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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DH shouldn’t quit teaching?

143 replies

mindyk · 12/01/2023 11:43

Slightly misleading title.

My DH is an outstanding Maths (and Economics/Politics) teacher. He is specialised in Maths so can easily teach Further Maths A Level standard (basically all pre-Uni level stuff) he also runs a successful tutoring company.

DH is a bit of a martyr. We have lots of outstanding / grammar schools in the area which he refuses to go to, saying the kids at bad schools need him. As a result, the abuse, lack of care from the kids and general issues with the profession means he wants to leave.

DH says he will take a pay cut but I know him inside out, the only way he would take a pay cut is because he can supplement with tutoring, this means any job that requires you to work past 5pm or doesn’t allow a WFH finish at 5pm on the dot is not possible.

Any career ideas for him? This is his requirements:

  • WFH at least half the week
  • Minimum £40k salary (he’s currently on around £55k)
  • Must be able to run the tutoring which he must start by 5pm-ish each evening.

his current school finishes before 3pm, he doesn’t bring work home 95% of the time, marking is easy as most kids can barely answer more than 1 page of a paper and he never works holidays. He tutors most evenings from 430pm to as late as 9pm Mon-Thurs. I personally think he should try a better school, maybe take on less responsibility and teach as a back up.

He cannot do tutoring full time due to security and we plan to move in a year or two, once we’ve bought the bigger house etc. he can go self-employed full time.

OP posts:
Lackofsleepishurting · 12/01/2023 11:54

I'm following. Interested to know what jobs are out there. To be honest reading the above I wouldn't be too optimistic on getting all of those boxes ticked. A lot of jobs are stupidly underpaid! Then again, maybe a man would be able to negotiate a higher salary, and perhaps my expectations are chronically too low.

TheKeatingFive · 12/01/2023 12:14

40k will be hard to secure in an area where he has no specific experience.

He'd have to look at areas where his teaching background would be an advantage. Something like educational publishing maybe? Not sure what the opportunities might be there.

Leaving work at 5 isn't necessarily a problem, but most reasonably well paid jobs require a degree of out of hours working. If he's logging off at 5, tutoring in the evening, is he prepared to pick up the laptop for an hour or two after that? Sounds like a lot to handle.

Bluevelvetsofa · 12/01/2023 12:15

If his salary is 55K, he must be an experienced, long term teacher, with a post of responsibility and/or part of SLT.

Another school might offer the same salary, but I doubt he’ll be able to combine the tutoring with it. I think his hours are much fewer than the majority of teachers work. I don’t know of anyone in a position of responsibility that is able to finish so early and not work at home.

Original poster
mindyk · 12/01/2023 12:16

I think he looks to my job which earns double his and is less hours. But it took a horrific amount of work to get to where I am which he wouldn’t want to do, plus he hates my industry.

I was thinking along the lines of writing exam papers, working at an exam board or an economic think tank. But not sure what or how?

OP posts:
CringeCrush · 12/01/2023 12:17

Could he have a look at instructional design at a university? The salary might not be £40k straightaway but wouldn’t be far off, and most places offer WFH

TheKeatingFive · 12/01/2023 12:18

I think he looks to my job which earns double his and is less hours. But it took a horrific amount of work to get to where I am which he wouldn’t want to do

Exactly. You don't just land this kind of set up out of nowhere. It takes years.

Original poster
mindyk · 12/01/2023 12:18

@Bluevelvetsofa yes he’s SLT. He does get in to school for 630am which is earlier than other teachers so I suppose he does an extra 2 hours a day.

He also has a very heavy timetable (only 6 frees a fortnight) and regularly gets put on cover. So it’s not like he even has time in the day. He doesn’t need to make lessons as he made them all a while ago, and maths doesn’t really change. Also he knows every paper / question by rote so can easily do things on the spot.

He’s 34 so he has time for a career change too.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 12/01/2023 12:20

What job do you do OP?

Dixiechickonhols · 12/01/2023 12:20

Can he not just make the tutoring pay full time. I looked into physics tutoring for dd who didn’t have a teacher and the hourly cost was eye watering plus massive wait list.
We are in an 11 plus area so there are maths tutoring centres.
If he can do A level he could pick up sessions in day. Then tutor evenings, weekends and school hols.
Sort of switching his hours so he’d be off in a lot week and work when children are out of school.

