To tell her to piss off

[Neuroillogical]

Apologies in advance for the rant…

In the supermarket with family. DH leaves store to nip across the road in car for extra bits while we finish shop.

He goes to inch out of parking space only to discover random lady was in his blind spot walking to the store with her trolley. Warning sensors beeped - he stopped immediately. Said lady then proceeds to bang on the window and demand he get out and speak to her and a whole shit show of drama ensues.

She claims he ‘touched her hip with car’ and threatens to call police. HIGHLY unlikely for various reasons but DH apologetic anyway/asked if she was ok/does she need anything. DH is a ppl pleaser (unlike me 😌) & being nice only seemed to spur her on. She gives him long lecture about how to drive(he drives for a living). Then demands to see disabled badge b/cos he doesn’t ‘look disabled’. (It was a disabled + parent child bay). Then accuses him of lying about having kids. (DH explains they are in store so she asks to see the car seats!!)

Anyway she starts taking pics of car, number plate (and DH!!!) for ´evidence’. Says she isn’t hurt in any way but she doesn’t feel DH apology is sufficient or sincere. He asks how he can resolve & she says it’s up to him to ´convince her he’s sorry’. Repeatedly threatening to call police. DH offers to call them himself & as soon as he dials she disappears off into the shop. Erm ok.

We reunite & he tells me what happened. By this point DH is shaken (he’s a nervous guy) & starts to worry he is going to be in some sort of trouble if she makes an accusation at a later date. As luck would have it we bump into her later at the exit & she is with a manager. She starts CRYING & saying she needs to be escorted to her car b/cos she was run over & is scared of DH. WTH!!

My thoughts-

1. She’s a drama queen
2. Even if and it’s a big IF DH brushed her with car(more likely she was startled) she is equally responsible for walking in a cars blind spot in the dark in the middle of a car park (and not on the designated walkway). also it’s an SUV and she was about 5 ft 2 on a good day
3. She wasn’t hurt so should have accepted apology and left it. If she was so tramautised & outraged she would have called police -not done her weekly shop after
4. She is outrageous for demanding proof of disability/children. It’s irrelevant and rude. (Ironically all our children and myself are actually disabled). She is neither the owner of the car park or J.Sainsbury.
5. she is a chancer who I suspect was hoping for an offer of cash or something similar (which is also why I think she complained to manager) Gift card anyone??

Anyway, I got tired of seeing DH grovelling to her so I may/may not have told her where to stick her trolley. 😏

Interested to know how other people would have handled it..

I have reached that point in life where I can't be bothered to argue with crazy people anymore. I go into 'ignore' mode, pretend they aren't there, and carry on with my day.

I never used to be like that and would get into some awful rows with people, then one day realised that it was counterproductive and causing me too much stress. I am much happier with my new approach to life.

2. Never heard of Disabled/Child spaces. Disability spaces are priority, child spaces are a convenience. He had neither reason to use them.

OP and her kids, who were on the shopping trip, are disabled.

She is responsible for her own safety, to be aware of the possibility of vehicles moving, to look around her and presumably she isn’t deaf so she’d have heard the engine noise.

The OP also states that it was dark and the woman was not on the pedestrian path.

She's after compensation

@Daffodilsandtuplips that's not how it works. Yes a pedestrian has responsibility to an extent but you can't presume someone isn't deaf / mobility impaired etc. Also electric cars are silent.

The hierarchy of road users means that the those who can do the greatest harm have the greatest responsibility to reduce that risk. Ie drivers not pedestrians.

OP your dh should've stuck up for himself and you don't actually KNOW what happened. If she was nudged then I think it's fair enough she was annoyed but not how abusive she was. I would've contacted the police - in fact I'd probably pop in to the station even now and let them know about it. I did this once when a kid ran in front of my car, I didn't hit them thank god but the parent was raging at me (probably shock) and I was really shaken up.

I also want to say that if DH hit her, totally his fault. In a carpark you should expect there will be people! That's quite terrible if he did hit her, like another poster said, imagine if that had been a child. I don't even want to think about it. Clearly he was too close either way if he's not 100% sure himself (or if she was close enough to say she was hit)

@Starlitestarbright My licence is bigger than your licence… 🤣 seriously?? DH also has a HGV licence and drives large vehicles. Now this might suprise you, but this doesn’t have any bearing on your ability to have an accident.

but your right my DH is a shit driver and your a shit reader. I have a blue badge and 3 kids.

your DH’s medal is in the post.

Ms@MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig

Sorry meant reversing. He should not have been reversing. It's a fundamental rule. Anyone who drives those 'tanks' has a predisposition to dyed-in arrogance. Pesky pedestrians....

