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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Getting rejected for houses because we have dc

192 replies

Whatsthestitch · 10/01/2023 23:17

Little bit of a click bait but partly true

Me and dp currently live with an abusive parent and we are trying to leave. I have had dc so can't work and am on uc. Dp works full time. Even though we have money for a depoist and holding depoist I still don't understand how we can afford to move out!

Has anyone had experience of moving out on housing benefit? How did it work for you. I can't see any landlord accepting our situation and as our budget is so small (900pcm) most flats we see say they aren't family/children suitable. I didn't even think of the possibility of landlords/ladies discriminating against children. Surely a family of 3 living in a 1 bedroom isn't that overcrowded or absurd given the current climate. I'm willing to get a part time job but even that will only be about 2 days max as it will be family looking after dc for free childcare.

Help! Seeking advice and posting for traffic

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatsthestitch · 10/01/2023 23:19

Also had discrimination over housing benefit. I know we legally don't have to inform the landlord/lady of this unless asked but what if they do a money check and see that our income alone can't sustain bills plus rent. Then we will have to say we will be getting housing benefit top up and will be rejected because of that

OP posts:
Brightstar84 · 10/01/2023 23:20

What do you mean you have had DC and therefore can’t work?

Does your partner earn a decent multiple of the rental amount? Do you have a good credit history / any references?

3 people in one room will likely concern a landlord, how old is your child?

Original poster
Whatsthestitch · 10/01/2023 23:21

@Brightstar84 we can't afford childcare. Dc is 1. Mil has offered to watch dc two days so I can get a small job. We have a guarantor

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatsthestitch · 10/01/2023 23:22

I meant I can't afford to work. Full time nursery costs will eat at any part time job I get and it can't be ft because I need to be home to look after dc whilst dp works

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 10/01/2023 23:22

It's likely not discrimination it's just that in many areas there is a severe shortage of rental properties so landlords, if faced with the choice will likely go with a couple where both are working and with no kids rather than reliant partly on benefits and with a young child who could cause damage etc to the property or if it's a flat could cause noise etc to neighbours. So at the moment landlords can likely choose between many tenants as multiple people clamour for properties.

Original poster
Whatsthestitch · 10/01/2023 23:25

@Babyroobs if that's the case how do we stand a chance of leaving. Our current living situation isn't sustainable

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 10/01/2023 23:25

Whatsthestitch · 10/01/2023 23:22

I meant I can't afford to work. Full time nursery costs will eat at any part time job I get and it can't be ft because I need to be home to look after dc whilst dp works

If you need to pay childcare costs then you claim the childcare element of Universal credit. Once your child is aged 3 if you are both working then you qualify for 30 hours of free childcare ( term time). Or whilst childcare costs are high you can do what thousands of other parents do and work around each other. We spent ten years doing this- dh worked 9-5 and I worked evenings, nightshifts and weekends to get by. There was not much childcare help back in those days.

DixonD · 10/01/2023 23:27

Whatsthestitch · 10/01/2023 23:22

I meant I can't afford to work. Full time nursery costs will eat at any part time job I get and it can't be ft because I need to be home to look after dc whilst dp works

That’s what a childminder/nursery is for.

In this market, you’re stuck where you are with such a small budget and and refusal to work.

No one will let you squeeze into a one bed as it may possibly go against their insurance.

Babyroobs · 10/01/2023 23:27

Whatsthestitch · 10/01/2023 23:25

@Babyroobs if that's the case how do we stand a chance of leaving. Our current living situation isn't sustainable

I've no idea. My own Ds and his gf have had to move back in with me as rent costs are so unaffordable and they are both on low wages and that is without a child even. I have 3 adult kids living at home !

Original poster
Whatsthestitch · 10/01/2023 23:29

@Babyroobs you aren't allowed to claim UC whilst on housing benefit. It's why I have to cancel my uc claim now to make us eligible for housing

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 10/01/2023 23:31

Whatsthestitch · 10/01/2023 23:29

@Babyroobs you aren't allowed to claim UC whilst on housing benefit. It's why I have to cancel my uc claim now to make us eligible for housing

No you claim rent element through Universal credit. You will not be able to claim housing benefit, there are no new claims. If you already have a UC claim and oyu now need to claim help with rent then you just add rent costs to that claim.

BertaHoon · 10/01/2023 23:33

Unfortunately it's a landlords market, they can pick and choose.

20 years ago I moved 3 times with DS then 5. Sometimes working, sometimes not. I had a guarantor and all was fine.

When the rental market went crazy in say late 2000s we had to leave our rented home of over 10 years. In that time my son had completed school and was at the local college within walking distance. I'd had another child who was attending the local primary. I'd made friends and had support networks. I was working full time.

The landlord decided though to increase the rent from 525 to 850pcm. By justifying this he was going to install central heating and double glazing. Still impossible for me to cover.

Desperate not to move out of the area, I was first on the phone to local estate agents. Everything went to professional working couples.

We were homeless for over 10 months and had to be housed by the council.

I do find your post rather defeatist though, that you cannot work as you are a parent. Many parents do work, as did I. Full time. I cannot now sadly due to disability.

Kanaloa · 10/01/2023 23:39

I don’t think it’s discriminatory for them to say ‘your housing benefit doesn’t cover this property’ or ‘unfortunately we can’t rent this one bed property to a family of 3.’ It’s annoying for you but it isn’t discrimination.

