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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DH shouldn’t quit teaching?

143 replies

mindyk · 12/01/2023 11:43

Slightly misleading title.

My DH is an outstanding Maths (and Economics/Politics) teacher. He is specialised in Maths so can easily teach Further Maths A Level standard (basically all pre-Uni level stuff) he also runs a successful tutoring company.

DH is a bit of a martyr. We have lots of outstanding / grammar schools in the area which he refuses to go to, saying the kids at bad schools need him. As a result, the abuse, lack of care from the kids and general issues with the profession means he wants to leave.

DH says he will take a pay cut but I know him inside out, the only way he would take a pay cut is because he can supplement with tutoring, this means any job that requires you to work past 5pm or doesn’t allow a WFH finish at 5pm on the dot is not possible.

Any career ideas for him? This is his requirements:

  • WFH at least half the week
  • Minimum £40k salary (he’s currently on around £55k)
  • Must be able to run the tutoring which he must start by 5pm-ish each evening.

his current school finishes before 3pm, he doesn’t bring work home 95% of the time, marking is easy as most kids can barely answer more than 1 page of a paper and he never works holidays. He tutors most evenings from 430pm to as late as 9pm Mon-Thurs. I personally think he should try a better school, maybe take on less responsibility and teach as a back up.

He cannot do tutoring full time due to security and we plan to move in a year or two, once we’ve bought the bigger house etc. he can go self-employed full time.

OP posts:
Phineyj · 12/01/2023 20:51

Assuming (generously) that this is real and not a wind up, I'd worry about right now, OP.

  1. Your DH is only one change of Head away from having issues either because he's phoning it in/dashing out at 3, or because he's running what amounts to a significant small business (do they know?)
  2. Does he tutor students from his school? I wouldn't be impressed as a parent to be paying for 1 to 1 if the teacher wasn't making much effort in the actual classes.
  3. Has he checked his contract re 1 and 2?
  4. Is he paying self-employed NICs and doing a tax return?
  5. If you're earning 6 figures you're presumably in the SE. He doesn't need to change school type (although young people with difficulties are found in all schools including paid for ones, amazingly enough). But if for example he's SLT in a Kent school, a move to an inner London payscale would be worth thousands.
  6. Economics and Politics are changing a lot faster than the syllabuses. Recycling lesson plans has never worked less well.
vvvvb · 12/01/2023 20:51

Does he run any clubs at lunchtime to encourage the younger children in maths without them realising iyswim

Sort of maths by stealth like engineering club or something (I have no idea about maths or engineering btw)

MissTrip82 · 12/01/2023 20:59

He must have an idea in his mind of where all these jobs are that pay that much and that are a guaranteed 5pm finish. I don’t know anyone who always finishes on time but I work in healthcare. Perhaps there’s an industry where that’s guaranteed.

He actually sounds a bit lazy, and like he’s putting a fair bit of spin on his own talents and motives. I suspect if he’s not working during the holidays he will find it very very hard to not have those……

toocold54 · 12/01/2023 21:06

Why does he get into work do early?

Do you have DCs?
You must barely see him!

If he goes into a grammar school he may have less behaviour issues but he’s going to have a lot more work in other areas which is just as stressful.

What about working at a sixth form/college and teaching older students?
I have no idea of what the pay or working conditions are like though.

It’s hard to say without knowing what he wants to do.
Does he want a complete change for a while or does he want to just have a break from the bad behaviour of his current students.

Can I ask what it is you do?

Fairislefandango · 12/01/2023 21:10

It makes no sense to refuse to go for jobs in the grammar schools or outstanding schools 'because the kids at the bad schools need him'. What difference does it make to the kids at the bad schools if he leaves to work at a grammar school or leaves teaching. He leaves either way.

He is either being a ridiculous martyr or he knows he's actually not that good and wouldn't cut it at a good school. I was going to quit teaching. Then I got a job in a girls' grammar school. Demanding, still a big workload, but a lovely environment with virtually no behaviour issues.

Fairislefandango · 12/01/2023 21:12

If he goes into a grammar school he may have less behaviour issues but he’s going to have a lot more work in other areas which is just as stressful.

Not necessarily more work, just different. Ime same amount of lesson prep, more marking, less time spent dealing with endless behaviour problems. And the lesson prep is more appreciated.

Cosmos123 · 12/01/2023 21:16

Accountancy is a. Option

BrutusMcDogface · 12/01/2023 21:17

growinggreyer · 12/01/2023 12:48

He is not an outstanding teacher if he thinks that he can churn out the same lessons every year because 'maths doesn't change'. He is lazy and he knows he won't be able to get away with that in a better school. Stop listening to his flannel. If he quits this job you will not be buying the house you have your eye on.

Absolutely! Someone who is thinking the same as me.

Phos · 12/01/2023 21:21

Why doesn't he just go work in a better school and give that a go? So much for saying the kids in the sink comprehensives need him when he's thinking of scarpering out of the profession for good...

Covidwoes · 12/01/2023 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

brusselspout · 12/01/2023 21:38

A lot of maths teachers think they're outstanding purely because there is such a lack of them around there is no competition for jobs.
He sounds lazy.
Therefore, I will recommend Ofsted inspection for him.
Those who can, teach. Those who can't, inspect. Or something like that Smile

Paulisexcluded · 12/01/2023 21:45

I don't understand why an upper pay scale teacher with a partner on double the salary would need to do tutoring 5-9pm mon-thu

I do agree that working in a so called "bad" school is more rewarding. These schools do need good teachers.