For further context, dual parking spaces do exist where I live. Closest spaces are disabled only, semi close disabled or parent/child. I only made this point because the woman initially seemed more bothered about the fact she thought we were taking up a space we weren’t entitled to.

And yes, DH is responsible for looking where he is driving BUT imo she also has a responsibility to look where she is going. It’s called a blind spot for a reason.

If she is going to walk that close behind a vehicle in the dark rather that use the designated walkway then she is assuming risk. Also I have strong doubts about whether the vehicle actually made contact but that’s another thread 😆

The point is she wasn’t hurt at all he said sorry that should have been the end of it.

The fact she was willing to forget it all if DH ´made her feel like he was sorry’ leads me to believe she was a chancer after some money or free shopping.

We offered to call the police and request CCTV - both of which she declined.

@EatYourVegetables i’m sorry if your also 5ft 2 and this touched a nerve. I am also short so no discrimination here.

Of course she can’t help being small. But presumably she should take this into account when walking behind big vehicles in the dark.

The same way I wouldn’t walk backwards up a dual carriageway wearing all black at midnight and expect to be safe.

@Yesthatismychildsigh the OP and her children are all disabled so he had every right to be in a disabled/child space.

@Nosecan not sure I understand your point she isn’t a child so should know better

If it were a child, I wouldn’t hold them at all responsible but their parents would be . If you let your child walk that close behind vehicles in a car park whatever time of day I would summise you were a twat.

Personally from how you describe the interaction to me it sounds like she’s trying it on.

@Yesthatismychildsigh Your colourful vocabulary suggests you are somewhat educated, yet you clearly can’t read. Hm.

‘And yes, DH is responsible for looking where he is driving BUT imo she also has a responsibility to look where she is going. It’s called a blind spot for a reason.’
Legally, no. The primary responsibility is on the person reversing to make sure the way is clear. You are supposed to carry out adequate checks such bad looking over your shoulder before starting your manoeuvre. ESPECIALLY in a car park where you know there are likely to be pedestrians.
Was this an older woman? I don’t know if she was trying it on but honestly what an aggressive response.

Apologies, I read it as he’d parked in the space in the other place he was going to, not in the place where OP and children were. Apologies again.

Also you admit you don’t know if the car hit it her but in any event you don’t believe she was hurt…I mean I think I would be hurt if several tonnes of metal hit me with even a glancing blow but as you say you don’t know and have no way of knowing. If she is injured and pursues a claim I would say 90% chance your husband will be found liable.

Sounds like she wanted some cash compensation from him. That’s what she meant by ‘convince me you’re sorry’ it means give me some money. I highly doubt anything will come of this, she shit herself when he started to phone the police so she’s not going to do that herself. She’s just a chancer, she saw an opportunity to try and get a few quid out of you. Ignore her and don’t loose any sleep over it.

She sounds insane!

It sounds like she did it on purpose to get cash from him to show he’s sorry. Based on her insane behavior, crying, escorted by manager, afraid of your dh etc. Scam.

@Dailydripfed she might be a chancer but tbf to her it’s nothing to do with the police. It’s an accident in a private car park with no serious injury. The police aren’t going to turn up. If I was the OP I’d make sure I had reported it to my insurer as technically you are in breach of your policy by failing to do so. Also allows them to see if there is any cctv of the incident before it is deleted. That may help clear up if there was contact. Whether or not there is an injury would have to be resolved by medical evidence. By the sound of it there’s nothing serious but soft tissue injuries (bruising, haematoma, pain) can often become apparent in the days following an accident. Leaving aside any other considerations from a pure liability point of view the OP DH is more than likely at fault.

@Eyerollcentral No one is saying DH has no responsibility as a driver. But you can’t tell me she has zero responsibility for her own personal safety. There is a walkway for a reason.

No one knows for sure if she was actually hit. I suspect not for a variety of reasons but that doesn’t really matter either way. He apologised profusely IF he did or even at the least startle her. What more could he have done?

She admitted she wasn’t hurt in the slightest so what did she want? Seems odd to make all that fuss but back down when police or CCTV is mentioned.

She managed her weekly shop just fine after being ‘hit by tonnes of metal’

Unfortunately, the onus and responsibility is always on the person in the car to make sure it is safe before they make a manoeuvre. People are idiots and do idiotic things. I've had near misses before from just driving down the road at night. The number of people who think nothing of riding out of a side street on their bicycle while wearing all black and not a light on. Same with people all in dark clothing who just run across the road in front of your car assuming you see them. It's terrifying.

That's why I always reverse park in car parks (or find one I can drive right through into another so I'm facing out 😅). You can't trust people to have common sense not to wander behind your reversing car.