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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this normal eating behaviour?

147 replies

lucyboop · 10/01/2023 21:26

I'm a 30 year old woman, I havd been single the past three years, however, have been seeing someone the past 4 months.

During my time single I developed a habit where I would cook a meal, eat half of it, then put it in the kitchen and pick at it for the rest of the night. So if I was going to the kitchen to load the dishwasher I would have a couple of bites, going to make a cup of tea - another couple of bites. Sometimes I'd finish it, but usually I wouldn't.

Anyways been with my guy for four months and when we cook together, I make a conscious effort to sit down and eat a full meal (even though that's a struggle for me to do all at once), although I usually end up leaving half on it and feeling hungry later on in the evening and just ignoring it.

However, he works later shifts so sometimes he will come over to my house around 8 and half my dinner is still sitting in the kitchen. When he questioned about why he couldn't put it in the bin, I explained to him that I usually liked to have half in one sitting and the other half over the course of a night.

He thinks this is very bizarre and nothing he's ever heard about before. So I'm wondering, is it all that unusual? Number 1 I couldn't eat it all in one sitting. Number 2 I get hungry later on so I have that to pick on otherwise I would snack.

AIBU?

OP posts:
WaddleAway · 10/01/2023 22:05

It’s not something I’ve ever heard of people doing, but if it works for you then fine.
Isnt it cold though? I can’t stand cold food (unless it’s something that’s supposed to be cold) so couldn’t do it myself!

Mrsjayy · 10/01/2023 22:06

It's definitely disordered eating.

nc1013 · 10/01/2023 22:11

I struggle to eat a full portion and am hungry an hour or 2 after I've eaten. I think it's quite good for your metabolism in terms of little and often

Having said that there aren't many meals I could go back to and puck at cold. I tend to heat any leftovers up if/when I'm hungry. Also means I eat twice rather than picking at the cold food

QueenCamilla · 10/01/2023 22:12

What happens if you're watching a movie on a night and you get hungry? Does the video get paused for you to dash to fork a cold meatball? Or do you bring the half-finished plate back in? Or do you head back to the kitchen once he's asleep?

I'm amused. Mumsnet can be a strange place.

NumberTheory · 10/01/2023 22:14

Unusual in that I’ve never met anyone who does it like that before. But quite a lot of people have a snack later or supper after an evening meal, so not all that unusual if you reframe it as a snack or supper!

Eyerollcentral · 10/01/2023 22:17

QueenCamilla · 10/01/2023 22:12

What happens if you're watching a movie on a night and you get hungry? Does the video get paused for you to dash to fork a cold meatball? Or do you bring the half-finished plate back in? Or do you head back to the kitchen once he's asleep?

I'm amused. Mumsnet can be a strange place.

What do you think is funny about disordered eating?

GoldenCagedBird · 10/01/2023 22:18

very odd

just serve a smaller portion of dinner and have something nice for a snack later- yogurt and granola, toast and ham, eggs, pancakes, deli bits

i would not want to eat my congealed leftover dinner later on an evening. Sounds very unappealing and k wouldn’t want to watch someone sit down to eat a 2nd portion of cold dinner at 9pm

Fragrantandfoolish · 10/01/2023 22:21

I also thought it was a weight control thing, you know you;L want to snack later so you eat half then snack on the rest of your dinner.

Fairislefandango · 10/01/2023 22:21

I think it's weird. It sounds like there might be some kind of underlying psychological reason, especially with the way you refer to 'the comfort of having it there'. I find it odd not to be able to eat enough at dinner to keep you full until bed time tbh. I eat about 7pm and never eat anything more until breakfast. Not because I don't allow myself to, just because I don't get hungry again.

Felicity42 · 10/01/2023 22:22

Look... it's only a problem if you can't stop doing it or you feel compelled to do it to an extent that affects your ability to live your life freely.

Like say your BF scrapped it into the bin while you were out of the room, how would you react?
Would you shrug it off and genuinely forget about it, or kick him out or what other reaction might you have...

Mrsjayy · 10/01/2023 22:24

We eat early so I'm usually peckish about 9 and I'm mooching about for something.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/01/2023 22:26

It’s not what most people do but nothing wrong with it. If it suits you, then why not?