FrownedUpon · 12/01/2023 12:22

At 34 he has plenty of time to retrain. Teaching is brutal, but if he’s already fed up with it at his age, it will only get worse.

TheKeatingFive · 12/01/2023 12:29

If he wants to get out of teaching, he needs to get comfortable with short term pain for long term gain - taking a pay cut to retrain.

If it's just about treading water for a while to secure the house move and then focusing on the tutoring, a new school would be a much better move.

Catapultaway · 12/01/2023 12:38

Some inconsistencies, he is an excellent teacher who won't leave because the kids need him but "marking is easy as most kids can barely answer more than 1 page of a paper".
He should leave, his hearts not in it, he's exactly the sort of teacher schools and the kids need rid of.
Hope he finds something he likes more.

thisplaceisweird · 12/01/2023 12:39

He could try and go into education technology as a learning designer or education consultant.

thecatsthecats · 12/01/2023 12:44

thisplaceisweird · 12/01/2023 12:39

He could try and go into education technology as a learning designer or education consultant.

Yes, I used to run an edtech company, and we targeted ex school staff.

We didn't pay 40k for someone who was wet behind the ears in technology though. I'm retraining myself now - I'm confident my background will help me move up the ladder fast in my new career, but I'm not delusional about starting lower down.

JennyForeigner · 12/01/2023 12:44

If he's a great maths teacher surely he would be snapped up as a subject director or similar for a MAT. Much more than £40k too.

whattodo1975 · 12/01/2023 12:45

Do you have children? Might be handy him staying as a teacher so can cover school holidays if you have kids.

Shinyandnew1 · 12/01/2023 12:45

marking is easy as most kids can barely answer more than 1 page of a paper

He’s an outstanding maths/economics/politics teacher and the kids can barely answer more than 1 page? Is he GCSE/A level? They don’t sound like they would be outstanding results!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 12/01/2023 12:47

If you alone bring in over 100k, then can't he just leave, bring in as much as he can via tutoring, and take the time to consider his next move?

Do you have kids?

growinggreyer · 12/01/2023 12:48

He is not an outstanding teacher if he thinks that he can churn out the same lessons every year because 'maths doesn't change'. He is lazy and he knows he won't be able to get away with that in a better school. Stop listening to his flannel. If he quits this job you will not be buying the house you have your eye on.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 12/01/2023 12:50

Maybe if he streamed his lesson plans better for the different abilities, the kids would be better taught? No school in the UK has all their maths students only answering one question right on homework. None.

IVFbeenverylucky · 12/01/2023 12:51

Can't he stay, but just work three days a week or just morning or something. Would that work?
Alternatively, SEN teaching pays more and there's virtually no homework marking, but it will give it's own challenges.

poorbuthappy · 12/01/2023 12:53

growinggreyer · 12/01/2023 12:48

He is not an outstanding teacher if he thinks that he can churn out the same lessons every year because 'maths doesn't change'. He is lazy and he knows he won't be able to get away with that in a better school. Stop listening to his flannel. If he quits this job you will not be buying the house you have your eye on.

Harsh but possibly bang on.

IsThePopeCatholic · 12/01/2023 12:53

growinggreyer · 12/01/2023 12:48

He is not an outstanding teacher if he thinks that he can churn out the same lessons every year because 'maths doesn't change'. He is lazy and he knows he won't be able to get away with that in a better school. Stop listening to his flannel. If he quits this job you will not be buying the house you have your eye on.

Exactly what I was thinking! Maths might not change, but tailoring lessons to individuals’ needs is important. He probably chooses to teach in a ‘bad’ school because he knows he wouldn’t get away with what he does in a ‘good’ school. I’ve never known any teacher who works as few hours as your dh.

bellswithwhistles · 12/01/2023 12:55

I'm confused how he's working all day and then tutoring all evening?! Tutoring in £30 ph - so he's already earning an extra £2k a month on top of his salary? Is this being declared? Or is the £55k including this?

Tutoring is hard work done properly. There's no way I could tutor every night after being in school all day. When he doing his lesson planning and assessment for school? Not to mention his planning and assessment for his tutees?