Is this normal eating behaviour?

[lucyboop]

I'm a 30 year old woman, I havd been single the past three years, however, have been seeing someone the past 4 months.

During my time single I developed a habit where I would cook a meal, eat half of it, then put it in the kitchen and pick at it for the rest of the night. So if I was going to the kitchen to load the dishwasher I would have a couple of bites, going to make a cup of tea - another couple of bites. Sometimes I'd finish it, but usually I wouldn't.

Anyways been with my guy for four months and when we cook together, I make a conscious effort to sit down and eat a full meal (even though that's a struggle for me to do all at once), although I usually end up leaving half on it and feeling hungry later on in the evening and just ignoring it.

However, he works later shifts so sometimes he will come over to my house around 8 and half my dinner is still sitting in the kitchen. When he questioned about why he couldn't put it in the bin, I explained to him that I usually liked to have half in one sitting and the other half over the course of a night.

He thinks this is very bizarre and nothing he's ever heard about before. So I'm wondering, is it all that unusual? Number 1 I couldn't eat it all in one sitting. Number 2 I get hungry later on so I have that to pick on otherwise I would snack.

AIBU?

It's fine.

Sounds to me like you’ve developed a really unhealthy pattern. I’d be concerned you’re restricting your food and you admit you usually don’t finish it. Unless you are making a massive portion you are restricting your calories. It sounds unappetising and knowing people with eating disorders I think you are straying in to this territory. Particularly as you say you are now struggling to sit and eat a full meal in company.

MIL does this. It annoys me as she makes a big deal about the portion being too large for her, but it doesn’t bother me overall. Surely just dish yourself a small amount and then have some more later if you want. Why dish up the amount that’s too large?

I kind of get it as I'm a bit of a grazer, don't like food til I've been up about 4 hours, don't eat much in the day but bit of a picker in the evenings. If I cook a roast I probably have half as much as others on my plate but happily nibble at left overs later on. (yes I quite like cold roast potatoes and veg🤷). Perhaps I'll copy you to stop eating crisps, chocolate, toast later in the evening👍☺️

Also I note you say ‘otherwise I would snack’. What’s wrong with having a snack for you if you’ve only had half a dinner? From my experience I think you have entrenched habits and anxiety around breaking them. That doesn’t mean you have an eating disorder but no it isn’t normal

It's weird. I'm a grazer but I wouldn't graze on half a meal that I'd cooked earlier!

I think it’s far worse that he thinks he should put it in the bin.

It's a bit odd. Ok with salads maybe. Few hot meals would be appetising when cold and congealed hours later. Why not enjoy your small dinner then have a healthy snack later on?

The number of mice "nibbling" away on this thread 😂

If you're eating a well balanced diet with sufficient calories and you're a healthy weight, I can't see why this would be a problem. Personally, I'd just plate up th two halves separately and put the spare plate in the fridge for a second dinner later, but provided you're sensible about food hygiene, it's just personal preference.

I mean realistically lots of people do this. Not with their dinner, but loads of people have ‘supper’ of a snack before bed, or something else in the evening etc. At least you’re not wasting the food then cooking or snacking later. I don’t see an issue with it. If you’re happy, who cared that other people do it differently?

It's really weird that you have two bites here, two bites there, of cold congealed dinner all evening, and not a little unpleasant. I wouldn't want to be in the same house as someone doing this. It's not the same as having supper as you eat that as a small meal in one go. And it's fresh, not hours old food.

If someone I was dating did this it would give me the ick.

He is correct it is uncommon, I have never met anyone who does this. But it is not harmful. Maybe the way to deal with it is to agree with him it is unusual and then you can both forget about it?

I do think it would cause issues with children though, as they will copy you!

I think it's quite a...disgusting habit.
Unlike two smaller meals or snacking.

I can just about picture: I ask my other half to pour a glass of wine whilst they're heading towards the kitchen anyways. Then a strange delay whilst they're there finger picking at cold meatballs. But won't peruse the cheese/olives as that's snacking...

I'm getting the ick. Just as well I'm not there and my icks don't matter...

Hours old food? Cold and congealed? Unpleasant? It’s eating a bite of food. Plenty of foods (baby potatoes, pasta, chicken etc) can easily be stored in the fridge and eaten cold. Unless it’s been sitting out for three days it’s not going to be congealed and disgusting.

So bizarre that you would feel you couldn’t be in the same house as someone eating a bit of cold chicken. To me that’s much weirder than saving leftovers.

Because the OP can't eat enough in one sitting to fill her needs. She can only stomach half a meal at a time. She's sort of a grazer. Not off at all.

I also can’t see what’s ‘disgusting’ about it.

Plus, I enjoy a hearty stew or a soup in the winter. I suppose OP doesn't... Cause that would be really strange!

Luckily I own cutlery in my house

I normally leave the pan out and go back and get more through the evening, which is basically the same thing just hungrier/greedier.

wtf

It's quite unusual but not that strange. I mean, it's not really any different to leaving a pack of crisps or haribo or whatever in the kitchen and taking a few here and there throughout the evening.

That doesn't make it any less strange for me. Or less strange for your boyfriend obviously.

Anything particularly wrong with two smaller meals spaced apart?
Instead of disappearing off to the kitchen for fork-fuls of cold food?
Also, how does that differ from snacking in your mind?

Do you feel like you are full had enough or just bored of eating ?

I wouldn't like to pick away at what I'm assuming is a cold dinner but it's how you like to eat. Personally I'd give my self less dinner and maybe have a snack later on.

I think it’s really weird and disordered eating, all these replies are surprising me.

I feel exactly the same.