Is this normal eating behaviour?

[lucyboop]

I'm a 30 year old woman, I havd been single the past three years, however, have been seeing someone the past 4 months.

During my time single I developed a habit where I would cook a meal, eat half of it, then put it in the kitchen and pick at it for the rest of the night. So if I was going to the kitchen to load the dishwasher I would have a couple of bites, going to make a cup of tea - another couple of bites. Sometimes I'd finish it, but usually I wouldn't.

Anyways been with my guy for four months and when we cook together, I make a conscious effort to sit down and eat a full meal (even though that's a struggle for me to do all at once), although I usually end up leaving half on it and feeling hungry later on in the evening and just ignoring it.

However, he works later shifts so sometimes he will come over to my house around 8 and half my dinner is still sitting in the kitchen. When he questioned about why he couldn't put it in the bin, I explained to him that I usually liked to have half in one sitting and the other half over the course of a night.

He thinks this is very bizarre and nothing he's ever heard about before. So I'm wondering, is it all that unusual? Number 1 I couldn't eat it all in one sitting. Number 2 I get hungry later on so I have that to pick on otherwise I would snack.

AIBU?

The only people I've ever known to do something similar have been ex flat mates of mine who've had raging eating disorders.

Grimly picking over congealed leftovers on the kitchen sideboard after denying yourself half your meal is not a normal or healthy way to eat.

Omg this thread has just reminded me how much I hate the word nibble!!!!
Why isn’t it just ‘eat’?!?! 😂🙈
Anyway op, it’s unusual to me as cold food usuallg congeals or simply loses its appeal to me so I wouldn’t want to keep making trips and eating it once it had cooled down.
I don’t know, in theory it’s no different from what many people do, eat their dinner early and then have something else a bit later.
I prefer a smaller portion myself but then I tend to eat quite late in general and don’t feel hungry again the rest of the evening.
If it works for you, no need to change anything.

I do this, maybe not as slowly but I eat half my portion and then pick at the rest over the evening until I'm full. Everyone has their own ways of doing things!

OP are you short too? I am 5ft and I find my appetite fills up quickly in the moment.

Don't know why so many people in the comments seem to think you're afraid of your food 😂 some people just have appetites that fill up and empty quickly so it can be easier to eat very slowly rather than all at once

I think i'd generally prefer a cold or lukewarm dinner (if it were pasta or pizza or lasagne for example) than most snack foods. I find snack foods boring and not filling.

Why do people keep using the word ‘congealed?’ What do you think happens to chicken salad after an hour? People are acting like she’s eating weeks old food. I often cook dinner for me and the kids and DH eats his when he returns late in the evening from work. It’s certainly not disgusting/congealed/repulsive. It’s the same food a few hours later.

OP’s eating habits are a bit unusual, but it’s just ridiculous to act like the food somehow gets disgusting after an hour sitting in the kitchen.

And nobody’s saying she’s ‘grimly picking over congealed food’ after ‘denying herself half her dinner.’ What ridiculous hyperbole. The whole point is that she doesn’t deny herself it - she knows she will feel hungry again later so, rather than waste the food and cook something else, she saves her dinner and eats it again. Honestly, does everyone simply throw food away immediately? Nobody on here has ever saved food for leftovers/to be eaten the next day? How wasteful and ridiculous.

Don’t know why you think people think the OP is afraid of her food. Maybe you are lucky enough not to know people with serious eating disorders. Can you not comprehend that? The OP says she is anxious about eating a full meal. She hasn’t said at any time that she is full from eating half a meal. I don’t know if I’m right about the OP but it’s really upsetting to see someone put a laughing emoji on this subject who appears to have absolutely no experience of it.

Yeah it’s a bit weird, but so what. Don’t go hungry and waste food to please a man.

Why are you making things up? OP did not say she was anxious eating a full meal. She said she gets full and likes to know she has the rest of her food if she’s hungry later.

I do this.

DS(9) eats a bit like this. He eats half his dinner, gets bored and the edge is taken off his hunger so he loses interest. Half an hour later, he'll finish it off. It partly works as a bedtime delaying tactic too for added perks

His dinner is kept for a little while as it's more nutritious than things he would otherwise want to snack on, and effort has been put into preparing it. He's happy to heat it back up in the microwave. It also filters if he's genuinely hungry or faffing about.

He's not pressured to eat it; in fact giving him the space to go when the rest of us have finished and the freedom to come back if he wants takes the pressure off and he eats better for it.

It is no different to eating tea then having supper later.

op eats tea is full. Later feels peckish and snacks on left over tea. What is wrong with that.

if op eat tea and was full, then later made a different meal (porridge, toast etc), then what is the difference?

If you read the OP’s original post she hasn’t said she gets full after half a plate of food. She dodged round it and says can’t manage it and things like that. This is a habit she has developed by her own admission. She has also said she will ignore being hungry later on if her BF is there. As I said previously I don’t know if I am right about the OP and I hope I’m not but every time I’ve seen similar behaviours before there were issues with eating.

That’s not what I asked - I asked why you were making things up. You said op says she gets anxious about finishing meals to fuel your conjecture that she has an ED. OP has never said that. You just made it up.

@Kanaloa well if we make a chicken salad the fat from the chicken does congeal after it cools, the dressing wilts the leaves and it’s generally not very appealing to me at all if it’s not freshly cooked and made.
OP also mentioned pizza and lasagne, again, the cheese cools and congeals. Can’t think of anything less appetising for me personally, I don’t like food that’s gone cold to congeal so I wouldn’t touch it!

It's not something I do or let me kids do, having left over food out for a few hours doesn't sound hygienic to me but your a grown adult and it's for you so I don't see why it's anyone's business as long as you like it, you crack on.

@Kanaloa she says she has to make a conscious effort to sit down with her BF and eat a full meal. Would you not describe that as anxiety around eating? Like others I have said I unfortunately have experience of dealing with people with eating disorders and this behaviour, as with others, is alarming to me because of that.

Of course I save leftovers - but I don’t leave them on the kitchen counter for hours, having been half eaten, and then take random forkfuls as I am passing. I dish up a portion, eat that portion and the rest is cooled quickly and put in the fridge. I mean you’re probably not going to get sick from room temperature pizza(depending on toppings) but rice for example really shouldn’t be left out for hours.

Why, when it'll be cold when you come back to it? Wouldn't it be easier just to go and get some biscuits and cheese or fruit or something later?

i do it with certain meals-stay up late so feel hungry=nothing to do with him unless he paid and cooked it

It’s really gross for most meals though.
Uneaten previously cooked foods should go in the fridge. Not just set on the side for hours.
Cooked chicken belongs in the fridge.
The thought of coming back to a half eaten dinner (even my own) makes me feel really sick.
I mean is it picking at cold spag Bol, shepherds pie, curry, cold carbonara, cold roast diner with cold gravy?
Makes me heave just thinking about it.

Food left out for 3 or 4 hours isn't going to give you food poisoning.

but just eating a couple of mouthfuls every time you’re passing is weird.
Disagree.
Humans evolved to graze. Gorging until you are full in one sitting, every evening, is far more strain on the human digestive system.
It's only convention that says "3 square meals a day".

We were evolved to graze its true. But not graze on the 21st century processed crap that fills our diets and rots our teeth now!