Linlaw · 10/01/2023 22:30

It is unusual but I don’t think I’d call it bizarre. It’s just a different way of snacking during the evening.

Sukisal · 10/01/2023 22:33

Eyerollcentral · 10/01/2023 22:05

I feel exactly the same.

Show quote history

As do I….

just eat two meals. All this back and forth seems odd.

RiderOfTheBlue · 10/01/2023 22:34

QueenCamilla · 10/01/2023 22:12

What happens if you're watching a movie on a night and you get hungry? Does the video get paused for you to dash to fork a cold meatball? Or do you bring the half-finished plate back in? Or do you head back to the kitchen once he's asleep?

I'm amused. Mumsnet can be a strange place.

You seem to be a bit obsessed with cold meatballs.

I'm amused. Mumsnet can be a strange place.

NoSquirrels · 10/01/2023 22:38

Sounds like disordered eating to me. Sounds like a way to restrict your calories overall.

Fragrantandfoolish · 10/01/2023 22:43

although I usually end up leaving half on it and feeling hungry later on in the evening and just ignoring it.

why do you just ignore it? Why can’t you eat?

Aloezebra · 10/01/2023 22:44

I have questions! What sort of meals are we talking? Is it like you eat half a bowl of pasta, leave it on the counter and come back to have forkfuls throughout the evening? I feel like I need to visualise the steps of this! Does it get a bit cold and less tasty? Do you warm it up? Do you chill it? So many questions

Original poster
lucyboop · 10/01/2023 22:46

Aloezebra · 10/01/2023 22:44

I have questions! What sort of meals are we talking? Is it like you eat half a bowl of pasta, leave it on the counter and come back to have forkfuls throughout the evening? I feel like I need to visualise the steps of this! Does it get a bit cold and less tasty? Do you warm it up? Do you chill it? So many questions

So it can range from pasta, to chicken Kyiv with veg, lasagna, chicken salad, pizza, etc. anything really. I think it tastes just as good cold.

OP posts:
ilovepixie · 10/01/2023 22:47

My OH and I used to do this. He cooked big portions and we used to eat half and then eat the other half later. It was normal for us.

Jadviga · 10/01/2023 22:48

I would make myself half a portion and then have actual snack food the rest of the time - apples, yoghurt, nuts, toast, etc.

I wouldn't enjoy a cold dinner that's been sitting there for hours.

But if it works for you, it doesn't hurt anyone so it's a non-issue. It is a little weird I suppose, or at least unusual, but who cares ?

Blueeyedgirl21 · 10/01/2023 22:48

Some leftover chicken goujons or whatever yes, but can’t imagine leaving half a bowl of stew or Bolognese out to go cold and then having the odd mouthful here and there over the course of a few hours.

Eyerollcentral · 10/01/2023 22:48

Do you generally count calories OP? As I say I would be concerned and have known friends who did similar things.

BreatheAndFocus · 10/01/2023 22:50

I think there are issues underlying this. Are you ‘afraid’ to finish a meal? What if something went wrong with your cooking and your meal was half the size you were expecting it to be - would you eat it all then?

Why do you need the comfort of knowing half your meal is on a plate in the kitchen? Did you used to go short of food? Are you worried you’ll pick at crisps or biscuits if you don’t have half a meal waiting for you? Why are you taking forkfuls as you walk by on various tasks? Why don’t you wait until you’re hungry and then eat the other half of your meal all in one go?

Sorry - so many questions! I do think there’s more to it. People usually just cook the size of meal that they’ll eat.

Aloezebra · 10/01/2023 22:52

I suppose sometimes I do similar when I batch cook? I’ll cook a few portions, plate up a portion, eat it, leave the rest to cool, decide I fancy more and eat another little portion which is lukewarm ish or cold

Its definitely a little weird in that it’s out of the usual

I think it’s fine if you’re genuinely just full when you eat half and hungry when you eat more! But if you’re not allowing yourself to finish or you’re getting obsessive about it it could be a problem

What happens when you go for dinner elsewhere or eat at his?