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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Benefits of marriage

102 replies

blesssedd · 11/01/2023 13:09

Can we have a post that lists the wide ranging benefits of marriage?

I'll start - If you have children you will all have the same surname.

OP posts:
MolesOnPoles · 11/01/2023 13:12

There are plenty of benefits to marriage, but having the same surname isn’t necessarily one. It’s increasingly unusual for women to change their name.

lbzbean · 11/01/2023 13:14

Family law protects your right to half the marital assets if you choose not to work.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 11/01/2023 13:15

If you are widowed then you have access to bereavement support payments

Timeforabiscuit · 11/01/2023 13:16

No inheritance tax to pay between spouses

Internetstranger · 11/01/2023 13:19

The spouse has the right to reside in the marital home even if they don't own it and didn't pay for it (and can register that right at land registry to prevent their home being sold or mortgaged without their knowledge).

Internetstranger · 11/01/2023 13:20

Being automatically next of kin.

being the beneficiary if the spouse dies with no will.

Cileymyrus · 11/01/2023 13:21

blesssedd · 11/01/2023 13:09

Can we have a post that lists the wide ranging benefits of marriage?

I'll start - If you have children you will all have the same surname.

That’s not a benefit of marriage.

you can all have the same surname without marriage.

i haven’t changed my name and there are a lot of benefits to not having the same name as your children 😂 (not being added to all the school/club social media for one, they bother DH instead..)

Kolakalia · 11/01/2023 13:23

Internetstranger · 11/01/2023 13:20

Being automatically next of kin.

being the beneficiary if the spouse dies with no will.

NOK has no legal meaning. This one always comes up! There are no laws around this and you can nominate anyone you want. The thing most people are thinking of is stuff like 'Nearest Relative' which is stated in the Mental Health Act and actually has strict criteria over who counts, and that person has certain legal rights.

Anyway, marriage was important for me so that if we ever split up I'd have a claim to some of his pension/given that I was the one to reduce down to part time hours after having a child. No way would I have gone down to part time without being married.

blesssedd · 11/01/2023 13:24

@Kolakalia

If you didn't have any impact on your pension - would you have still wanted to get married?

OP posts:
oudie · 11/01/2023 13:25

I'll start - If you have children you will all have the same surname.

That's not a benefit of marriage, that is a choice to can be made with or without marriage.

DoomedForLoneliness · 11/01/2023 13:25

MolesOnPoles · 11/01/2023 13:12

There are plenty of benefits to marriage, but having the same surname isn’t necessarily one. It’s increasingly unusual for women to change their name.

No it’s not.

Quick googeling said 90% of women in uk take their husband’s name.

blesssedd · 11/01/2023 13:25

@Cileymyrus

I guess another benefit of keeping your own name is less admin from a documents perspective.

Any benefits to marriage you'd like to add?

OP posts:
Moxysright · 11/01/2023 13:26

The same surname as children is the only thing for me! If you live as cohabiting partners you can still ensure next of kin / pension rights etc but you have to be proactive about these things and not just leave them.

blesssedd · 11/01/2023 13:26

Timeforabiscuit · 11/01/2023 13:16

No inheritance tax to pay between spouses

What is the inheritance tax limit where you'd have to pay if not married?

OP posts:
blesssedd · 11/01/2023 13:27

lbzbean · 11/01/2023 13:14

Family law protects your right to half the marital assets if you choose not to work.

I think this is the key benefit for most if not working.

Perhaps I should have worded the Op that benefits of both parties are working.

OP posts:
Sapphire387 · 11/01/2023 13:27

I'm married. We have three different surnames in our family of five.

Benefit of marriage = it 'feels' different to me, like you really have committed to each other. I appreciate not everyone will feel the same as I do, though.

blesssedd · 11/01/2023 13:28

MolesOnPoles · 11/01/2023 13:12

There are plenty of benefits to marriage, but having the same surname isn’t necessarily one. It’s increasingly unusual for women to change their name.

Fair point.

Any of the plenty of benefits you'd like to share if not already a feature of this thread?

OP posts:
Cileymyrus · 11/01/2023 13:28

Moxysright · 11/01/2023 13:26

The same surname as children is the only thing for me! If you live as cohabiting partners you can still ensure next of kin / pension rights etc but you have to be proactive about these things and not just leave them.

You could change your name by deed poll and all have the same surname.

no need to get married.

blesssedd · 11/01/2023 13:28

Moxysright · 11/01/2023 13:26

The same surname as children is the only thing for me! If you live as cohabiting partners you can still ensure next of kin / pension rights etc but you have to be proactive about these things and not just leave them.

Did you get married for this reason?

OP posts:
blesssedd · 11/01/2023 13:29

Sapphire387 · 11/01/2023 13:27

I'm married. We have three different surnames in our family of five.

Benefit of marriage = it 'feels' different to me, like you really have committed to each other. I appreciate not everyone will feel the same as I do, though.

This is interesting.

No one else had mentioned anything remotely romantic about it until this post.

OP posts:
NewyearNewStartnomorejunk · 11/01/2023 13:30

We are family of 4 with 3 different surnames.
We are married and the best benefit is having a lovely husband

Cileymyrus · 11/01/2023 13:30

blesssedd · 11/01/2023 13:25

@Cileymyrus

I guess another benefit of keeping your own name is less admin from a documents perspective.

Any benefits to marriage you'd like to add?

To be honest as the higher earner/holder of assets there aren’t many benefits for me. All it’s done is give dh the right to half my house and savings.

in hindsight I wouldn’t have given in to family pressure.

Kolakalia · 11/01/2023 13:31

blesssedd · 11/01/2023 13:24

@Kolakalia

If you didn't have any impact on your pension - would you have still wanted to get married?

Yes, because of widow's benefits and the housing stuff. The only reason we got married was because it makes us family in the eyes of the law/government, gives us certain responsibilities towards one another and is a more stable family for our DC. It's a legal contract.

honeylulu · 11/01/2023 13:32

The surnames thing is bollocks. I'm married and kept my birth name. Kids have both and can choose to drop one at secondary age (their choice).

Inheritance tax that benefits each other and your joint children is a biggie.

Better financial protection if one partner gives up work/reduces career to care for children/ home. (I didn't but still think that's a good thing.)

Right of both partners to live in marital home even if in one partner name.

Some pension trusts will only allow you to name a spouse or civil partner.

Personally I prefer to say husband instead of boyfriend/partner.

I also loved my wedding. I know that's not the point but I did!

blesssedd · 11/01/2023 13:32

@Kolakalia

What are the widow benefits?

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