No idea about possible job ideas sorry although there are online platforms such as Sparx which need people to manage and design and I imagine some of this could be WFH

GlassBunion · 12/01/2023 21:52

If his pupils can't do more than one page of set work then it sounds like he has a problem , surely?

I'd park the house move and let your partner find a more suitable role.

ScreamingInfidelities · 12/01/2023 21:53

growinggreyer · 12/01/2023 12:48

He is not an outstanding teacher if he thinks that he can churn out the same lessons every year because 'maths doesn't change'. He is lazy and he knows he won't be able to get away with that in a better school. Stop listening to his flannel. If he quits this job you will not be buying the house you have your eye on.

Spot on!

Mirabai · 12/01/2023 22:00

DH is a bit of a martyr. We have lots of outstanding / grammar schools in the area which he refuses to go to, saying the kids at bad schools need him. As a result, the abuse, lack of care from the kids and general issues with the profession means he wants to leave.

This doesn’t really make sense to me. The kids at bad schools need him, but they don’t actually care so along with other general issues he wants to leave teaching completely. Why is he dividing kids into deserving and undeserving deeming the kids who are deserving of his time precisely the ones who don’t want it? The world needs good maths teachers.

Passportpondery · 12/01/2023 22:04

So he is working from 6:30am until 9pm all week? Why is money that important to you both that you will work so many hours and not see each other for it?

I’ve just left classroom teaching (also a maths teacher). I tutor and write exam questions alongside my new job. When writing I earn £22.50 per question, usually contracted for batches of 10 at a time. Usually 4-5 projects a year. It’s not going to replace a salary.

Tutoring could become full time if he look at international students online where, due to the time difference, he could work during the day time.

NancyJoan · 12/01/2023 22:05

He could go to a grammar, but then offer his tutoring services for free to kids who need extra support in less fancy schools.

Sartre · 12/01/2023 22:09

Plenty of money in economics if he went down that route instead…

Phineyj · 12/01/2023 22:40

I looked at Economics think tanks once (out of curiosity having heard an inspiring speaker) and I was surprised to find they paid a lot less than teaching - and much less holiday etc.

Financial services would pay more of course.

But I agree with the PP who said 5 years to establish yourself doing something new.

newtb · 12/01/2023 22:44

Accountancy?
Pfffft I don't think he'd cut it.
37.5hr week, unpaid overtime because the budget's tight and so there's no money for it.
3 hours a night studying after work
An exam every 2 weeks

surreygirl1987 · 12/01/2023 22:46

Maths? He should move into the private school sector. He wouldn't have to take much of a payout to be a standard classroom teacher (my husband is on just under £53k as a private school teacher, no extra responsibilities). Smaller classes, longer holidays, better salary, good behaviour.

Noodledoodledoo · 12/01/2023 22:47

growinggreyer · 12/01/2023 12:48

He is not an outstanding teacher if he thinks that he can churn out the same lessons every year because 'maths doesn't change'. He is lazy and he knows he won't be able to get away with that in a better school. Stop listening to his flannel. If he quits this job you will not be buying the house you have your eye on.

My thoughts as well. I've been teaching maths 14 years, definitely use some previous lessons but not just as they were.

surreygirl1987 · 12/01/2023 22:47

PS I'm on significantly more than your husband and I'm a Head of department in a private school.

theworldhas · 12/01/2023 22:48

Look into purchasing a tutoring franchise - or going solo. Given he already has excellent experience and isn’t afraid of hard work/early starts etc he could pull it off and be making six figures in say 5 years. Obviously a significant initial investment would probably be required to get things started.

Paulisexcluded · 13/01/2023 00:25

I'm just quite shocked at the number of posters saying such negative things about "bad" schools. I am a teacher, and I have done a lot of supply, as well as experience teaching those who are retaking maths GCSE and who hate maths and believe that they cannot do it.

Does everyone go into teaching to only teach those who are keen to learn? I certainly didn't.

Sorry this is copied and pasted and just one example of what I mean...

"Summerlark · Yesterday 20:15

To be fair maths doesn't change much at the high school level. You wouldn't throw out your lesson plans. I mean circle geometry is circle geometry. You can perhaps work on adding some computer graphics or doing quizzes or doing some hands on demonstrations I suppose. The thing is that children at bad schools don't necessarily need him. If they can hardly answer a question and are badly behaved and he is constantly stressed, he might as well work with bright children in a grammar school who want to learn. My husband is a statistician. He told me about visiting his old maths teacher from 7th form when he got his M Sc. Bright children from better schools can appreciate good teaching too.

One of my husband's relatives was a card carrying communist who was in China prepared to fight on the communist side during the revolution. As a very old man, he told me that he had started out as teacher. He had started teaching in a school in an affluent area and it had been fine. He had then moved to a school in a less affluent area. All his communist sympathies aside, he described the new pupils as completely feral, badly behaved and with no interest whatsoever in learning anything and he promptly left.

.....I think that teaching those who have no interest and are badly behaved is is the most rewarding thing I have ever done.

This is so depressing. No wonder the education system is such a mess.