Getting rejected for houses because we have dc

[Whatsthestitch]

Little bit of a click bait but partly true

Me and dp currently live with an abusive parent and we are trying to leave. I have had dc so can't work and am on uc. Dp works full time. Even though we have money for a depoist and holding depoist I still don't understand how we can afford to move out!

Has anyone had experience of moving out on housing benefit? How did it work for you. I can't see any landlord accepting our situation and as our budget is so small (900pcm) most flats we see say they aren't family/children suitable. I didn't even think of the possibility of landlords/ladies discriminating against children. Surely a family of 3 living in a 1 bedroom isn't that overcrowded or absurd given the current climate. I'm willing to get a part time job but even that will only be about 2 days max as it will be family looking after dc for free childcare.

Help! Seeking advice and posting for traffic

What nonsense.

Discrimination has a very legal definition and this doesn’t even come close to any of them.

You seem very pressed! People are trying to give OP good advice but you're jumping down everyone's throat. I don't know why!

Op can absolutely get a job if she wants to and make it work. N one said it would be easy but life is life! It's about sitting down and sorting out a schedule with her MIL & DH. She shouldn't just rule out working!

And not wanting to rent a 1 bed apartment to a family of 3 does not fall into the discrimination criteria not one bit!

@RHOAD She is not ruling out working. But some of the suggestions here are very unhelpful by people who do not even understand the benefits system or the rental market.

@OhMonDieux she and her partner will be a much better position to provide for her child with a stable home. It is not a race to the bottom.

The other groups you refer to may also have not made optimal decisions too.

Indeed @BradfordGirl .Private rentals with a young family carry the permanent risk of rent being hiked, eviction. Therefore constant threat of homelessness and constant school movements/ uncertainty.

To be fair it does sound like the ops ruling anything out other than small part time work, on reality she needs to be checking rhe childcare and rent element of uc and trying to work, as right now they can’t afford to move out .

so the options are either she works or they stay put.

If I owned a 1 bed flat and let it out, I’d much prefer to rent it to a single professional who might be out all day at work, than to a family of 3 who might have a parent and child there most of the time and the second parent there for the rest of the time. It’s simply wear and tear - much more use of everything when there’s a child. Taps, toilets, washing machine, oven, even doors - everything gets more use. Spills, knocks, marks, just everything that goes with family life. Just in constant use with a family. It sounds mean but it’s just minimising costs.

OPs baby is only one. Going back to a new job at this stage is daunting enough. Trying to find acceptable paid childcare and a new job is even more daunting.

Yes the ideal tenant for a landlord is one who pays loads of rent and barely uses the flat or house.

You can work with children. Most of us do.

This is the sad reality for plenty of families who have two parents working and aren’t lucky enough to have family to house them like the OP does.

Social housing should be for people that genuinely need it, not those who are too workshy to even try working around their partner.

One isn't that young. Many women go back to work earlier including myself. It is pretty normal.

Why not seek out shift work around your partner' employment schedule? One of you could work days and the other work evenings or nights. This way you would not need childcare.

What was your plan for housing and childcare prior to your getting pregnant? How did you plan to provide for your child?

BradforGirl - i agree - a lot of us on mumsnet have done it. And many of us older mums had to do it at six months as that was when maternity leave ran out. And we have had to do it with no local support from family and couldnt go part time because employers wouldnt employ you.

@tattygrl why are you sneering at the suggestion that the OP and her partner work opposite shifts to support the child they decided to have? It’s a very cost effective way to manage when you can’t afford childcare and don’t have free babysitters just hanging around.

We did it a long time ago, and still qualified for family credit then tax credits due to low incomes. In-work benefits didn’t cover childcare then so we had no choice.

But lots of us do it. I had to do it when my son was 7 months and had had an anaphylactic reaction only weeks earlier, and we were still figuring out his allergies. But I knew parenting also involved rolling up my sleeves and ensuring we had a roof over our heads.

@MelchiorsMistress thats the point isn’t it? But instead of saying ‘there should be more social housing’ you want to make it a race to the bottom. Decent affordable housing is exactly how we get to the point the daily mail ‘support your own children without benefits’ lot actually want. The ridiculous housing situation makes it very difficult to live without benefits, benefits subsidise private landlords and the cycle continues. Sorting out housing is the only way to break it.

But interestingly they also think that one parent should be at home.

OP said she could not afford childcare as she will not earn enough.

@SweetSakura A bit more empathy and support would not go amiss. Mumsnet is so harsh these days, I would never post here looking for support.
You can say things in a supportive way - now this site is full of mums who take pride in "telling it like it is". It is awful.

Noone has asked the OP to pay 14k a year in childcare! All of my friends with small children have to work and none of us could afford that. The OP has already said herself her MIL will cover 2 days a week. I pay around £500 per month for my 18mo in nursery 2 days a week. This is with the tax free childcare. This would mean the OP could work 4 days a week.

It's not the OP's fault that childcare is so expensive - (£14k a year on average) that working doesn't make financial sense. Or do you think only people with 14k per year spare income should be allowed to have children

An average this is likely skewed by having Nanny salaries included.

Childminding costs for 3 days a week (with MIL providing the other two) will be nowhere near this. Not even near half of this.

But you CAN afford to work because you have 2 days FREE childcare.. I wish I did! Me & DH both work full time to provide childcare through nursery & a CM for our DD because we CHOSE to have her. We have no free child care.

If she earns a low wage her childcare will be partially paid via UC.
She's already said family will provide 2 days of childcare.
Or she could work opposite hours to her DH.

It's not a case of simply looking at headline childcare rates and how much she would earn and taking one from the other (I totally agree a minimum wage job won't cover the cost of nursery for a 1 year old).

What did you do before OP? Any chance of going back to an old job/field?