To be annoyed at DH over this (money/work related)?

[NotSummerYet]

My DH has had his own business for about 7 years now. The business does ok and makes him a wage but has never done anywhere near as well as it could have done. There are lots of things he could do to make the business better or to make a huge profit, but he can't be bothered. He would rather do his large range of hobbies or sit watching TV.

Which is all ok I guess. I suppose we work to live not the other way round. However, he has expensive tastes and spends a lot of money on his hobbies' equipment, is going on a lads' skiing holiday in March which will cost at least £1.5k, plus the cost of new ski wear, he regularly does a diet meal delivery service which costs £75 per week just for his food, etc. We also have recently accumulated some debt due to an error he made with something and it cost us a lot of money.

I work full time and am about to start a new job next week which is a lot more money than I have been earning currently.

However, DH has announced to me that the extra money that I earn can go off each month to pay off the debt. So again I'm going to be left with next to nothing for myself each month, whilst paying off debts and whilst he carries on spending and spending on whatever he wants.

AIBU to be pissed off with this and say he either needs to cut back on his spending or earn more money from his business or go and get a job instead? It annoys me that his business could have done so well but he makes bare minimum effort.

You need to spell out to him that you get no fun spends and if you did you'd both have to cut back. How do you sit comparison wise in terms of what he earns from the business v your new salary ? We've had similar here with my Dh saying "it's not my fault if you don't do anything" to which I had to point out to him we couldn't afford for both of us to do stuff once he has blindly spent what he wants on his trips/ possessions. Drove me mad. I'm getting a pay rise soon and will be saving every bit for myself and suggest going do the same

All these answers are about how to change the money set up, but the real change you need to make is to get rid of him

He doesn't respect you. He doesn't see you as equal. He thinks he can spend all the money and accrue all the debt and you can pay it off, while you spoend nothing.

I bet he does very little in the wya of housework and you have little intimacy anymore as well?

He's a twat. Get rid

OP you have been made a complete mug. How did you end up in this situation?
Why do you allow your money to be pooled then have nothing for yourself whilst he spends loads on himself?
He's an utter twat, but at the same time if you are going to stay with him you could do something proactive about your money.
Open up your own savings account and put money equal to what he is wasting into it.
Buy yourself nice things.
Don't play his bloody debt off.
Stop being so passive and do something about it!

Equal discretionary money - his can go ok debt repayment! Or at least you both end up with the same to spend after debt repayment.

Works fine for us. We have the same amount to spend on personal stuff monthly

OP however needs to ensure her salary from her new job is paid into a new and entirely separate account.
Time to draw up a spreadsheet and tell DH how much he needs to put in monthly to cover his share of the household. Plus the debt.

Otherwise it's a divorce or you may as well accept that you are married to someone who feels no need to attempt to pull his weight or to treat you fairly.

He is a workshy cocklodger. Stoo giving him money. He needs to pay his debts himself.

Kindly meant but you really are a mug who is being made an awful fool of by a lazy selfish loser.

I feel for your children, neither of you are good parenting models.

Is this what you want for them?

To be a selfish loser?

To be utterly exploited by their partner and used like a work horse cash machine?

Give that head a wobble.

His debt his money pays it.