when i'm stressed, it's like my throat closes up and so I think you're doing really well - obv that's not a lot of food objectively, but it's something and you've got some fruit in there which is good. My stress go tos are greek or plain yoghurt with tinned fruit like mandarins or pears. If I can be arsed I put nuts in too and I reckon for something that's pretty easy to make and swallow so maybe see if you could add a handful of walnuts or almonds to your yoghurt for a bit more protein. x Definitely try to drink more if you can. I find cold lemonade/pop/fresh OJ or posh fruit juices/lucozade - or even cold squash with ice cubes can be tempting. A few calories in a chilled vanilla full fat coke isn't going to hurt at this point and might be just the thing x I've made myself thirsty now! Sorry to hear about your mum x

Eat what you can, drink what you can and take a vitamin

Also I know it's not healthy but when I've just had nothing in the tank I've been tempted by a Big Mac or even just a plain cheeseburger - it's fairly small. warm and comforting and yes I know it's not ideal but if it means you go to bed with something in your stomach as opposed to nothing then you will wake up feeling slightly less awful.

Yes not a nice response, did you miss the bit where the OP said her mum was dying?

I'd be famished but I'm currently on a carbs and coke (a-cola) buzz so I'm famished all
the time. I think at the end of the day no one could tell you what the calories are because 4 spoons could be heaped tablespoons or they could be standard dessert spoons. Full day low fat. But if you're ok, not feeling weak or exhausted and eating tk what your body tells you then go for it

These threads are a shocker.

OP love you need some more veg but right now manage what you can. Quite a bit more than what other people eat indeed! A piece of toast and a piece of cheese for lunch, after a small yoghurt and fruit breakfast? It will keep you going but long term some whole grain and starchy / green veg in there will help with iron and fibre.

I've just posted on a thread about BMI and regretted it - the competitive anorexia on here is worrying.

I think in terms on quantity of food that amount is fine. So sorry to hear about your mum

Bless you.

That sounds like an okay amount tbh!

But just eat what you fancy.

I'm the same as you. Moments of heavy stress, my appetite just goes. A couple of years ago, whilst dealing with a sociopathic boss at work, I ended up losing a lot of weight.
My doctor recommended fruit smoothies to me, and milkshakes.

I'm sorry about your mum OP

Right now eat what you are able. You aren't going to do any harm eating a little less than normal or not getting your 5 a day for a short period. Don't add more stress into your life by worrying about your eating.