When my DC were small my DH and I used to work round each other. I was a SAHM for a short time but it did leave us struggling for money so we worked it out to work round each other. He worked days, I worked evenings. It was really hard for about a year, until we got free nursery hours, but being financially stable is so so important to us so it was worth it.

EricNorthmanYesPlease · 11/01/2023 00:12

Landlords will absolutely not rent a 1 bed to a family of 3. Your DC will obviously grow rapidly and need their own bedroom. They dont want the hassle of having to find new tenants.

Your best bet is to get work around your partners hours until your child qualifies for free childcare.

Also have a look at shared ownership as it often works out much cheaper than private rental and gives more security. You should pass the affordability on your DH wage alone. Im a single Mom on low income, but had enough deposit for a SO.
I pay £400 a month for rent and mortgage for a 2 bed, 2 car parking spaces, side and back garden.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 11/01/2023 00:19

What is your DPs full time salary?

What hours does he work?

Can you get an evening/weekend job around his hours to supplement your income?

Have you been through the entitledto.com website to check whether you would be eligible for UC, housing element and childcare element?

Deathbyfluffy · 11/01/2023 00:32

As a landlord I see their point - you’ll need to move in a couple of years and long-term tenants are always a better bet.
Not to mention the excess wear from so many people in such a small place…

None of what you’ve said is discrimination by the way. But good luck and I hope you find something soon

NumberTheory · 11/01/2023 00:48

Babyroobs · 10/01/2023 23:22

It's likely not discrimination it's just that in many areas there is a severe shortage of rental properties so landlords, if faced with the choice will likely go with a couple where both are working and with no kids rather than reliant partly on benefits and with a young child who could cause damage etc to the property or if it's a flat could cause noise etc to neighbours. So at the moment landlords can likely choose between many tenants as multiple people clamour for properties.

I’m sure you’re right that that’s the logic the Landlords are following. But it is the very definition of discrimination in a non legal sense - recognising differences between one set of circumstances and another - and could be discrimination in a legal sense if the circumstances include things that are protected by law.

IDontCareMatthew · 11/01/2023 00:48

Not seeing the 'discrimination' in either example there op

Chantelle302412 · 11/01/2023 01:07

I claim UC, I began my claim with UC 3 months before I got my flat and they just added the housing element on and in October they added the childcare element on for my 1 year old where they pay 85% of my childcare costs so I pay £40/60 on top of what they do to send my child to a childminder 2 days every week. So I’m sure you’d be able to do that if you and your partner aren’t earning totally enough to support you it’s worth checking out.

and nobody in the right mind would let you move into a one bed with a one year old it’s one crowded even the council wouldn’t move you into a one bedroom flat as a family of 3. Xx

WiddlinDiddlin · 11/01/2023 02:27

Overcrowding tends to exacerbate damp/condensation issues and causes more wear and tear.

On top of that, whilst you may make it work now, fast forward 12 months and a two year old rampaging around a 1 bed flat is going to cause you to want to move PDQ, so you're a short term let prospect and that isn't what they want either.

Do more research on the benefits, UC should support you whilst working, its what it is designed to do so I think you have misunderstood that, the fact you've not understood the rent element also makes me suspect this!

Throwncrumbs · 11/01/2023 06:15

A lot of people have children and work, having a job will be beneficial in obtaining a rental property, that’s my experience anyway

Busybody2022 · 11/01/2023 06:21
  1. You can't cancel UC to claim housing benefit. Once you have housing costs that will factor in to your UC
  1. UC will contribute up to 85% of childcare costs. 2 free days with MIL a week is fab, nursery could be £80 a day the other 3 days so £240 a week with 85% back.
  1. You could work opposite hours to DP. You need to get your employment sorted first then move.
Beezknees · 11/01/2023 06:22

What is the HA situation like where you live? Get yourself on the list and bid. If you're in an overcrowded situation you might get band B. In my area band B are getting offered properties, sometimes even band C get them. I've lived in HA for 14 years.

SchrodingersKettle · 11/01/2023 06:31

how big is the house you are currently crammed into? If it’s 5 of you including a baby/toddler plus a parent, I’m guessing it could be 3 bedrooms (assuming baby is in your room). no wonder it’s gotten stressful!

Six people in a normal size 3 bed house is hard work. Imagine 5 of you squeezed in a 1 bed - that will be a nightmare.

Are your older 2 kids at school then? If you are low income you can get good support to help with childcare. Getting yourself in FT work is your best bet - use the before and after school clubs for wrap around care for the kids or use a childminder if you can find one. find a nursery as close as possible to school and get yourself on the waitlist.

In school holidays if you can’t afford the school’s holiday club then you and DH split your work vacation to provide as much cover as possible and request unpaid leave for the rest. Your baby can go to FT nursery so you should find it’s only shut on Bank holidays

I know it feels logistically impossible, and yes it is incredibly hard work, but it really is your best chance I think.

also - and I mean this with kindness - vasectomy AND rock-solid contraceptives as 3 kids is already unaffordable. Big families are only for the wealthy these days.

LoopyGremlin · 11/01/2023 06:38

Whatsthestitch · 10/01/2023 23:22

I meant I can't afford to work. Full time nursery costs will eat at any part time job I get and it can't be ft because I need to be home to look after dc whilst dp works

Why would you have full time nursery costs if you're only working part time?