To not want to remove stair gate for 5 and 3 year old?

[isitmyanxiety]

Are my husband and I being unreasonable for not wanting to remove the stair gate at the top of the stairs with a 5 and 3 year old?

Their bedrooms open onto a landing and directly in front of 5 yr door is the top of the stairs, and beside that door is 3 yr olds door. They have to walk past the top of the stairs to get to our room.

It's only the nighttime I'm worried about. If they are half asleep and somehow fall down the stairs.

The stair gate is a real pain and we both want it gone but neither of us can make the decision. We're both too paranoid.

Is this normal to feel this way? Do people just remove them? I think the majority of people I know get rid of them earlier than us.

It feels like we are being over cautious and weird but also what if they fall down the stairs in the night. Why are these decisions so hard!

We still have stair gate at top of stairs for our 3 and 4 year old.
Not used any other time only night time once they asleep.
Same reasons as you I just worry in middle of night they wake up and somehow fall down, I'll leave up a fair while yet it doesn't get in way.

the 3 year old still wakes through the night, usually calls for us to go to them. The 5 year old, I can't remember him ever getting out of bed for the toilet in the night

Sounds very low risk to get rid, in that case.

What's a gated bed, do you mean a cot? He's in a toddler bed.

I presume that the poster meant gated bedROOM.

My in laws removed the stair gate when they moved house and my husband was 18 - his bedroom was at the top of the stairs and they feared he would fall down them in the night. Don’t be like them!!!!

Never had a stair gate - moved to our current house when (ADHD) toddler was 3 and have no banisters either.

Never a single case of falling down the stairs, because they were repeatedly warned to be careful.

I think Tulipmouse was being sarcastic.

Why are you asking this question?

What has this got to do with anybody other than you and your DH? Has someone told you to take it down?

Do what you think is right.

YANBU at all. I have an upper stair gate for my dcs too. One of their rooms is right next to the staircase like yours. We also have tiled floors at the bottom, the risk is simply not worth it. My youngest can also get out of bed sometimes and have a wander, also likes to use the stairs on a whim. I probably will leave it on until they're far too old, it gives me peace of mind!

*'Never had a stair gate - moved to our current house when (ADHD) toddler was 3 and have no banisters either.

Never a single case of falling down the stairs, because they were repeatedly warned to be careful.'*

You are very lucky, accidents can happen. I wouldn't be without a bannister either? but you know what is right for you and your family. Some dcs can be warned to be careful but this isn't always enough for every child, esp one's who have a tendency to wander about in the wee hours.

Ah that makes more sense. Thanks.

What an absolutely reckless approach to child safety.

Glad you had toddlers that were so biddable that they were never hurt accidentally, but I suspect most of us accept that things might happen regardless of how many times we say 'be careful'.

Honestly even if they fall it will be like a stair or two. And kids bounce at that age. I never had one at the top either, never occurred to me.

'Honestly even if they fall it will be like a stair or two. And kids bounce at that age.'

Yeah right on to a hard floor and cracking their head off it. Tell this to my sister whose dc this happened to.

Oh and my SIL had a bannister!

Well yes if there stairs and landing are hard flooring it’s different.

My two are now 9 and 10 and we still have one at the top of the stairs.

Partly because we've just never really thought about it much (part of the furniture now)- and partly because in the back of my mind, I still worry about them getting up, half asleep, to got the toilet, and misstepping and falling.

Its no hassle having it up still so we just leave it. (and I sleep better knowing its there)

If they are climbing or trying to climb over it get rid thats a lot more dangerous.

Our 3 year old pushed pressure fitted stairgate off and went face first down the stairs with it. We moved gate to over the bedroom doors of younger kids who weren't nightime toilet trained for saftey

You know that's the complete opposite of most adhd children. Their impulsiveness makes it's hard to follow instructions or warnings

Climbing over it, leaning on it and it giving way, using it as a booster to climb over the bannisters, tripping over the bottom bit when it is open and falling down the stairs.

We have ours in DD's bedroom doorway instead of top of stairs as we felt this was safer. She's almost 2.

Got rid of it when I found DD had trained the dog and cat to step back and wait as she climbed over and then escorted her silently as she raided the fridge for Dairylea triangles to share with them at 3.30am. She'd have been about two and a half.

We have/had them on bedroom doors. Left DC1’s on till she was about 4, she could easily undo it/climb over it if she wanted but I was paranoid about her stumbling to the bathroom/our room in the night and falling down the stairs. Probably completely unnecessary but once the thought’s in my head I can’t help but worry.

I've got one at the top of my stairs, my kids are 6 and 4. They both sleepwalk, particularly when poorly, so there is no chance of me getting rid of the gates for a while yet.